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To wonder why the hell I was so stressed out after DC1?

(60 Posts)
Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 19:36:35

DS1 has just turned 2. DD1 was born three weeks ago. With DS1 I spent near enough two years in a constant state of anxiety and stress. Now I've had another I seriously wonder what I fussed about. She does nothing! It's bliss. I can vividly remember getting together with other new mums after DS1 and you'd think we'd all experienced living in a war torn country.

Does anyone else feel like this?

SchroSawMargeryDaw Mon 06-May-13 19:38:44

Probably because it's all new and you're worrying if you're doing everything right the first time round.

Hopefully I find it as easy as you in a few months! grin

MamaMary Mon 06-May-13 19:43:39

Yes I'm with you. DD1 took up all my time. It was a full-time job looking after her as a baby. She wasn't a difficult baby, but I remember it being so stressful looking after her.

She is still a full-time job as a 2.5 year old.

DD2 on the other hand? 4 months old. Eats. Gurgles. Sucks her thumb. And sleeps A LOT. In short, an absolute breeze. When I just have DD2 to look after, I seem to have loads of free time. This was never the case with DD1.

SwishSwoshSwoosh Mon 06-May-13 19:48:04

Because it is a major adjustment having your first child? It is hard work. Just because we find things easier second or third time round doesn't mean they werent genuinely hard first time.

Being a new first time mum is hard.

Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 19:49:01

It's weird! I feel weirdly guilty that I'm not stressed (I need a life...). Two's the charm Schro, I promise! Glad it's not just me Mama. Hope my experience is like yours and it stays that way. I'm literally pinching myself I'm so happy!

Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 19:50:49

It is bloody hard Swish. It's a journey I'm glad I went on but also an adjustment phase that I'm really (really) glad is over. I found it so hard and have promised to be there for any first time mum friends who need help and reassurance.

Thumbtack Mon 06-May-13 19:52:40

I am finding it mind blowingly hard, its such a shock to the system.
blush I worry all the time . .

I cant help it!

SchroSawMargeryDaw Mon 06-May-13 19:52:54

I may have to hold you to that Wine, everyone else I have spoken to has said it's bloody hard!

I guess it's when they are 1 and 3 at the same time that it might become a bit awful but I will just pretend that is never going to actually happen.


Glad you are happy though, always good to be pleasantly surprised.

Wishwehadgoneabroad Mon 06-May-13 19:55:00

Because my body had exploded, I was in pain, suffering sleep deprivation and hadn't got a bloody clue what I was doing grin

Pretty certain number 2 will be a breeze compared to this one.

Everything was new - putting a nappy on, bathing a baby, using the car seat etc etc. Number 2 is just doing everything you already know how to do!

CreatureRetorts Mon 06-May-13 19:55:17

Well first time around you hadn't done it before. It's a massive change.

I felt similar after I had dd - DS was my first and I was so neurotic.

However it's hard juggling two at times, especially when the second starts grabbing etc.

So YABU a bit - you'll be one of those annoying mums telling first timers how easy babies are, forgetting actually it is hard!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 06-May-13 19:55:45

My second baby was - and is still aged 2 - harder work.

Just saying grin

CognitiveOverload Mon 06-May-13 19:56:03

I was shell shocked after my first. Affects people in different ways.

TheCrackFox Mon 06-May-13 19:56:44

I had the same experience - I found DC1 to be a huge life changing and incredibly stressful experience. DC2 just slotted right in. Very strange.

pcbmc00 Mon 06-May-13 19:57:01

I totally agree with you dd2 is a dream and so so so easy... what was I thinking before... I think its mother nature also convincing you to have another child!!! smile

Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 19:59:45

No no no no! Creature hereby promise I will NEVER forget how hard it was to be a first time mum. Never! I found it so hard. Like beyond hard. Me too - so neurotic. Don't get me wrong - two ain't gonna be a picnic. But it just feels so different this time. I'm enjoying her! I feel very lucky.

Bearcrumble Mon 06-May-13 20:01:23

They do kind of 'wake up' after about 4 weeks though.

Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 20:02:31

Yes TheCrackFox - she's just slotted in and everything has clicked into place. It's disarming!

LauraPashley Mon 06-May-13 20:02:42

Me too, no 2 was a breeze! Maternity leave with dd1 was hard, hard work, passed in a blur. With dd2 mat leave was a blissful lazy holiday, which I will always look back upon with huge fondness. Paid holiday at that! (To an extent).

ChunkyChicken Mon 06-May-13 20:03:07

My DS is nearly 6mo & my DD is 3yo. I found it really hard this time, but not because of the physical/practical stuff. I think there was a lot of emotional stuff going on this time around, whereas with my DD, I just did what I needed to do for her, iyswim. I didn't stress or worry with her, & she was a relatively easy baby. DS is also relatively easy, but I missed time to myself when DD naps, I missed time with her 1-to-1, my DH was less supportive for a number of reasons. I think when DS was 10wks was a real low point - the adrenaline of having such a good birth, healthy baby had worn off and the exhaustion was setting in. It soon improves though & cuddling my lovely dc is the best thing in the world.

Perhaps if you find the first dc particularly tough, the second one is a walk in the park in comparison?

Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 20:03:29

Pcb - I already want another!

Bear - hmmmm....kinda worried about that bit grin

HollyBerryBush Mon 06-May-13 20:07:21

>points and laughs<

DS1 was a text book doddle

DS2 was a colic ridden beast

DS3 was unreal in his total lack of need (autistic)

Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 20:07:39

Laura - same here! My mat leave with DS1 upsets me looking back. Total stressful blur. Quite awful if I'm being honest. This time, so far, I'm in heaven. I hope I'll also look back with fondness too as I feel I missed out on that. A friend was saying how much she loved her mat leave with her DS1 and I was really jealous thinking I must have done things all wrong sad

Chunky - yep I found it particularly hard and had braced myself for the same.

Winetime1981 Mon 06-May-13 20:09:02

grin colic ridden beast

VinegarDrinker Mon 06-May-13 20:10:49

I am enjoying this thread hugely! (32 weeks with number 2 and in denial)

HollyBerryBush Mon 06-May-13 20:13:19

You think I'm joking - I'm not.

trust me, I can do every over the counter paedo drug combo

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