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ridiculous argument

(11 Posts)
tallulahturtle Fri 03-May-13 01:18:09

I am 28 and my husband is 33. Owing to a fair bit of debt we are still living with my parents , I am not proud of the fact and can't wait to move out. We do not pay rent but we pay for weekly fish and chips and the sky (tv, telephone and broadband) bill. Yes I know not very much but we are trying to get out of debt. Bless them they are trying to help by not charging an official rent .

The house is a three bed semi detached with a garage and three sheds (shanty town) at the end of the garden.

This morning my dad mentions to me , could we move my husbands work tools out of the garage as he needs space as there is a potential issue with the boiler. So I say ," yeah no problem, he probably forget they were there anyway, we sall move them as soon as possible" . The work tools are not a massive size, just a few bis and bobs.

This evening my husband says "your dad asked me to remove my tools from the garage, and I think it's a bit harsh as there is loads of room in the garage" as we'll as saying "the garage has loads of room since the clear out and he wants to move my stuff so he can fill it with his own crap" .

I say fine that's your opinion but this is my parents house and their garage and even if there is room in the garage, that is not the point and we can easily move the tools to our shed (at the end of the garden) . He then says " fine , is your dad you are going to agree with him of course".

I then think hang on a second, and remember a time when his mum phoned us up to remove our stuff from their loft that we had been storing. So I mention this by way of giving an example of he situation from his family, and he flys off the handle and starts shouting that I'm trying to keep him awake by talking at him.
Bloody convient falling asleep as soon as you have given your side of the argument ! I should be so lucky that i fall asleep so quickly!

Anyway if you lot haven't fallen asleep at this ridiculous argument, could I have a sane opinion if poss?

MrsWolowitz Fri 03-May-13 01:23:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Numberlock Fri 03-May-13 01:27:10

Sounds like you're both understandably feeling the stress of living with parents. How long till you'll be able to move out? Have you ever had your own place as a married couple?

Aniseeda Fri 03-May-13 01:31:52

I can see both sides, but the fact is, it is your parents house so, if your Dad wants the tools moved, then they get moved.

I'd probably be a bit peeved if I were your DH and it seemed there was no real need to move them, but I'd move them anyway and look forward to the time I had my own place and could store my tools where I liked!

tallulahturtle Fri 03-May-13 01:33:17

It will be a while , as we are just starting to be able to save after paying off a loan. Still got another loan but its manageable so we will be able to save alongside it.

Haven't had our own place at all yet. Owing to debt, massively exacerbated by periods of unemployment. Although I now have a job that is secure (I hope !!) although his job in construction is never secure.

tallulahturtle Fri 03-May-13 01:38:37

I'm just grateful to my parents that they haven't forced us to move out and rent , like so many friends I know. They want us to be able to save and get a place we can call our own and I am indebted to them for that. So if my DH acts like he is entitled to put his tools etc where he likes , it makes me feel like he is not being appreciative of my parents.

ivanapoo Fri 03-May-13 04:48:05

Yes you're right he is acting v entitled and you are both indebted. Does he pull his weight around the house eg cleaning, housework, gardening, DIY?

Your DH was being a wally. Having said that, I'd be a wally too if I had to live with the in laws! ;)

MidniteScribbler Fri 03-May-13 05:03:25

The correct response from him should have been "oh, gosh, yes, I'm so sorry to have taken up all your space for all this time while you've been giving me free room and board to pay off all of the debts we've run up. I'll move them immediately."

fluffyraggies Fri 03-May-13 07:18:46

I agree with all the above saying he is probably stressed and fed up at having to lodge with your parents. You are too, no doubt. I would bet this is where this all stems from - not that he's an ignorant bloke.

Perhaps spend time with him confirming your plans to move out. The time line for paying off the debt, etc. Make it feel less like this situation is going to go on forever.

(My mum is a bugger for offering to store stuff in one of her many huge empty outhouses/garages, and then after a few weeks start asking for it to be moved/rearranged for pointless or ridiculous reasons. Got to the point where we would rather keep stuff at ours and be cramped, than store it at hers and keep getting these silly comments about moving it around. WTF is that all about?).

MidniteScribbler Fri 03-May-13 09:27:09

(My mum is a bugger for offering to store stuff in one of her many huge empty outhouses/garages, and then after a few weeks start asking for it to be moved/rearranged for pointless or ridiculous reasons. Got to the point where we would rather keep stuff at ours and be cramped, than store it at hers and keep getting these silly comments about moving it around. WTF is that all about?).

Did you ever think of just cleaning it out and getting rid of crap you no longer need? I'll never understand why people have garages full of junk they don't use and leave their expensive cars on the street.

fluffyraggies Fri 03-May-13 11:46:33

midnight it's not crap though. It's furniture. Stuff that cost either me or DH a fair bit of money before we were together and that wont fit into our house at the moment. We're saving to move.

My mother offers to store these things as she has a humungous house with a humungous empty garage as she doesn't drive. Plus 4 large sheds.

Oh - and my expensive car is in our garage which is why we have no room for our furniture to be stored in there.

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