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My only child's auntie will not be attending his first birthday party.

(112 Posts)
Lurksome Wed 01-May-13 13:55:05

May I have a small rant please?

The only relative on my husband's side of the family that COULD make my son's FIRST bday party is not coming. This is my husband's sister, and only sibling. She has just told me she has decided to go away with her husband in the UK for the long weekend instead. She sends her apologies about the party. They go away about six times a year; no children by choice. We asked them to be God parents when my son was born but nothing is official. Now I am reconsidering that proposition! Fuming mad I am! angry

SoupDragon Wed 01-May-13 13:56:27

When I was childfree, I would have preferred to go away with my partner rather than attend a first birthday party.

LifeofPo Wed 01-May-13 13:57:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StephaniePowers Wed 01-May-13 13:58:29

I think in fairness, first birthday's of children aren't that interesting to those without children (sorry) and I have heard my own child's grandparents moaning at having to go to their other grandchildren's first birthdays: they see it as on a par with having to sit through a particularly noisy playgroup.
If you've ever been to a children's birthday party as a childless person, you'll know what I mean smile

raspberryroop Wed 01-May-13 13:58:31

Fuming over the top is what you are ;P

whois Wed 01-May-13 13:58:45

What. The. Fuck.

Op calm down. The child is yours, the party is yours. Aunty not too interested which is fair enough. I would totally count a weekend away as more important than my niece's birthday party where she won't even remember who was there!

Crinkle77 Wed 01-May-13 13:58:46

Sorry I understand your disappointment but your daughter won't know her auntie is not there. If it is the bank holiday weekend and the weather is going to be nice i can understand why she might prefer to go away

BunnyLebowski Wed 01-May-13 13:58:46

You are massively overreacting.

It's just a birthday party for a baby who isn't even old enough to appreciate the significance of the day. I'm with the auntie <shrugs>.

Hassled Wed 01-May-13 13:58:57

I really think you need to stop fuming. First birthday parties are really important for parents and pretty much nobody else. It doesn't mean she doesn't care - it just means she'd rather go away with her husband, which is fair enough.

Abra1d Wed 01-May-13 13:59:12

I wouldn't want to go to a one-year old's party. The baby won't know or care.

ArthurCucumber Wed 01-May-13 13:59:23

Is it a new thing, having big first birthday parties? Surely at that age it's more for the parents as the child doesn't know it's his birthday.

Your son isn't getting married. Not going to his party has nothing to do with whether his auntie loves him or is interested in him. It just doesn't mean as much to her as it does to you, and this is surely as it should be.

TattyDevine Wed 01-May-13 13:59:24

You are over-reacting. And being unreasonable.

cherrybakewall Wed 01-May-13 13:59:33

Your child is ONE. He won't notice, care or remember. Just because your life now revolves around your child does not mean that everyone else's has to, and I say that as a parent of 4 ( who would kill to have a weekend away with my just my DH). Grow up.

LittleBearPad Wed 01-May-13 13:59:47

It really doesn't matter that much. You, your DP and your DC will be there. That's the important thing.

PlasticLentilWeaver Wed 01-May-13 13:59:52

None of my siblings or DHs only one have ever been to one of our childrens' birthday parties. Nor I to theirs.

They're childfree by choice, therefore choosing not to be around children seems quite normal to me.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 01-May-13 13:59:58

It's a birthday party for a baby.

Do you really think that her attendance at an event that will make absolutely no difference whatsoever to your child is really an indication of how much she cares about him?

It's important to you, but it's not to anyone else, including the child. People who don't have children can easily underestimate how much these events mean to first time parents. You would be doing your child the disservice if you allowed something this trivial to upset you, or to damage the relationship Auntie and Nephew could have.

HazelnutinCaramel Wed 01-May-13 13:59:59

You're being silly. A one-year-old will not notice she's not there. They don't even know what a birthday is.

Not everyone is as interested in your child as you are. Doesn't mean she doesn't love or care about him.

freddiemisagreatshag Wed 01-May-13 14:00:03

What everyone else said. Your baby's 1st birthday matters to you. It doesn't even matter to the baby. In the nicest possible way, unclench.

LittleBearPad Wed 01-May-13 14:00:21

It really doesn't matter that much. You, your DP and your DC will be there. That's the important thing.

cherrybakewall Wed 01-May-13 14:01:29

And shouldn't your choice of godparents be based on the individuals' Christian values rather than whether or not they came to a birthday party?

quietlysuggests Wed 01-May-13 14:02:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cherrybakewall Wed 01-May-13 14:02:25

Personally I would be relieved NOT to be your DS's godparent if it meant that I had to live my life around him from now on.

Pigsmummy Wed 01-May-13 14:02:32

I don't go to my nephew or nieces Birthday parties.

RustyBear Wed 01-May-13 14:02:34

I really can't remember whether my sister was at my DS's first birthday party. I know she wasn't at DD's because we didn't have one. And I also can't remember whether I went to a birthday party for either of my two nephews. I know it seems important to you now, but I'm sure she'll be around for other occasions, ones that your DS will remember.

MrsDeVere Wed 01-May-13 14:04:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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