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To not want to pay £15 to go to a party?

(119 Posts)
Clandy Wed 01-May-13 11:26:13

Friend is having a christening for her little girl in August, on the invite she has asked for £15 ASAP per couple to pay for the food. She has also said no drinks are included so bring your own. Aibu to be annoyed at this? My thoughts are if its a BBQ and she can't afford food, why not ask people to bring a few things but £15 is a lot esp if there is no drinks and its at her house so she isn't paying out for an expensive venue. Also if you can't afford a big party... Don't have one. We couldn't afford to so we didn't have a christening party. I am cross and don't really want to go

dexter73 Wed 01-May-13 11:28:04

Don't go then - it isn't compulsory!

aldiwhore Wed 01-May-13 11:28:15


I've thrown parties on little or no budget, but I would never ask for money, I'd ask for a plate of something specific and bring your own booze.

£15 per head is a lot of ask, and in my opinion bloody cheeky.

HorraceTheOtter Wed 01-May-13 11:28:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grograg Wed 01-May-13 11:29:29

YANBU that's very rud and grabby. I would have to say something.

Yonihadtoask Wed 01-May-13 11:30:23


That is totally cheeky.

If she is so skint -then the way to do it would be to ask guests to each bring a dish - someone brings sandwiches, someone else brings pasta salad etc. A bit of a pot luck event.

She will make a profit surely at £15 per head??

BuntyCollocks Wed 01-May-13 11:32:03

YANBU. She should be paying for her guests! My dd is christened next week, and we've hired a venue and are providing a buffet and cake. I can't believe her cheek!

Fecklessdizzy Wed 01-May-13 11:32:04

I've been to lots of do's where everyone brought food/booze but this sounds well strange! I'd go to the church bit then bunk off ...

pigletmania Wed 01-May-13 11:32:04

My goodness now I have heard it all. At this rate the woman will not have anyone coming. This is the hight f rudeness. I just would not go, if you do leave afterwards

freddiefrog Wed 01-May-13 11:36:57

I wouldn't go either. I'd just go to the church part and leave after that

We've done a few big parties at home. We just borrowed a big BBQ from our local scout group, laid on some sausages and burgers from cash and carry and everyone bought anything else they fancied and booze. I wouldn't start charging people

thestringcheesemassacre Wed 01-May-13 11:38:00

God that is so tight. I wouldn't go.

Clandy Wed 01-May-13 11:38:56

Buntycollocks can I come to yours instead? grin Hadn't thought ongoing tithe church then leaving for some reason! I appreciate I can just not go but needed to check if this was a "done thing" I was unaware of down right cheeky (hunts down cheeky things people have done thread)

flowery Wed 01-May-13 11:39:20

Don't go, that's very cheeky. As you say, if you can't afford a party, don't have one, have a smaller one, or possibly ask people to bring a dish.

BuntyCollocks Wed 01-May-13 11:42:30

Course you can, clandy! Our numbers are at ridiculous proportions now, so a few more heads wont make a difference - she's a loved little lady baby!

StanleyLambchop Wed 01-May-13 11:43:44

How is she going to collect the money? I have visions of her standing at the doors of the church not letting you in until you have paid! You could always make a donation to charity or the church, and innocently tell her that when she asks for the money ' Oh I put it in the charity collection box in the church- I thought that was what it was for. I did not realise it was going to you personally' Then smile sweetly!

Groovee Wed 01-May-13 11:45:23

I think it's rude and cheeky. When we were in 6th year at school one girl's mum and dad wouldn't pay for her to have an 18th. So she booked a venue and charged people to go. I refused. My friend booked her 18th and asked for a donation for £1 for the charity she did voluntary work for. We were all happy for that. But £15 per couple is a lot to some people and if you can't afford something, then you shouldn't offer it.

DeskPlanner Wed 01-May-13 11:47:46

That's awful. How rude. I wouldn't be going, and I would tell her why.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 01-May-13 11:47:59

What a tight git. I wouldn't go. If you can't afford a great big party don't have one, just add someone to bring food as people have suggested.

It's just trying to have a party on the cheap. Like those cheap twats who want to have a big wedding with 6 bridesmaids, so get the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses etc.

janey223 Wed 01-May-13 11:48:58

That is SO cheeky !!! No way a BBQ will cost anywhere near that if no booze!

I had my DS's christening last year and it would never have crossed my mind to ask people for money for their food even though I was absolutely broke.

thompson369 Wed 01-May-13 11:55:27

I'm also organising my DD's Christening and wouldn't dream of asking people to pay to come as if it is some sort of ticketed event! We aren't rolling in it at all so I've booked a local pub which has a large field out the back, we've invited good friends and family and are having the cheap and cheerful buffet - and going to the £ shop for loads of ball games to keep the kids occupied (praying for a nice day!)
Some people do seen to live on another planet when it comes to this sort of thing.
I'd go to the church and then bail out!

freddiefrog Wed 01-May-13 11:57:36

Actually I've seen these £x per head events end very badly

There was about 50 of us all in so we talked about hiring our village hall, getting food in and booze.

We all agreed a sum of £50 per couple and one friend insisted on taking over the organisation of the whole thing, refusing all offers of help and ignoring all suggestions

The food was Iceland party stuff and not much of it, and the booze (beer and wine so not expensive bottles of spirits) that no one was drinking excessive amounts of ran out at 10pm. We knew the village hall hire was £100 and music was all our own stuff played through another friend's laptop, so none of us could imagine how she'd spent over a grand on it and everyone felt ripped off and it all went a bit sour

Clandy Wed 01-May-13 11:57:42

Thanks buntycollocks grin have a fab day.

She wants the money as soon as possible to be sent via PayPal. There is about 16 couples going so that's £180 for food alone. Best be Michelin starred. wink

QueenStromba Wed 01-May-13 12:00:16

Unless she's serving everyone fillet steak she'd be making a profit on that. Hight of rudeness.

ChocsAwayInMyGob Wed 01-May-13 12:03:29

Unbelievable. She sent Paypal details in the invites?

I'm lost for words.

YANBU by the way.

choceyes Wed 01-May-13 12:05:28

wow!! you are sooo NBU!! I've never heard of anybody charging for a party before.
Do you have to cover paypal fees too smile

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