Curious what others think.
On the face of it, I know it makes me sound like a decadent cow, which is not the end of the world.
But here's the history - I have 2 children, aged 3 and 5, love them to bits, a boy and a girl (irrelevant). I had 2 bloody awful pregnancies; pre-eclampsia with both, and placenta praevia with the 2nd. I would be having a C-section if I were to have any more babies. Barely slept for the past 3 months of each pregnancy - in fact it was sweet relief when each newborn arrived, even if they fed 3 times in the night I was still getting better quality sleep than in pregnancy!
I come from a family of 2 children, a boy and a girl, just under 2 years apart. I have basically replicated what my mother did, so it feels complete and right for me. If there were nobody else to consider, I probably wouldn't be thinking about having any more children.
My DH, who is the most wonderful loving father and excellent husband, doesn't feel the family is complete. He came from a family of 3 kids (irrelevant?) and both his sisters had 3 kids (irrelevant?) so perhaps he feels he just hasn't ticked that last box. He absolutely loves babies and children.
However. He doesn't have to carry them, something I wasn't terribly "good" at, and he doesn't have to do the majority of care - he is in a Directors role in the City and with that comes long hours, regular travel, etc etc. This is not going to change nor do I particularly want it to, its how we roll.
The thought of going back to "babyland" - nappies, night feeds, weaning, lugging them about, pushchairs, and everything up till about age 2 where they can do some preschool and reliably walk/run and stop plastering weetabix on the wall...it makes me feel TIRED. But it doesn't mean I don't want a 3rd child - if I could fast forward pregnancy and that first stage I know I would never regret it. I know you can't fast forward it, but how about make it as easy as possible?
A Nanny to either do the school run for the 1st 2 children whilst I lay in bed with the baby in the morning, who can then take the baby if I want to pop out or take it to a baby group or something whilst I get on with some housework or a leisure activity, then maybe have the baby whilst I do the afternoon school run, help with dinner pandemonium and all that malarkey, and leave at 5 with 2 fed older children and a bathed baby...that, I could do.
We can afford it. Husband has said "sure, no worries" - he just wants that 3rd child. Who am I to deny him? Is he wrong for wanting it so much when it is such a hard couple of years for me (whereas he's back at work in 2 weeks and apart from some disturbances at night and changes to the weekend routine...
AIBU? Sorry a bit long, didn't want to leave something majorly relevant out and dripfeed...
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AIBU?
AIBU to have a full time nanny if I have a 3rd child, and for that to be a condition of having a 3rd?
91 replies
TattyDevine · 04/05/2013 18:33
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Maryz ·
04/05/2013 19:13
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