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To be disapointed in the human race :(

(93 Posts)
HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 09:31:53

I went to an appointment at the women's centre at the hospital yesterday. After booking in I was asked to go round to the waiting room which was packed. I'm currently 4 and a half months pregnant and have a bit of a bump. There were plenty of men in the waiting room along with lots of pregnant women. A few of the men near me looked at my bump but didn't offer me a seat. I was fine with that as im not heavily pregnant, I do faint if I stand up too long but they don't know that.

A little while later I managed to get a seat and was waiting for my name to be called. I then saw the most painfully pregnant looking woman (tiny tiny frame and a bump the size of a planet) walk in and I thought surely someone will offer this woman a seat. Nope, not one of the men stood up. As soon as I realised this I gave her mine and had a chat with her. Turns out she is two weeks from being induced with twins and had just walked to the hospital, no wonder she looked exhausted!!!

I'm really cross that not one person in the room cared enough about another human being to offer this lady a seat, it just makes me so sad sad

petitfiloser Fri 03-May-13 21:11:44


HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 21:08:17

Wiggles rock, I'm well aware I'm in the is she fat or pregnant zone but I have to say I was pretty bloated yesterday and looked bigger than usual and was wearing a snug vest top so I think i did look pregnant. However I completely get that some might not notice and so I wasn't that fussed that I didn't get offered a seat. It was the poor lady who came along after me I was outraged for smile

Growlithe Fri 03-May-13 20:56:52

Being the devil's advocate on this, I think some men in that environment feel very out of place and even embarrassed, kind of cling to their partner and avoid eye contact with anyone else, especially God forbid another pregnant woman. shock

Or they might just be ignorant sods.

SplitHeadGirl Fri 03-May-13 20:07:04

My sister when heavily pregnant at the maternity outpatients couldn't get a seat, along with a few other women. The place was packed with men and women - eventually one of the nurses came out and said 'Would one of the pregnant men mind giving up their seat?' My sis said then and only then a few of the men got up.

wigglesrock Fri 03-May-13 18:45:34

Are you sure you definitely look pregnant? Four and a half months can be a bit of a pregnant or portly question? Of course that makes no difference to the woman who came in after you but maybe you don't look as pregnant as you think grin I know I never did, I just looked like I enjoyed lots of cake.

StuntGirl Fri 03-May-13 18:35:01

Sorry binky, didn't mean to say you earlier, just got confused! A thousand apologies grin

Takver Fri 03-May-13 14:50:17

Ah, did look but failed to find it

I am safe as my phone is a museum piece grin

anklebitersmum Fri 03-May-13 14:46:19

it was a reference to an earlier comment Takver grin

Takver Fri 03-May-13 14:37:22

Sorry to be dense, but why are you not allowed to use an i-phone in A&E confused - dd has been twice with broken arms (obviously + us too!), and read a book while waiting both times, surely if she had been a few years older a phone/ipad would have been acceptable?

anklebitersmum Fri 03-May-13 14:07:05

Heffalump i-phone use is forgivable as you are not the patient. grin

boxershorts Fri 03-May-13 13:54:02

We have nothing to compare the human race so its illogical to be disappointed.

What we can say is we humans are survivors. Big time.

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 13:51:27

Sorry that bit was to takver not ubik sorry!!

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 13:50:19

Ubik - I see your point, but my issue is that it doesn't seem to occur to many people to offer without being asked. It takes quite a bit of guts to boldly ask if someone will give up their seat. I didn't feel confident enough to ask yesterday, even once i started to feel a bit wobbly. I was just grateful when someone went into their appointment and a seat became available.

Anklebitersmum - you've got it spot on. However I do play on my iPhone when waiting in a&e (my DH is v accident prone, been there a lot!) but I don't complain promise!!

anklebitersmum Fri 03-May-13 13:37:31

Oh Heffalump don't get me started...the i-phone tapping, eye rolling tutters giving it "Should be me by now innit" attitude in Accident and Emergency with a suspected splinter or a sore toe where they fell over wellied.

The clue as regards priority is in the title knobheads

I think the best example of manners under duress was the big guy who's dislocated shoulder got stuck in his ribs. Now there was a man who'd offer up his seat I'll bet.

Takver Fri 03-May-13 13:28:59

ubik - simple answer.

I think its very easy to stand and suffer & think 'society is terrible', which not only means you are uncomfortable, but also makes your life more unhappy.

In contrast thinking 'these people are distracted and not paying attention, I'll ask someone to help' generally means that you get the seat, and IMO taking that kind of attitude leads to a happier state of mind overall.

Of course, if they all then ignore you or say no, you are then quite justified in being peed off!

ubik Fri 03-May-13 13:16:45

Years ago I was sitting on the tube on the Central line when a very smartly dressed lady got in and announced to the carriage:"I am pregnant with twins and I need a seat please," and lo and behold someone got up and offered seat!

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 12:43:19

neunundneunzigluftballons - it's shocking that it needs to be said!!

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 12:41:36

Anklebitersmum, I agree. 24 hours in a&e makes me cross too. You see the nurses and doctors giving their everything to help people and barely even getting a thank you. I also hate it when people complain about waiting. I have always said if you have to wait it means you will probably be ok, it's the ones who get rushed through that you should feel sorry for. I would rather wait I think!

neunundneunzigluftballons Fri 03-May-13 12:38:28

The midwives/nurses at our clinics often put their heads out the door and said seats are for patients only (it was not just a maternity clinic) and regularly told young men to move. Personally if I was heavily pregnant I would have asked for a seat, I often did and nobody ever refused. Sometimes people just don't think.

TerrysAllGold Fri 03-May-13 12:37:56

"When me and my dad went to the FA cup semi final tubes were obvs v busy, and people could not always see the bump."

Are you sure it wasn't because you were wearing the wrong colour scarf, Binkybix? grin

I'm another of the "first to offer, last to accept" type. It's just the way I was brought up. My children are the same and have always been quick to offer an adult their seat on a full bus even when small. It's about courtesy, not gender.

HeffalumpTheFlump Fri 03-May-13 12:37:38

I think there should be some sort of campaign. Bring back manners!! I really like hearing the nice examples, but it does seem there are far too many bad ones!

JackieTheFart Fri 03-May-13 12:32:44

I remember getting on the bus, heavily pregnant with twins, and having to stand for most of the way then getting a seat. An elderly man walking with two sticks got on - and I was the only one that got up to offer him my seat.

I did say loudly something to the tune of, 'here, have my seat, as everyone else clearly has more of a need of theirs'.

(PS - he was very embarrassed but couldn't physically stand. Everyone else just looked away hmm)

anklebitersmum Fri 03-May-13 12:28:35

It really is indicative of society though, I love 24hrs A&E but I end up shouting at the telly about people's ungrateful, self important & entitled attitude almost every episode.

I may be turning into a grumpus in my middle age

Takver Fri 03-May-13 12:23:22

I've seen badges that say 'baby on board' - its a wee bit twee, but an easy way to make the point that you would be grateful for a seat / a bit of extra help, and also to make it clear you won't be offended.

I have to say my experience in general is that people in general are very ready to be helpful when I have heavy luggage / hands full etc, and that includes in London on public transport. Maybe you were just unlucky with those 30, or else they were all too focussed on their appointments etc.? Mind you, when I was pregnant & struggled to stand I would have either sat on the floor (most likely), or asked if anyone was able to give up a seat. But then I have no shame grin

Booyhoo Fri 03-May-13 12:21:33

electric sheep re-read your post. you either agree with that saying or you dont. dear.

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