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Trouble with the neighbours :(

(14 Posts)
Sparklymommy Thu 02-May-13 21:24:32

Ok, where to start? We live in a mid terrace house which has been the family home for 24 years. There are eight of us currently living here, my mum and her husband, myself and my husband and our four children. On one side we have a family with two boys and on the other side a man who until recently had been living alone since his wife left him about three years ago.

A couple of summers ago he complained about my children playing in the back garden with a musical scooter that played a very repetitive crazy frog tune. I hadn't personally noticed it as a problem but obligingly removed the batteries.

Recently he has moved a girlfriend in with him and they have been playing music late at night, four or five nights a week that shakes the whole house and has had my young son up on a few occasions. Last night my dh went round to try and ask them to turn if down and it was so loud they didn't hear him at the door! He caught the woman as she was walking her dog this morning and asked her to keep it down at night as we have small children.

This evening she turned up on our doorstep and said that our arguments and noise are just as annoying and we'll just have to deal with it. Now I accept that with four children, and four adults during the day it can be a bit loud. I have a pubescent daughter so we get the tantrums and door slamming but this is all before bedtime and we have never had complaints from the other neighbours. She also said that due to one of our fence panels between us and other neighbours being down they keep getting dogs from several doors up in their garden and could we fix it. We had already done so but this riled me as her dog is forever in our garden and one of my children is terrified of dogs! She was very argumentative and basically told me that we would have to like it or lump it.

Now I am currently unwell, suffering with kidney disease and could have done without the attitude at tea time! An I being unreasonable? We are talking thumping bass at all hours that literally shakes the house. 3:30am the other day my mum noted it. We were trying to sort it amicably but she really upset me so if it happens again do I just ring the police? She was making out like we row all the time, we don't. No more than any family. So stressed right now as I feel that this is just going to make things worse.

quoteunquote Thu 02-May-13 22:02:06

Fix the fence, sit the family down,get everyone to agree to be considerate,

let your neighbours know you will make an effort,and hopefully they will be equally considerate,

If not, ring 101 for advice.

narmada Thu 02-May-13 22:58:47

I wouldn't deal with her, I would speak to the chap who owns the house and who you've mostly (?) coexisted peacefully all this time, save for the crazy frog incident.

You're not being unreasonable but I would do everything possible to avoid a neighbour dispute. A friend is currently going through one of these and it's horrible.

jacks365 Thu 02-May-13 23:03:31

Excess noise is not a police issue but council. I'd contact them sooner rather than later 3 am is a stupid time to be playing music.

maddening Thu 02-May-13 23:05:54

Environmental health.

In the meantime you have to be the model neighbour where you can.

I would fix the fence - keeps their dog out as much as resolves that issue.

All you can do is be mindful but you are entitled to make normal living noise (although if you have a door slamming teen I think you can get dampeners as that is a sharp noise that will travel).

Once you have contacted EH keep a noise diary. EH will guide you from there.

maddening Thu 02-May-13 23:07:42

Ps I only suggest EH as you have approached them already and they are hostile. First thing is always to try and deal with it amiciably

Sparklymommy Fri 03-May-13 09:02:10

Thank you everyone. As I said we did fix the fence, properly I might add!

CelticPixie Fri 03-May-13 09:24:49

It never ceases to amaze me how really noisy people are usually the first to complain when others slam a door or something really minor like that. Tell her that if the loud music continues you'll report her to environmental health, you've tried the nice approach and she got defensive and refused to to stop so its time to get tough. Loud music late at night is NOT acceptable and cannot be compared to normal family noise like children playing etc.

SanitaryOwl Fri 03-May-13 11:28:52

Every time they play loud music, call the Environmental Health department of your council, and let them deal with it. It's what they are there for.

Callisto Fri 03-May-13 12:13:54

Eight people in a mid-terrace shock. Do all four children have to share a room?

You may well be very U with the amount of noise you generate. If you can tune out the Crazy Frog tune then I wonder how much else you tune out. Also, the fence is your responsibility so is irrelevant to the noise issue.

Perhaps your neighbours are playing music really loudly because they are so fed up with the amount of noise you generate?

fedupwithdeployment Fri 03-May-13 12:16:19

EH were brilliant when I had a noisy and aggressive neighbour. good luck OP.

cuteboots Fri 03-May-13 13:23:43

I really feel for you on this one . I had a similar issue with loud music and my new neighbours . EH were about to get involved and its gone very quiet..Hope you sort this out

Sparklymommy Fri 03-May-13 13:23:46

castillo we have four bedrooms so my two boys share a room, my two girls share a room and each couple has a room. We have never had complaints from the other side, and in fact when we have said "sorry about the noise" they have said they don't hear us!

With respect the fence is the fence between us and the other side and collapses every winter sad we do always fix it as soon as the bad weather finishes otherwise it just collapses again. The fence between us and the neighbours we have the issue with also must have a whole as her dog keeps coming in our garden and that is their responsibility but that clearly isn't a problem for her! As I said in opening post, we fixed our fence.

Sparklymommy Fri 03-May-13 13:24:53

And we do not generate ANY noise at 3am!!! Except perhaps light snores!

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