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to think being blonde, tall and slim doesn't automatically mean you are beautiful?

(115 Posts)
oharna Sat 04-May-13 15:34:50

(Not saying that anyone who is any of those things is in any way ugly btw)

However I was reading the "do you think you're pretty thread" and quite a few responses were along the lines of "yes because...."

"I am tall and slim" or "I had waist length blonde hair"

I don't think any of these things automatically mean you are beautiful.

Marcia Cross is a redhead. Melissa McCarthy isn't slim. Mila Kunis is only 5ft4. All these women are beautiful (imo) and despite some not being tall, blonde or slim.

Wannabestepfordwife Mon 06-May-13 12:55:44

Yanbu all dp's exs are tall blonde and slim one was a trog but the rest were stunning.

I'm still surprised he ended up with me a 5ft2 curvy redhead (was a natural blonde) I will never know.

If I could look like anyone I think it would have to be Natalie wood

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:46:54

I wish! ARgh. I'm short. And single. I have had all the children i'm every having thank you but I think men who are short of tall themselves don't want to have children with short women. So, I'd say men who are comfortably tall don't care, but shorter men want women nearly their own height. So if you're 5'5-5'6 you're laughing I think. shorter or taller, it could be factor. Not always of course, but just coud be

HotCrossPun Mon 06-May-13 12:44:06

The last person who I looked at and I thought - you look lovely, was the woman who won the Great British Sewing Bee. She had great style, looked graceful and elegant and I has awesome hair.

I don't think there is a format for beauty, so YANBU grin

pastmybbd Mon 06-May-13 12:34:59

When I was young I was tall, blonde and slim, but beautiful?? Er, don't think so. I wasn't ugly either though. Just average.

Being tall must have made me quite threatening to men as I NEVER got chatted up. I even had to approach DH and make the first move. IME men are sometimes intimidated by tall women. Although I am also quite feisty, so perhaps that didn't make me attractive.

I would have loved my girl to be shorter as I think it's something that works much better for women. There seems to be a biological imperative for men to protect women. The more Amazonian we appear, the less men respond. My daughter, however, is so comfy in her own skin and I think that will make her more attractive than I ever was.

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:28:08

Same here, another with poor self-esteem. But PART (and only part) of that comes, but very definitely does come, from having freckles, curly hair, being short, not being blonde. I think the tall blondes are getting messages from society that they internalise, and it's maybenot cockiness so much as that their self esteems haven't been damaged my society. That tall blonde but very plain girl I mentioned a few posts back, I didn't resent that believed she was beautiful, I think I actually was/am jealous that she emerged trhough childhood and young adult without any negative messages about her bodytype and hair colour to internalise. I (and millions of others on the otherhand) got a daily diet of negative messages to internalise.

carabos Mon 06-May-13 12:25:39

Birds you are right about the beautiful teens. I remember my GM taking a photograph of me dressed for a night out/ party when I was about 14. She told me she was doing it because "you will never be as beautiful as you are now".

That boost to self esteem for a skinny, pale brunette with a blonde best friend was priceless. From that day forward to today aged 50 I have believed I am pretty - not world beating, but what I call "ordinary pretty" in the way that the vast majority of women are.

We live in a world where looks matter - really matter so it's crucial that we big up ourselves, our friends, our daughters to recognise all of their gifts and properly see their own beauty - blonde, dark, ginger, sky blue pink, whatever - all of us have something that makes us beautiful, even against conventional standards.

Birdsgottafly Mon 06-May-13 12:15:53

My opinion is fuck modesty, I often wonder what more I could of achieved if I hadn't have had such poor self esteem, linked to appearance bullying during my teens. I was and still am beautiful, I am not saying that physical appearance is the most important thing, but it is were all advertising hits us, whilst we are growing up. I have teen DD's and they have a lot of friends round my house, I do my best to constantly boost their self esteem and teach them to be kind to other females. This is one area that feminism has got absolutely right. I wish every teen girl could see how they really look. Living in our society we are never going to completely remove putting importance on how we look. Western society always put a racist twist on "beauty". We should big up what is good about ourselves, you can do that without putting others down. There is nothing worst than self depreciation and negativity. Women's bodies change. I can remember being asked by a man, if I was disappointed in my ageing body, as if I should be. Well, no, its served me well, my purpose has never been purely ornamental, as much as I have often looked "stunning".

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:04:38

oh god, that roald dahl quote from the twits!

that's why i need botox. my kdis have driven me to botox. it's their fault.

Jenny0505 Mon 06-May-13 12:02:23

to me 'pretty' is regular symmetrical features. It's also a sort of compliance with the notion of making the most of yourself. You might not want to. You might have the equipment to be pretty but not choose that.

I know what you mean OP though. I used to work with a girl who was 6', had long blond hair, and she loved herself. Which was nice for her. SHe was genuinely confused, baffled, nearly sulking in fact, when I got some attention. She took it as a personal insult that somebody might like a shorter woman with brown hair. ANd it's not like we were in competition with each other. Well i wasn't in competition with HER, but she entered us both into the competition I think!! poor sad case that girl.

none of us is obliged to be pretty though. I say to my daughter, you're not obliged to be pretty you know . As she's carefully choosinng what colour nail varnish to wear on monday hmm

Punkatheart Mon 06-May-13 11:56:14

I have lost the ability to assess myself, really.

But not fishing for compliments, because you can't see me.

On the Internet - we are ALL beautiful.

mrsjay Mon 06-May-13 10:11:03

*There's one particular poster who always comes on with a link to her profile, saying she's never been confident about her looks and she's stunning.
I think some just come on to fish for compliments.*

I think you are probably right

Punkatheart Sun 05-May-13 18:55:17

You are a melted beauty, Orange?

Now I am thinking about cheese on toast, or chocolate fondue. Yum.

Guess the slim thing will go out of the window. Oh well.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sun 05-May-13 03:37:39

Everyone says I look like one of the women mentioned as beautiful on this thread! Well, really people say I look like her gone a bit wrong, like she had been slightly melted or something. I'm this close to beautiful i.e funny looking.

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 01:08:20

Yes but very few people grow up having retained their flaxen childhood locks.

CornflowerB Sun 05-May-13 01:05:45

As the brunette mother of a very blonde daughter I can confirm that blondes attract a huge amount of attention and admiration that a brunette would never ever get. It must affect your perception of yourself as a blonde. 'Oh my god she' s so blonde! Oh look at her hair! Oh she's gorgeous! oh you'd want to be careful someone will steal her confused etc etc'

CherryMeg Sun 05-May-13 00:57:23

If a woman likes her appearance does it make her less attractive?


yaimee Sun 05-May-13 00:28:41

I'm.not sure it matters whether being tall, thin and blonde makes you automatically beautiful.
The women who answer positively to a thread asking if they think they are pretty should be applauded.
We are constantly judged and judge ourselves so harshly, to be able to say 'yes I think I'm pretty' and then list some of the things that we like about ourselves is something that we should all be able to do, and feel proud to do.

goodasgold Sun 05-May-13 00:28:08

Exactly, why not be happy to be blonde/red head/brunette thin middle size or thick. With a bad nose bad ass or bad skin.

OP if the women answering are happy what is your beef? Good on them I say.

squoosh Sun 05-May-13 00:09:36

Most people are quick to point out their perceived physical failings I think it's great when they can also point out their physical highlights.

There's enough low self esteem in the world.

goodasgold Sun 05-May-13 00:07:14

I find this thread to be really bitchy.

If women are asked what makes them attractive and they answer, does it make them less attractive or less nice people?

If somebody says I like my face/arse/legs/tummy, does it make them lesser people?

If a woman likes her appearance does it make her less attractive?

Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.

clattypatty Sun 05-May-13 00:01:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

threepiecesuite Sat 04-May-13 23:51:21

I'm tall, blonde and slim and have the face like a bag of spanners to match. Lucky me.

MiniTheMinx Sat 04-May-13 23:35:33

I'm just saying that the friends I have who are blonde, seem to "know" they are pretty. I don't think they are deluded, I just think they have probably been treated differently on account of being naturally blonde. I do think there is a western cultural bias towards thinking blondes are prettier. Do I think they are twats, no. Do I think it makes them happier or more fulfilled, no, not at all.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 04-May-13 23:22:42

What a ridiculous post MiniTheMinx.

squoosh Sat 04-May-13 23:21:11

All your blonde friends? I've truly never noticed that blonde women are more aloof than brunettes. Especially since many women go from blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette.

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