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friend has deleted me from facebook and told me I'm selfish

(101 Posts)
bananaandpear Fri 03-May-13 18:44:25

My XDH and I split last year, during this time I became close to a lady who is older than me and found myself confiding in her a lot. Her DH works away, and she has no family local so she spent Christmas with me and my 2 DSs.

After I split with XH, I got a new DP, and also am applying for college courses (am on benefits at the moment but don't see this being a long term thing.)

So meanwhile friend is going through fertility treatment and we haven't really spoken for a while, I put this down to being busy and so on, but then I sent her a message on facebook yesterday cause I saw she'd updated her status saying she'd had a tough day and she only just replied.

She says she understands I've been busy but she'd been a bit hurt that I hadn't bothered asking her about her or her treatment for ages, also that I haven't contacted another friend who has cervical cancer and "she would have appreciated this a lot" that I still owed her quite a lot of money "I don't enjoy doing this but I really feel in some respects you've been a bit selfish"

Clearly having 2 young DCs and collage I am busy so AIBU?

jacks365 Fri 03-May-13 19:10:07

Samantha brick by any chance?

wigglesrock Fri 03-May-13 19:10:11

I wasn't really sure what way to land on this one until I read your last post. I'm erring on the side of you being self absorbed to be honest.

bananaandpear Fri 03-May-13 19:11:55

whos Samantha brick? No shes not called me, and it was me who texted her yesterday

HappyMummyOfOne Fri 03-May-13 19:12:40

You say you are applying for courses so not yet actually at college? Plenty of people with children, work and study still find time for other things.

You don't sound like a very good friend, friends dont ditch each other when a new partner comes on the scene.

I dount shes jealouse of your new partner or the job you "dont yet have" given she works and has a DH. Sounds like you are trying to make excuses.

Bobyan Fri 03-May-13 19:13:38

Maybe you just deserve yourself?

Tee2072 Fri 03-May-13 19:14:14

So two people have deleted you from FB due to your lack of caring?

Perhaps you should take a long look at yourself.

Fedupofdiets Fri 03-May-13 19:14:26

So your friend sticks by you and shows you lots of support and you then turn your back on her as soon as you get a new bloke. Are you for real op?? You sound like a terrible 'friend' I would have deleted you too!!

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 03-May-13 19:15:10


New boyfriend whom you love being more important than 2 friends in difficult circumstances,everybody is jealous.

You do sound self obsessed fickle and not good friend material


bananaandpear Fri 03-May-13 19:15:42

Im at college but hope to go to uni, I go to college 2 days a week, then I have 2 DCs and a boyfriend. I think she is jealous of my boyfriend as she said I got with him too soon after splitting from XH.

ladymariner Fri 03-May-13 19:17:08

You sound delightful......hope it works out with your new boyfriend as if not you're in for a very lonely time.....

loofet Fri 03-May-13 19:17:14


College and 2 DC doesn't stop you from texting/calling friends in need. You knew she was having the fertility treatment and so you should have at least messaged her to find out how it was going and how she was...

Also it doesn't matter if the friend with cancer hasn't spoken to you in a while, she was a friend to you at one point and is very sick- it's v. selfish of you not to even ask how she is.

bananaandpear Fri 03-May-13 19:17:27

Also I think she might have called social services

It just sounds like she's more mature in more ways than one.

Learn from this. Never ditch friends. When your dp/dh isn't there and your dcs leave home they're the most important people in your life.

But she could have rang too so she's a bit U as well.

As for the one with cancer am not sure what happened we'd need more information?

I have friends who I've known years who are hardly in touch. Yet when we do meet up it's great. A lot of them do tend to be in touch more in between men though hmm Luckily I'm thick skinned. And also have loyal friends who make up for it.

kotinka Fri 03-May-13 19:18:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebeastandbeauty Fri 03-May-13 19:18:34

Reverse AIBU?

JeeanieYuss Fri 03-May-13 19:19:16

grin Fakebook

You said you are applying for college, so you aren't actually at college atm, so that leaves you even more time to ask how they are!

Now you're drip feeding.

Applying for and now at?

kotinka Fri 03-May-13 19:20:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeeanieYuss Fri 03-May-13 19:21:09

Ok just seen your update about college/uni... Why didn't you put that in your op? Very conveniant!

Ashoething Fri 03-May-13 19:22:09


Booyhoo Fri 03-May-13 19:25:41

oh yawn

ChasingStaplers Fri 03-May-13 19:27:12

Sounds like you are selfish, OP.

Friends who support you both ditching you because you can't be arsed to be there for them while they go though bad times . . . You're the common denominator I'm afraid.

letseatgrandma Fri 03-May-13 19:28:46

Are you actually enrolled at college now?

Do you really think she is jealous of you because if you get accepted on a college course, then potentially get accepted on a degree course which if you then finish, you might then be able to get a really good job?!

I'd love to know what course you're doing? You don't want to be a teacher, do you? ;)

MissSG Fri 03-May-13 19:29:04

Can't be real.

If it is, look in the mirror and have a long hard think about yourself OP.

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