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Bumping into the Ex..

(5 Posts)
popcorner Sat 04-May-13 23:21:23

It has been 13 sodding years since he walked out and broke my heart. I packed my bags and buggered off travelling. It took me years to get over him.
Bumped into him a couple of days ago, only got to speak to him for a moment before I was called into a meeting. I could have choked, he still makes my stomach flip. Have done nothing but think of him ever since and feel as broken hearted as I did all those years ago.
I am now married with 2 wonderful little girls. Things haven't been all that great at home lately, typical new baby stress, sleeplessness and bf difficulties have led to DH and I being a bit distant and snippy with each other.
I need to get a grip of myself. Help me PLEASE!

Tobyturtle Sat 04-May-13 23:36:57

Ahh I think this is perfectly normal. To be honest I think that when you're in a settled relationship, no matter how happy you are, you always think 'what if' when it comes to exes. He is obviously somebody who you're always going to have feelings for but make sure you remember the bad parts of your relationship with him as well as the good. The relationship won't have been perfect no matter what you think now.

You sound like you've done a brilliant job of moving on and have 2 lovely children now. The problem when you are in a long term relationship is that you do (or at least I think a lot of people do) fantasise about the days when they had no commitments and you tend to crave the unpredictabilty and excitement that you had then however people don't tend to remember this accurately and make it out in their head to be better than it was! Just remember the saying 'the grass isn't greener' because generally it isn't!

Cherish the life that you have made for yourself now... And don't worry those sleepless nights will soon be a distant memory!

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 23:43:11

Tobyturtle speaks wise words!

LastMangoInParis Sat 04-May-13 23:52:07

I agree with squoosh!
It's true, it's so easy to imagine that what didn't happen would have been so much better that what did and is happening in our lives - and it's really comforting to imagine, too, somehow, even though it makes us unhappy. It's really easy to use a 'broken heart' as a form of escape. If you can keep reminding yourself that that's what you're doing, and that there is no 'if only' there's only what is, then perhaps take things from there.

BAUagent Sun 05-May-13 00:12:36

I often think about bumping into my ex and hope if I do I look fantastic (about 4 st thinner than real life for a start) and he will see how happy I am. Thing is. I am happy, married now with a dd, and I shouldn't care what the selfish git thinks, but I do want to make him stop and think 'shit, I fucked up'. Petty, yes, but I think there's always someone who has the ability to get under our skin- or rather who never got out from under it! Doesn't mean I don't love my life now or DH any less.

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