Football match or family holiday??(255 Posts)
AIBU - dh's football team just got into the play offs to move into the premiership. If they get through the semi 's then the final will be the day after we go on holiday to Tunisia. He has just asked I would mind if he flew out 2 days later as he wants to see his team at wembly. I am vv annoyed and upset he would rather watch football than go on holiday with us, we are only going for a week so he would be leaving me 3 young dc and my elderly mum for almost half of the holiday. Please give me some perspective on this- am I over reacting?
Smile sweetly, be sympathetic and laugh inwardly at all the Mumsnetters that could not care less about football but were collectively willing Watford to win!!
If I was the kids I would be gutted to be left out if daddy was going to wembley.....
I think yabu to be upset that he wants to do this rather than family holiday.
My DH has spent the best part of 40 years putting time, money and emotion into his team. They're quite high up in the prem but wintrophies aobut once a decade. He flys all over the world supporting them and its something he absolutely loves.
Your DH obviously loves his family but this is a one time event for something he must have invested years in, a holiday to Tunisia, regardless of who it's with doesn't compare. He probably thinks he will ge to go on holiday with you all again but not have this opportunity, if I was him I'd probably put the football first.
Also a assuming your DC must be very young, or are they not interested in football? Mine would probably be desperate to go to the match rather than the holiday too.
Can I come on the holiday ? Currently sitting one place off relegation as this afternoons results come in.
Problem solved? (But probably best to leave DH alone for a while yet whilst he gets over it!)
AThingInYourLife - being a football supporter is not at all like going to rock concerts. Because you see a rock band every few months - you don't have the day to day connection with something bigger than yourself, not the sacrifice that comes with watching crap - it's rarely entertainment for most fans. Your contempt for football supporters is pathetic and offensive. Get off your high horse.
There are many varied magic moments in life Goldmandra,I wasnt suggesting otherwise. If i go to a concert , one of the childrens school plays, even walking the dog and enjoying a lovely evening all these things are magic moments. I am just saying that after many years my own particular football moment has arrived.
The only way you can compare football to a concert etc is if you are talking about people who watch a team on sky now and then.
It doesn't have to be an identical experience to be just as exhilarating. All sorts of experiences can create the sorts of fantastic memories and memorable highs described on this thread.
Football fans are not the only people who have magic moments in their lives.
The only way you can compare football to a concert etc is if you are talking about people who watch a team on sky now and then. If you are a season ticket holder you see the same team once or twice a week, watching with fellow supporters who you know well. Same old faces at away grounds, miles from home. And just once in awhile along comes that magic moment. Welcome to the prem Cardiff City and if your DH s Leicester gain promotion, see you next season.
But if you are in a relationship with someone you love, and they want to do a once in a lifetime thing that they have waited a long time for, then surely you are happy for them to do it, even if you are slightly inconvenienced.
It is not a massive thing to look after your own three children for a couple of days.
You get a choice in a situation like this. You can either get into a downward spiral of mutual begrudging resentment or you can get into an upward spiral of supporting each other and enabling each other to do the enjoyable life enhancing stuff.
Surely if the OP is generous to her husband here, then he will be generous back in a similar situation.
The other half's the big fella. I'm just the short, petite woman who spends his money.
Alright I'm mostly just skimming this thread at this point, cause it's up on my "Threads I'm On" list and I just wanted to see how things have descended since I was last here. I've just read this:
But for those who are still in any doubt, I'm Geezer, the one with the tits, skirt and heeled court shoes
and I had no idea if you were a man or a woman but now I'm really hoping the answer is 'very large man.'
I see poor OP is long gone.
I don't get the football thing either. I know someone who has just paid £800 to move their family holiday just on the off-chance that his team make it through to the final. He says he's supported them through thick and thin and even though he's positive that he's now jinxed it by moving his holiday, he can't take the chance that they will make it and he would miss the game. The reason I can't wrap my head around this is that holidays are very rare beasts in my household and £800 is a huge amount of cash to be squandered in this way. I realise this is not OP's situation because she says money isn't the issue and I'm projecting.
As for the question about whether you let your partner do things or not, that's tricky. I think there's a sliding scale based around the impact on you. For instance, if DH wants to spend a Saturday afternoon out with his mates and I've got nothing special planned, then although he will tell me about it before he says yes, to be sure I'm free, then there's no issue. I will look after DD and everything will be peachy. However, we were having a discussion about me possibly going on a 3 day trip with some friends and leaving DD (who will be 19 months then) behind. This does have a fairly big impact on DH - he has to take the Friday off work (I don't, as it's my non-working day) and care for DD on his own. While he is perfectly capable of doing this, there's no denying that, although adorable, she is very hard work just now, and I wouldn't be happy to look after her completely on my own all weekend while he swanned off to get drunk and sleep in. So I haven't just announced to DH that I'm going and that's that.
I've been to scores of large (and small, very personal) rock concerts as well as football matches, AThing. In my own experience there is no comparison. The camaraderie, unity and level of emotion found in the football stadium doesn't exist at the rock concert.
"And I think you are pitiful for having so little imagination that you cannot comprehend that sense of coming together."
It doesn't take any imagination.
I've been to large rock concerts, where thousands of fans all watch people doing something and cheer along.
The ones who think they are part of something "bigger than themselves" just because they all enjoyed watching the same thing at the same time are as ridiculous as you sound.
It's just entertainment.
It's not a movement.
It has no higher purpose. No profound meaning.
It's watching an entertainment product.
Fun. But nothing more.
Panzee, you had nothing to fight for and didn't bother to field a competitive team. We may have been in trouble otherwise!
I don't think your manager was best pleased though.
AThingInYourLife - And I think you are pitiful for completely failing to comprehend that it's not about the business, or about the players. It's about the community of supporters. And I think you are pitiful for having so little imagination that you cannot comprehend that sense of coming together. And I think you are pitiful for the innate snobbery of assuming that being a football supporter is worthy of pity.
Stuff you, too.
We deserved that yesterday, we always go to pieces when the pressure is off! Daft really.
And I have to say that my team's fans are going to have to think up a new song when May ends!
I have to say, the last time Arsenal played at Wembley is not such a hot memory for me.
Panzee - 1999? And if that's right, did your team lose at home yesterday afternoon? [ducks]
Um, whatamadarse, where have I called anyone selfish? Or self indulgent? Or immature? Where have I personally attacked anyone? Remember saying that there's another way of looking at it, and that I have that other way, is not the same as a personal attack.
Where have you pointed out why you made your assumptions? I can't see where. I can see that you called me immature because of your own lack of understanding of my words. I can see where you wrote that immaturity is probably why I (in your opinion but oddly not that of my other half) "put watching a sport above [my] family". But I don't see where you've made any sense, where you've explained your reasoning or where I've made personal attacks.
Would you prefer a JCB for that hole you're digging?
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