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To think it's unfair that DH tries to dictate what I can watch on TV?

(83 Posts)
YummyCalpol Sun 05-May-13 23:11:14

DH and I like totally different tv programmes. He likes sport, fly on the wall police shows, action films, that kind of thing, and I guess I like female programmes; OBEM, America's Next Top Model, and shows like the Apprentice (I know, I know, don't judge me)

Every night DH has the remote control glued to his hand and every night we watch what he wants to watch. If there's anything I want to watch I have to either sky plus it and stay up late to watch when he's in bed, or wait until he's dozed off in the chair (and even then he sometimes gets arsey if I turn over).

Quite frequently he'll decide there's 'nothing on' and just put sport on. He never asks me if there's anything I would like to watch and if ever I say there's something i'd like to watch he gets huffy.

What's annoyed me now is that lately he's started imposing conditions about what I can and can't watch when he's asleep in the chair. We have spent all evening with his programmes on, he just dozed off and I asked for the remote control and he said 'it depends what you want on, you can't watch OBEM or any model type shows or reality shows'.

I got really cross and said that he has no right to impose conditions upon what I watch, and that he has more than his fair share of watching his own programmes, and that if I have to abide by viewing rules to suit him then the same must apply to him! As per usual when I raise anything I'm not happy with he just didn't even reply to me, just looked away and went back to sleep.

CSIJanner Sun 05-May-13 23:17:20

YANBU - find the make and model of the remote, buy off eBay and then have fun, randomly changing channels when he least expects it, say, midgoal.

Failing that, remove all batteries and leave sky locked to Sky1 or FiveUS

somedayma Sun 05-May-13 23:19:37

Yanbu. Massive lack of respect for you sad

AgentZigzag Sun 05-May-13 23:22:56

'he's started imposing conditions about what I can and can't watch when he's asleep in the chair.'


The only way that could be anything approaching reasonable was if it was banter and he was pulling your leg.

Anything else is just controlling and creepy.

As is him just fucking you off to go back to sleep.

MaryRobinson Sun 05-May-13 23:24:00

Fucking Hell. Are there other ways in which he utterly disregards you?

AgentZigzag Sun 05-May-13 23:24:12

Any other situations where he thinks this kind of shite is OK?

Jinsei Sun 05-May-13 23:24:15

Yanbu. Since when did he get appointed to censor your viewing?! Is he controlling of you in other ways? I would not tolerate this!

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Sun 05-May-13 23:24:18

Ask him how he'd like to watch OBEM with the remote control shoved up his arse.

He is B extremely U, and, going by your OP, doesn't seem to have a particularly high opinion of you sad

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 05-May-13 23:24:56

He's being very weird and controlling.

In the meantime, iPlayer and a set of headphones.

AnyFucker Sun 05-May-13 23:25:03

Never mind the telly, your H is a nasty twat and you would do well to DTF

YummyCalpol Sun 05-May-13 23:29:34

He is disrespectful to me in some ways; if ever I raise anything that I'm not happy with he just ignores me and pretends I haven't spoken.

He also gets moody and sometimes I feel a bit frightened to tell him things or to not do as he says as the moods aren't worth it. He's also quite critical of jobs I do in the house

YouTheCat Sun 05-May-13 23:30:26

My ex used to do this. On the odd occasions I did watch Big Brother, or whatever it was I fancied, he would huff and puff and talk through it and then tell me loudly how shit it all was.

He was a twat. Your dh sounds like a twat.

Get rid or get a second tv.

YouTheCat Sun 05-May-13 23:30:56

X post - yummy LTB.

PeneloPeePitstop Sun 05-May-13 23:31:18

Cancel the sports channels? wink

YummyCalpol Sun 05-May-13 23:33:05

The thing is, I've tried to speak to him so many times about how he makes me feel anxious and nervous if I don't do as he says, but he refuses to listen to me and just says 'that's your problem, I'm not having this conversation as the way you feel is nothing to do with me'

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 23:33:39

What a lovely 1950s husband you're shackled to hmm

Get your own telly and tell him to fuck right off.

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 23:34:28

'the way you feel is nothing to do with me'

What an absolute cock. Does he have any good points?

LindyHemming Sun 05-May-13 23:35:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 05-May-13 23:35:29

Hmm. This isn't just about the telly. He does sound very controlling.

AgentZigzag Sun 05-May-13 23:35:59

That's quite a few ways he acts as though he's the boss of you Yummy.

What is it that makes you frightened about his moods?

Does he just blank you? If he does, how long can that last?

What would happen if you rammed the mop head up his arse told him to fuck off and do the jobs in the house himself if he doesn't think you're up to fucking scratch?

YummyCalpol Sun 05-May-13 23:36:20

we have three children; age 14, 7 and 3. I've been a SAHM since I had the 7 year old. He wasn't like this before I was a SAHM but as soon as a I gave up my career (which was our decision/choice not solely mine) it has been a downward slope of disrespect, which has got worse probably in the last 2 years

AgentZigzag Sun 05-May-13 23:37:46

'I'm not having this conversation as the way you feel is nothing to do with me'

That's not a good thing for your DH to feel is acceptable to say to you.

Why are you with him if he's so detached he doesn't care how you feel?

YummyCalpol Sun 05-May-13 23:38:15

I think the sulking and bad atmosphere makes me nervous, Agent. And then him trying to blame me for any atmosphere or telling me that it's my fault because I started it.

My parents were very strict and controlling (long story) and I felt constantly frightened as a child and teenager as I used to get hit if I disobeyed them, and disobeying to them isn't the same meaning that most of us have about what disobeying means if you get my drift. Basically I walked on egg shells and couldn't do a thing right. It feels the same way at home these days, minus the getting hit of course

AgentZigzag Sun 05-May-13 23:39:09

Does his behaviour make you care about how he feels Yummy?

YummyCalpol Sun 05-May-13 23:40:38

Not really Agent.

I think it's just that I find the sulking impossible to cope with. I hate any bad feelings or feeling that anyone is ever in a bad mood with me. And he always finds some way to project it back onto me

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