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To not want to pay £15 to go to a party?

(119 Posts)
Clandy Wed 01-May-13 11:26:13

Friend is having a christening for her little girl in August, on the invite she has asked for £15 ASAP per couple to pay for the food. She has also said no drinks are included so bring your own. Aibu to be annoyed at this? My thoughts are if its a BBQ and she can't afford food, why not ask people to bring a few things but £15 is a lot esp if there is no drinks and its at her house so she isn't paying out for an expensive venue. Also if you can't afford a big party... Don't have one. We couldn't afford to so we didn't have a christening party. I am cross and don't really want to go

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 02-May-13 14:51:52

Only the Paypal details will be in rhyming form.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 02-May-13 14:51:23

I've got a horrible feeling weddings will go this way in the not too distant future.

WandaDoff Thu 02-May-13 13:48:20

What a materialistic arsehole.

She wouldn't be getting any money from me, & she'd be told what a grasping cunt she is as well hmm

Manchesterhistorygirl Thu 02-May-13 13:47:50

You are not being unreasonable!

It's beyond rude.

Dh and I were invited to a big birthday last year and asked to bring food, drink, chair to sit in each and a present!

This was shortly after a birthday party for the dc where we were also asked to bring food, drink and present, but no chair be sue we cold sit outside n the wall!

Same family obviously. Have you ever heard the like?

maddening Thu 02-May-13 13:40:02

Take your own butties and a can of pop smile

cafebistro Thu 02-May-13 11:23:45

Emsmaman - that happened to me too it was NYE of the millennium! Your party wasn't in Liverpool was it?? wink

Acandlelitshadow Thu 02-May-13 11:21:05

Cheeky mare shock

Go but take your own picnic grin

whistleahappytune Thu 02-May-13 11:18:06

Bloody outrageous, and totally antithetical to the idea of a christening, which is about welcoming a new life to the community. This is a terrible start to give a baby!

I can see asking perhaps for people to bring a dish of something or even a bottle, but cash? Rude, rude and beyond rude.

melika Thu 02-May-13 11:15:29

OMG what is the world coming to?

I have had at least 2 parties a year, all get fed and watered. Some bring drinks because it's something they like specifically.

But to charge, sorry I wouldn't go.

ENormaSnob Thu 02-May-13 11:08:22

I have just thought of the perfect gift.

A customised tee shirt saying 'baptised in 2013, sponsored by clandy and co'

expatinscotland Thu 02-May-13 09:28:29

Behind every grabby pisstaker, Clandy, stands a mug. You pay this gal £15, that mug is you.

QuintessentialOHara Thu 02-May-13 09:23:02

Yanbu. If she is religious, she will Christen her dd without a party, as Christenings are not about parties, but a religious ceremony.

She is rude and lacking manners. Using her baby to get people to sponsor a party. hmm

raisah Thu 02-May-13 09:19:58

i meant nice food from m&s and waitrose not tescos and waitrose!

raisah Thu 02-May-13 09:18:33

Really bad mannered, grabby d & cheeky. Is she going to use the money to get nice food from Tescos / Waitrose or Lidl/ Tesco value & pocket the cash? It looks like a scheme to make a bit of money & get people to pay for a party.

The host should provide food & drink, if she cant afford it then she shouldnt have the party. I suppise she wants you to buy her dd a gift? I cant stand this sense of entitlement that people have. They want everything and dont want to save money for it but expect others to pick up the bill.

She could have asked for people to bring a dish & thats perfectly acceptable. To ask for cash contributions to fund her own party is really ill mannered. I feel the same way about couples who ask guests to pay for their own meals at wedding receptions.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Thu 02-May-13 09:02:46

OP-I like that idea! say "My gift cost £15 so you can just take that off my bill". smile

MusicalEndorphins Thu 02-May-13 07:10:38

That is very strange of your friend, do you know her well enough to ask her why she feels the need to throw a party beyond her means?
Since you don't want to go now, don't. Tell her you will be at the church for the baptism but have plans for afterwards. (If she mentions you didn't have plans before say you forgot)

Laquitar Wed 01-May-13 23:18:15

You can pop into my house tomorrow for a cup of tea. That will be £2.50 per head.

Playdate? Thats £10 per head. (pasta prices gone up)

Come to watch my holiday photos. Thats £7 per head.

What else next?

expatinscotland Wed 01-May-13 22:43:53

Oh, Clandy, get real! She's a complete pisstaker! Don't pay £15 to line her pockets.

Go to the church service, leave a present and check out.

Anyone who does this isn't a mate.

olivertheoctopus Wed 01-May-13 22:15:14

Wow, that's rude. I'd be tempted to offer to take something tangible like a salad or a cake rather than cold hard cash.

Clandy Wed 01-May-13 22:06:45

I might ask her in advance for a contribution towards my gift....

AnnaRack Wed 01-May-13 21:30:51

Bet they have a baby gift list too. Shocking

Shenanagins Wed 01-May-13 21:05:11

Better check there is no corkage charge as well!

GreenEggsAndNichts Wed 01-May-13 20:48:00

OP will end up paying and going. smile Especially if, as she says, the woman and her DD are good friends of hers.

But yes, it's very rude. I'm not above asking for people to bring a dish, but even then that's usual for a casual BBQ. Celebrating something like a christening would be an occasion to host the whole thing yourself, and just tell adults if they want real drink they'll need to bring it. etc.

thermalsinapril Wed 01-May-13 20:00:34

YANBU. Parties are about providing hospitality to your guests. You provide for your guests when it's your party, and others provide for you when you attend theirs. You certainly don't go to other people's parties and consume the free food/drink and then expect them to pay to attend yours! Agree with Horrace that it might be best just to go to the service and then leave. If she doesn't have the funds for a party, why isn't she just doing tea and cake at the back of the church?

SauvignonBlanche Wed 01-May-13 19:57:39

WTF? shock
Are they joking?

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