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To be fed up with the notion 'one of each' kids is always the preference?

(111 Posts)
Bellini12 Wed 01-May-13 10:41:37

A good friend of mine is pregnant & has just announced (in true FB fashion with photos and guessing games) that her 2nd baby will be a boy (she currently has a DD). I'm so happy that they are going to be parents again. I'm just stunned at the number of comments that followed... 'one of each, how perfect!' 'a blue and pink, it doesnt get better than that' and all the parents with a DD & a DS sound so very smug!

I myself have 2 DD's. I don't believe I would have felt any different if I'd had a boy. DH is incredibly sporty etc but has never felt like he is missing out not having the little boy to take to the football or whatever. It's just the way it is!

I loved growing up with brothers (the lack of male influence is my only concern with my girls growing up but they are close to their male cousins) but I also love having sisters (who I am closer to).

Everyone has their opinions and some siblings are closer to each other regardless of sex, so why do people feel the need to go on about 'the perfect scenario'?

Oodsigma Wed 01-May-13 10:43:38

YANBU

If you have 2+ the same and have more then people always assume you want the other angry

I had my ds then my dd, when I got pregnant again more than one person said 'what for' shock because I had already achieved perfection another child wasn't necessary apparently.

L8tlyK8tly Wed 01-May-13 10:46:24

It's just something to say!!! I have one of each and would have been thrilled with two of either but I sometimes say one of each in answer to the will you have another question. In one way I suppose the curiosity of what a son or daughter would be like might be there if that had been the case. I never intend this comment to be insulting or to imply that one way is better than another although I do think DD's are the bees knees

HeathRobinson Wed 01-May-13 10:47:22

My mother used to bang on about one of each being a 'gentleman's family'. Words failed me!

Ragwort Wed 01-May-13 10:49:09

YANBU

And if you have one child (like me) people always assume that you would have liked more and for whatever reason 'it didn't happen'.

And if you wait a long time before having a child (like me grin) people always assume you were 'trying' for years ........... and 'it's the best thing that ever happened to you isn't it?' errr .......... no actually !!

I think its just people making small talk though !

PreciousPuddleduck Wed 01-May-13 10:50:15

YANBU. I would love 2 DD's ;-)

freddiefrog Wed 01-May-13 10:52:11

YANBU

I have 2 girls.

After the 1st one was born I got comments about 'I suppose you'll be trying for a boy next'

After the 2nd I got 'oh, another girl, what a shame'. Followed by 'will you be having a third to try for a boy?'

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a son, but beyond that, I love having 2 girls, makes no difference to me

TwentyTinyToes Wed 01-May-13 11:03:55

I have one of each, we had ds first and we recently had dd. We didn't know what we were having and were delighted to welcome dd, but would have been just as delighted with another ds. So many people have congratulated us on "one if each" as if we had any control over it! I think it is just one of those things people say.

SkinnybitchWannabe Wed 01-May-13 11:05:04

Im am so blooming fed up of people telling me to try for a girl because Ive got 3 boys.
I don't even think my youngest was a week old before the comments started.
I just laugh now and say I only do boys.
Is my life lacking somehow because I haven't got a daughter?!!

MardyBra Wed 01-May-13 11:05:25

Yabu. They're just making conversation or being polite. It's no biggie.

BabsAndTheRu Wed 01-May-13 11:11:58

YANBU, I have 2 DS and a surprise third baby which turned out to be our DD. get really bored with people constantly saying you must be so glad to have a wee girl, your family is complete now, were you trying for a third to have a girl etc etc. would have been equally over the moon with another wee boy. Like the other posters say its something to say, but I do wish they wouldn't bother.

PirateMonkey Wed 01-May-13 11:12:37

YANBU! I love having two dds. Even though dd1 likes pink and loves dressing up as a princess, she is also really sporty and adventurous. She helps us to put up Ikea furniture, fix the bicycles and enjoys building treehouses in the forest. Weather you have boys, girls or one (or more) of each, the fun is in seeing them develop their own personalities and the unique relationships they have with their siblings.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Wed 01-May-13 11:13:16

YANBU about how obsessed some people seem to be with this subject.

We have 1 of each, they're both lovely. However, the reason we probably wont have anymore is because 2 is enough for us now, NOT because we have one of each hmm we'd still choose to have 2 children anyway, whether they are 1 of each or 2 the same.

Wishiwasanheiress Wed 01-May-13 11:14:00

It's just that u then experience both genders. That's all.

I have 2 (perfect) dds thank heavens. Exactly what I wanted smile

shewhowines Wed 01-May-13 11:14:44

Some people genuinely do want to experience one of each. I did and so do many others. Doesn't mean to say you would be disappointed if you don't get what you want, but you can still want it IYSWIM, although some people obviously are disappointed if they don't get one of each.

People do carry on trying ridiculously so in some cases until they get what they want.

What i'm trying to say, is it is important to some people and they probably don't understand why you're not bothererd. They are not wrong and neither are you.

Weegiemum Wed 01-May-13 11:15:32

I had a dd then a ds. The worst person that commented on it was my lousy HV, "ooh, you've got a Laird's Pair" (gentlemans family in Scotland).

When I got pg with dd2, I got loads of people asking my why I bothered. I loved the look when I told them my mirena had fallen out!

CharlieUniformNovemberTango Wed 01-May-13 11:16:49

YANBU - I have one of each and people always say well done like it was something I've achieved or won.

My brother has 2 boys and won't be having more and people have said to them "oh, never mind..." etc like it's a shame it's happened that way.

Personally I think he has it easier - he'll only need 2 bed places and will save a fortune on hand me down clothes and toys smile

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 01-May-13 11:17:12

it's just conversation innit!

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 01-May-13 11:17:41

spurious exclamation mark there grin

MummyPig24 Wed 01-May-13 11:18:57

Yanbu. We have one of each and ever since dc2 was born people have been saying "a boy and a girl, you don't need to have any more now." Well actually it doesn't Matter to us what gender out children are, we love them regardless, and we would quite like more too!

ivanapoo Wed 01-May-13 11:19:49

YANBU.

I have one DS and lots of people tell me I MUST have another baby.

If I'm honest I am curious to know what it would be like to have a DD too but that would definitely not be my motivation to have another.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Wed 01-May-13 11:20:54

YABU because it's just a comment/ small talk. I have about 5 comments which I rotate in relation to all baby announcements. If it's a DS/DD combination I say "Lovely, one of each." If it's DD/DD or DS/DS I say "How lovely for X to have a sister/brother" . "Lovely name" is another one.

I do have one of each and have received many such comments, but they really are just something to say. I'm sure if I'd had another DS people would have acted like that was the best possible outcome too

LucilleBluth Wed 01-May-13 11:24:55

Try being the mother of two boys who is pregnant with a third DC......people's heads explode at the thought that you're not bothered if it's another boy...........it wasn't, it was a girl.......then came the 'thank god you had the girl' comments.

People just talk crap ;)

MummytoMog Wed 01-May-13 11:36:44

I wanted a second DD tbh when I was upduffed again. I was gutted for a while that DS was a boy, and really annoyed by all the 'ooh a pigeon pair, isn't that wonderful' comments. Of course I think it's brilliant now, because DS is brilliant, but I don't see that gender equality in your offspring is ideal. I think DH would secretly love to have a million daughters, and DS is so snuggly and cuddly and adorable I could happily have another two or three of him.

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