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To tell this chap to get stuffed? (long winded, sorry!)

(33 Posts)
fritteringtwit Sun 05-May-13 17:55:54

Ive just had another visit from the man who wants to buy the house next door to mine. Hes worried about a roof that overhangs a shed that runs along the boundary (shed is built from long rectangular concrete slab things and has a flat roof). He's been round here four or five times now mithering the life out of me and is starting to do my head in.

My house used to belong to my parents, now me. 60- odd years ago, my parents neighbours built this shed along the boundary. The side wall of this shed encroaches onto our side of the boundary by about a 18 inches wide by about 6 feet in length. The boundary wall is connected to the rear of their shed and runs (unsurprisingly) between the two properties. Shortly after the shed and wall was built, my parents covered the gap between the gable end of the house and the boundary wall/shed to make a porch. The guttering has always been on the neighbour?s side of the boundary for about 6 feet and also across the neighbour?s shed roof, but following the boundary, for about two feet. My parents got permission from the original neigbour to do it and for over 60 years and with at least 5 different families living next door, everyone has been OK with this.

He is complaining about the overhanging roof and says its got to come down or be moved or he'll just knock the shed and wall down. He did backpedal a bit when I told him that "his" shed is actually built on my property, and "his" shed wall is on my land and this roof has been in place for over 60 years. He reckons that his mortgage company wont let him have a mortgage with things the way they are (which is a load of bollocks as it hasn't doesnt affect the value of the house, which is on the market for £45k more than the last time it went up for sale 10 years ago). He didnt have an answer when I asked him how he thought the different people that have lived there before him managed!! He just opened and closed his mouth for a bit trying to think of something to say then changed the subject.

It is literally a load of fuss over a couple of inches. He wouldnt even see it unless he comes out of either the front or back door, and walks around the corner of the house to stand in the passage and look at it. Its properly maintained and not scruffy or loose or full of weeds or anything like that.

I'm not overly worried just yet, as he hasn?t actually had his offer accepted. I phoned the estate agents to pretend to arrange a viewing and I can go and have a look at the property tomorrow if I want - its empty, the nice old couple that lived there died last year and their sons (who are lovely) have said that they aren't in any hurry to sell the house.

He also made a comment when he walked off down the front drive past a really old conker tree which is on the same boundary "ooh that's a bit big isnt it". I swear I could see him mentally revving up his chainsaw. sad

BeerTricksPotter Sun 05-May-13 18:01:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cravey Sun 05-May-13 18:03:13

I think I would be inclined to speak to the agent when you have a sneaky viewing. If he does buy the house and takes the shed down then you could ask for your land back. He doesn't have to give it back however and that is where problems could arise. Don't tell him to get stuffed just yet you may need to keep him on side.

Bogeyface Sun 05-May-13 18:04:50

I would be as big a PITA as I could be, in order that he is put off buying it. He would be the neighbour from hell.

CookieLady Sun 05-May-13 18:23:25

Start as you mean to go on. In other words stop engaging with the twit. He sounds like the type who'll take the piss.

expatinscotland Sun 05-May-13 18:26:33

I would tell him to jog on.

quoteunquote Sun 05-May-13 18:26:51

go on here, ask the experts, get advice and save yourself getting into a legal battle

If you write up exactly what the situation is, they will give expert advice on how to deal with this, you can then show him the thread and get him on board with the solution.

You need it, or you may lose the bit of garden where the shed is built.

I can be easily solved, and it not a good idea to ignore it.

expatinscotland Sun 05-May-13 18:27:09

And before that, I would make it very clear that if he takes down the shed, my solicitor will take action to get my land back.

fritteringtwit Sun 05-May-13 18:28:16

Well that's what I wanted to do initially CookieLady, but he keeps knocking on my door and I'm too polite to just shut it in his face ... for now at least. Am hoping that he'll find somewhere else soon. I just have a really bad gut feeling about him sad

he's on about getting a surveyor round to look at it and splitting the costs. I've told him Im quite happy with things the way there are!

quoteunquote Sun 05-May-13 18:29:14

I can be easily solved blush yep, I'm simple, here's the missing "t"

fritteringtwit Sun 05-May-13 18:31:17

Ooh thanks quoteunquote. I'll do that now.

expatinscotland Sun 05-May-13 18:33:47

'he's on about getting a surveyor round to look at it and splitting the costs. I've told him Im quite happy with things the way there are!'

WTAF?! Please, get a solicitor, or print off that legal advice. Tell him, 'I have no relationship with you and do not care for one. If you wish to take down the shed I will reclaim my property. I have engaged legal counsel. Do not harass me any further. I will not accept it.' And then shut the door in his face.

HollyBerryBush Sun 05-May-13 18:36:19

Tell him to bugger off, and queer the house sale. You will have years of hell if he moves in.

HollyBerryBush Sun 05-May-13 18:37:31

Oh and keep a broomstick by the door, a few shrunken heads and tell him you are practicing witch, of the dark arts variety, and you and your coven quite like that tree

fritteringtwit Sun 05-May-13 18:40:30

haha! I've just got a new mattress so I might put the old one in the front drive for a bit, generally make the house look like Onslow from keeping up appearances lives here...

Any tips on queering the sale HollyBerryBush?

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 18:45:17

Tell him to get fucked. Be as obnoxious as possible, do anything you need to do to put him off buying.

TalkativeJim Sun 05-May-13 19:00:53

Speak to the council about getting a tree preservation order for the conked tree

TalkativeJim Sun 05-May-13 19:02:03

Conker! If it were conked presumably the chainsaw would be a valid option grin

Hassled Sun 05-May-13 19:04:55

Agree your only hope is probably to do everything you can to be the neighbour from hell.
As you see him approach, open the windows and play some Gangsta Rap or Thrash Metal or something (I know nothing).
Get your DCs kicking footballs about pronto.
Fire up the BBQ and cook something pungent on it.

fritteringtwit Sun 05-May-13 19:43:11

I've already tried the loud music.

One of my friends has conveniently asked if she can leave her car on our drive for a bit as the MOT and tax has run out. Its a right banger so I'll let her park it up, get the wheels off it (friend thinks is a great idea) and shove my old mattress next to it. Will see if I can find an old chair or sofa to add to the ambience ...

The family on the other side have told me that he's also been round there and moaned about their security lighting being too bright and needing adjusting. Which means he's being doing after dark drive bys. Creepy.

I bet his current neighbours are planning a street party.

MadamFolly Sun 05-May-13 21:51:26

Can you speak to the sons and ask them not to sell to him?

ohcluttergotme Sun 05-May-13 21:54:43

Could you maybe speak to the lovely sons selling the house & say this guy is a big pain in the ass & not to sell to him?

stiffstink Sun 05-May-13 21:58:44

On what basis does this dude think that you would pay half the surveyor's fee for someone who doesn't even own the house?! I don't think he can start with all that Party Wall business until he actually owns it.

Tell him to fuck off!

Maggie111 Sun 05-May-13 22:04:53

Make it clear you like your solicitor very much when he starts talking about the bloody shed.

"I'm not sure but I'm happy to get legal advice on it and get back to you, what address should I give the solicitor to get in contact?"

You will never hear from him again.

(I wouldn't say that if he'd bought it already!)

fritteringtwit Sun 05-May-13 22:32:17

My thoughts exactly stiffstink. I think he's trying to scare me (and the people on his other side) into early submission. The wanker

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