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To want to be informed by the nursing home when my senile mother is missing

(33 Posts)
larahusky Fri 03-May-13 17:11:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

larahusky Fri 03-May-13 17:13:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BookFairy Fri 03-May-13 17:17:55

YANBU. Very stressful for you. My grandma has dementia and is in a home. If she went missing without us being informed we would be furious. I would look on the website of the company who owns the home and write a letter of concern.

Signet2012 Fri 03-May-13 17:19:24

I would complain. I would also ask for a meeting with duty manager and social worker and yourself to relay your concerns.
I'm assuming your mother does not have capacity to manage outside and that's a serious safe guarding issue that she randomly got out.

Did they inform ss? Cqc? Where I work that would be considered a "significant event" and require reporting to the authorities.

What have they put in place to prevent it from occurring again?

Cravingdairy Fri 03-May-13 17:19:36

I think you should report this to whichever body regulates the residential care of the elderly in your area. The manager should have ensured the proper follow up was done and didn't. There are safeguarding issues here which need to be fixed for the safety of all the residents.

Sorry you are having such a rough time. flowers

magimedi Fri 03-May-13 17:25:35

YANBU at all. My mother (who had dementia) walked out of the care home in her first week there & walked back to her house (about 5 miles). I was 300 miles away & was rung straight away & kept up to speed till she was located. There was a big review of procedures after this. This was some 20+ years ago.

I would report this to the regulating body as Craving has said.

flowers for you, it is such a hard thing to be going through.

larahusky Fri 03-May-13 18:06:09

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larahusky Fri 03-May-13 18:40:12

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Signet2012 Fri 03-May-13 19:51:04

If you contact your mothers social worker or if she hasn't got one request one she will be able to advise you on other suitable care facilities.

I wouldn't want my mum to stay in this environment. Sorry you're having to deal with this

JerseySpud Fri 03-May-13 19:58:08

I would complain hun. I worked as a care assistant for several years as agency and as home staff and something like that is a serious problem. flowers to you

ghosteditor Fri 03-May-13 19:58:41

YANBU - complain formally as they need procedures to prevent it happening again and protocol if it does happen.

Casserole Fri 03-May-13 21:04:15

I would be putting formal written complaints into every body I could think of. COMPLETELY unacceptable. And if there is a social worker I would be demanding a review of her care and probably requesting a transfer.

So sorry. For her and you sad

LunaticFringe Fri 03-May-13 21:09:30

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LowLevelWhinging Fri 03-May-13 21:10:09

yes yes, please complain. Contact SS and as Signet says, consider other options with a social worker. This is not ok.

LowLevelWhinging Fri 03-May-13 21:10:51


Fleecyslippers Fri 03-May-13 21:24:22

The first step in a complaints procedure would be to address it directly to the manager again. he will then inform you of the complaints procedure and how to 'escalate' it.
It's absolutely shocking that you were not informed and the care assistant needs to be made aware that she has made a major error in the care and management of a vulnerbale person.

larahusky Fri 03-May-13 22:03:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LowLevelWhinging Fri 03-May-13 22:12:39

lara, i really agree. I work in social care and children are just so much more valued than older people aren't they? It's like people don't recognise the connection between a young person...that becomes an older person...

good for you, do your helicoptering for your mum.

Shlurpbop Fri 03-May-13 22:14:45

You are not a helicopter daughter, you are a caring concerned daughter. And you have every right to be.

I visit many care homes as part of my job. In my role I get to see what many paying family members do not - i wander in, do my job and the staff treat me as part of the furniture and there are no 'special measures' or 'fronts' put on while I am there.

Some of the homes are quite eye opening and I worry for my recently-diagnosed-with-dementia father, should the need for a home ever arise.

larahusky Fri 03-May-13 22:41:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMargoLeadbetter Fri 03-May-13 23:06:30

YANBU. It sounds very distressing for you. You sound like a great daughter.

You should complain because things are unlikely to change if people don't speak up.

I appreciate this isn't about the money and people should be treated properly whatever the fee....But your mum is paying them a lot of money, they should ensure they are delivering value for the money she pays them.

Good luck and hope things improve.

hobnobsaremyfave Fri 03-May-13 23:36:17

Contact the POVA (Protection of vulnerable adult) team at your local authority. This really is a safeguarding issue.

Newt Tue 25-Jun-13 21:31:34

Is there a site that reviews care homes honesty? My father-in-law is in one and we are also unhappy with the level of care. Considering these homes are so pricey per week, there must be some review site? We generally all look at review sites for other pricey items - phones, holiday firms etc. Please advise!

McNewPants2013 Tue 25-Jun-13 22:24:57

I would start looking at other homes, failing to notice a resident has gone missing and a head injury left untreated is shocking.

As she is self funded it wouldn't be an issue to move her.

WhirlyByrd Tue 25-Jun-13 22:37:26

You may not like this suggestion but have you thought about getting a GPS tracker? I've seen them advertised for vunerable people and it may give you some peace of mind that she could be found immediately if it happened again, especially while you look into things and decide what to do. DS has asd and when he was younger and ran off all the time we seriously considered getting it for him.

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