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To expect as a potential customer to be addressed as Ms/Mrs?

(90 Posts)
DribbleWiper Thu 02-May-13 10:34:45

Two return emails this week, one from a cleaning company and one from a potential nursery, have begun with 'Hi Dribble', rather than 'Ms/Mrs Wiper'. Surely it's still appropriate and courteous for companies to address their customers by some sort of title until invited to do otherwise?

AIBU to feel rubbed up slightly the wrong way?

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 02-May-13 10:36:28

YANBU it's polite. But you're going to get LOADS of people on here smarting that some company or other had the AFFRONTERY to address them as Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss anything. How very DARE they make an issue of their marital status and gender... blah blah blah. smile

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 10:38:52

I would hate to get a letter or email like that saying Hi Jay I know it seems petty but yanbu dh was getting emails from a holiday company using his first name, saying not long to your holiday now X are you excited yet I was meh about the informality of it,

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 02-May-13 10:39:58

YABU. I'd rather they address me as Hi Dribble. Everyone keeps calling me Mrs Terror, and I found it very very offensive.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 02-May-13 10:40:33

But then I'm kiwi so I'm fairly informal.

DeafLeopard Thu 02-May-13 10:45:41

Seems to be that e-mails are treated more informally and addressed "Hi First Name" whereas letters are "Dear Ms Last Name"

DribbleWiper Thu 02-May-13 10:46:04

OneLittle, are you offended because of the 'Mrs' or because any title is used at all? Why 'very, very offensive'?

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 10:47:19

I suppose you are right deaf but we had print off stuff to take with us it is al a bit faux friendly imo god how uptight am I grin

Jaskla Thu 02-May-13 10:47:43

When I go to the hospital I see doctors calling in older patients as Mr or Mrs whoever, and the younger ones seem to get their name without a title.

I think the preference must be a generational thing as I am 26 and would prefer not to be Miss or Ms, whereas my Grandma would always refer to herself as Mrs .... when making appointments etc. on the phone.

Steffanoid Thu 02-May-13 10:48:44

where I work we say dear Mr/Mrs if we dont know for a female we use Ms, if we dont know a gender we use dear customer, and on the phone we have to use last names unless otherwise invited, if we do not we would get disciplined as all of our emails are checked and all calls recorded

MaxPepsi Thu 02-May-13 10:48:44

What did you sign yourself off as? Mrs/Ms Wiper or as Dribble?

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 02-May-13 10:49:21

It's the Mrs I take great offence on. They always use Mrs. Just because I'm over a certain age it doesn't mean I must be married. Can't I have enough money to buy my own car, hire my trades people etc? For example, even when I put down Dr on the National Trust form, they have to switch it to Mrs for me, and change it to Dr for my DH. Mrs is a thin veil for insult basically, IMHO.

I'd rather be just my name without title, or Ms. I'm a Dr if they want to address me correctly. But I prefer first name only.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 02-May-13 10:50:02

jaskla yes, I get called Mrs in the hospital too, just because I'm over 30.

KellyElly Thu 02-May-13 10:50:09

I think it's pretty old fashioned in an email. If my bank was writing a letter to me then yes. But then I would never sign off an email Ms xxxxxx, I would just sign off with my first name and expect the reply to be to that name. How old are you? Maybe it's an age thing.

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 10:51:15

I am quite old kelly grin

DribbleWiper Thu 02-May-13 10:51:35

Via email, they have no idea how old I am (30), so it should be a blanket practice to at least use a title initially, no? I'd almost certainly sign off subsequent replies using only my first name, but that's the point - then the invitation is given to use it.

Don't see why emails should be different to letters - I'm still a potential customer, not their pal.

Weegiemum Thu 02-May-13 10:52:43

I expect a certain degree of reciprocity in names.

My hospital consultant calls me "weegie" but introduces himself as "Dr O". I'm not having any of this, so I call him by his first name too. I can tell he doesn't like it much but too bad. I'm a professional in my field as much as he is - so either we both use titles or neither do. I get even more riled by junior docs much younger than me doing this!

DribbleWiper Thu 02-May-13 10:54:26

Both names, Max Pepsi. My first name is unconfusably feminine.

Conversely, OneLittle, I hate Ms, but wouldn't be offended by its use unless I knew the person knew I was married.

DribbleWiper Thu 02-May-13 10:55:06

I like it, Weegie! Quite right!

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 02-May-13 10:57:37

dribble many people who use it know I'm married and they know I don't have my husband's name. I have a chinese surname and my husband is white. They have to be blind to not see it's my own name. I was in the hospital 2 weeks ago, and they keep calling me Mrs <my name> even in front of my husband.

On the other hand, I'm not offended if DD's nursery called me Mrs <DH name>. They don't know any other name to address me isn't it?

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 02-May-13 10:58:22

Actually they don't know he's my husband in the hospital. He could be my partner. But the fact is it's clear it's my own name.

MaxPepsi Thu 02-May-13 10:59:09

Did you use a title then Dribble or just Dribble Wiper?

If I'd put Mrs Max Pepsi I'd expect the response to be addressed Mrs Pepsi. If I'd just put Max Pepsi I'd expect the response to be Max

I use both on emails, depending on who or for what I am emailing which doesn't really help smile

DribbleWiper Thu 02-May-13 11:00:26

Did you correct the people in hospital, OneLittle? I'd have found that most irritating too!

DribbleWiper Thu 02-May-13 11:02:02

I put Mrs in brackets after my name, MaxPepsi! They clearly didn't take the hint. Not sure why they thought I'd included it...!

StealthOfficialCrispTester Thu 02-May-13 11:12:37

I have workmen fitting a new bathroom. They call me "Mrs PolarBear" and I hate it, but I don't know how to say "Call me Stealth" without sounding like Lady Muck.
Yes, I have a problem with social niceties. It's the same at DS's school, although I can see for them, knowing the child it is easier to assume that we are Mr and Mrs <ChildsName> - which we are but I always find it too formal.

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