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To think if you're behind a funeral you turn the music off in your car?

(200 Posts)
freddiemisagreatshag Thu 02-May-13 09:38:41

On the way to work this morning. Behind a funeral. Loads of people walking behind a hearse.

The bucko in front of me had loud thumps music blaring.

AIBU to think he/she should have turned it off?

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 09:40:45

oh god that is horrible and so disrespectful , no YANBU . I was once in a car behind a herse and somebody cut the hearse up at a junction shock why would anybody do that is their lives so important that they cant wait a few minutes

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 09:41:35

wasn't the hearse it was the family car IYSWIM we were a few cars behind with open mouths and dh saying some choice words about the idiot who did it

ivanapoo Thu 02-May-13 09:41:56

They probably should have yes but it probably didn't occur to them. Driving can send people into a little bubble, I hope if they had realised what was going on and that people could hear their music it would have been turned down.

Poledra Thu 02-May-13 09:44:09

Yes, of course they should. Have people no consideration for others? I was cycling with the DDs the other weekend when a funeral cortege came up behind. I stopped the girls and pulled the bikes up onto the pavement so that all of the cortege could get past us without waiting for a gap in the traffic (and no, we weren't cycling on the pavement, just waiting there till the cortege went past).

whattodoo Thu 02-May-13 09:44:39

YANBU! I always turn radio off if following or even driving the other way.
Very disrespectful not to.

DeepRedBetty Thu 02-May-13 09:44:51

Yanbu. I've done this before now, especially in warm weather when my windows are open. I don't think mourners really want to hear Ken Bruce doing Popmaster!

LeaveTheBastid Thu 02-May-13 09:45:06

YANBU to think he should have, no. They aren't hard to spot, and if you cant show some respect for a minute of your day then its a sad world. Me and DH went to a good friends funeral a couple of years ago and were following the procession in our car, it was obvious who was following it as we all kept close and slow in the same lane etc, and the amount of absolute dickheads who cut in was unbelievable. At one point he shouted out to one bloke trying to edge in front of us that it was a procession and to have some respect and the bloke shouted back "ain't my funeral mate" shock shocking.

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 09:45:58

I can remember as little girl people used to stop in the street if a funeral past them and then be on their way afterwards I havn't seen anybody do that in years

mrsjay Thu 02-May-13 09:47:05

the bloke shouted back "ain't my funeral mate" shocking.

what the hell is wrong with people so bloody selfish

1Catherine1 Thu 02-May-13 09:47:15

Hmm, I think YABU. I mean, there is never an excuse to expose everybody to your music - playing it that loud that everyone around has to hear it is simply rude anyway. On the other hand, I play my music at a reasonable level so I can enjoy it and don't feel the need to turn it off if I happen to get stuck behind a hearse.

I do however, think it is incredibly rude to plan a funeral during rush hour, I mean, the dead person is hardly going to mind if they have their funeral at 9am or 10:30am.

harleyd Thu 02-May-13 09:47:45

some people have been dragged up and have no respect for others

CockyFox Thu 02-May-13 09:47:53

I was always told if walking you should stop whilst a funeral passes. I make the DCs do this I also close the curtains on the day of a neighbours funeral. I sometimes feel I am the only one that does it.
So of course a driver should turn of their stereo.

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 02-May-13 09:49:34

I was quite shocked. I would always be mega respectful to a funeral and I could hear the music in my car with the windows up

SillyTilly123 Thu 02-May-13 09:49:49

When my mam died 2 years ago we were in the family car with the hearse in front waiting at a junction and someone crossed the road in between the cars. (we'd only just got there so not like he had to wait ages) It will always stick in my mind that!

A few months back i took my nan to her SIL's funeral (i coudnt go in as had dd3) and waited outside for her. I made sure the music was not so loud as to be able to hear it outside, and i was messing on my tablet but keeping it out of sight of mourners. Its just common decency.

cozietoesie Thu 02-May-13 09:50:02


I remember at my grandmother's funeral, all the neighbours (those who weren't coming to the actual funeral) came out of their houses to the street and stood in front of their gates as the hearse went by. i haven't seen that since.

CockyFox Thu 02-May-13 09:50:10

Cross post MrsJay. I do that and so do my DCs. We live very close to the cemetery (a few minutes walk) so it is often a couple of times a day.

GOLDENLiquidAngel Thu 02-May-13 09:51:53

I didn't know about stopping when a hearse drives past. I used to carry on walking but bow my head as it passed. I will stop in future. I also think the driver should have turned the stereo down at least

Tailtwister Thu 02-May-13 09:51:58

YANBU, how disrespectful of him. Some people have no awareness of other people and seem to sit in their own selfish little bubbles. What a twat!

DeepRedBetty Thu 02-May-13 09:52:46

Sadly getting a funeral time is not just a matter of choosing something to suit you and the rest of the family. Our nearby crematorium is not really big enough for the population it serves, and the next nearest is well over an hour's drive, so when DBro died we had the choice of waiting for over three weeks (which our mum couldn't face) or 9 a.m in six day's time.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Thu 02-May-13 09:52:54

YANBU. What a thoughtless person.

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 02-May-13 09:53:02

I was made to stop as a wee girl and I remember being out with my grandpa and he bowed his head and too his bunnet off.

Thumbtack Thu 02-May-13 09:53:05

YANBU. There is an unwritten rule in all societies, to respect the deceased, I am bewildered at behaviour that doesnt understand this.

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 02-May-13 09:53:35

Took his bunnet off

StuntGirl Thu 02-May-13 09:54:58

Yy harleyd

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