to have a touch of rage around disturbing baby's sleep for ridiculous reason(17 Posts)
Took my 2yr old and 5mth old to our regular playgroup today. The classroom is set up with a belongings/nappy bag/changing area through a door on one side, and a babies room on the other. The babies room has a few cots for sleeping, and is only used for that and to park strollers/carseats so they're out of the way.
I popped dd down for a nap - she required a lot more settling than usual and was very tired. I knew there was a possibility of her being disturbed as there were other babies who might need naps and a stroller parked in the room, and I'm fine with that, it's life and you carry on. However ...
One of the other mum's (who knew I'd just put my baby down to sleep and had trouble settling) went in after about 5 mins. Would've been fine if it was for something important, like getting the stroller to go home. However I was a bit when I realized she'd actually just gone in there to get her iPad to show everyone how her daughter could dance to a song she had on there - what the?! Firstly belongings are supposed to be in the other room so babies can sleep, secondly could she really not have waited 10 mins til dd had gone to sleep and snuck in then? Or even just asked if it was ok? Predictably dd started screaming within 30 seconds and I just quietly got her up and took both kids outside to play for a bit.
I know I'm probably BU but we've had terrible night's lately, dd had been up for 3 hrs already and had started to do the calm staring thing when I peeked in on her so I knew we were on the home stretch to sleep and ds could have an hour uninterrupted play with me. And then that happened. AIBU to be annoyed by this?
Sorry but you are a bit. If you go to a place where there are people, you risk one of them waking the child.
I may be foolish telling you that when you are sleep deprived though.
Everyone's going to pile in and tell you YABU, it's life and really, what do you expect at a toddler group, etc, etc, and it will make you want to combust with rage than anyone could possibly think you are being in any way U and not see your side of it.
I know, because I recall the desperate need to get babies off to sleep only too well.
So it's probably best to move away from this thread right now for the sake of your sanity.
I, on the other hand, don't think you are being in the slightest bit unreasonable. Of course the daft bint could've bloody well waited.
Of course, logically, YABU because it's a place where other people will be going in and out, you can't expect everyone to work around your DC, etc etc.
But that really would have pissed me off too! Hope the sleeping gets better soon.
She probably didn't realise. My DD, almost same age, wouldn't be disturbed by someone going into the room she was sleeping in. YANBU to expect people to have a little care and consideration though so next time, if you don't want your baby disturbed, just ask people to hang on for five / ten minutes - I'm sure they happily will.
The woman shouldn't have left her belongings in there. But she probably just assumed your DD was asleep if you had already been back in the main room for five minutes. You need to spell things out for people.
Tbh I've never heard of a playgroup where cots are provided - most places would expect babies to just be left in the pram/ snooze on laps? It's very nice of them to provide this but it doesn't mean you'll get total silence . I can understand you being miffed but it should be frustration with having a baby who doesn't settle well and who can be disturbed literally by someone entering a room, rather then being directed towards other mums. Yes, she could have waited to get her iPad but its not a crime is it
At that age I'd have let dd fall asleep on me or rocked the push hair until she fell asleep
It is very stressful & my eldest did miss out on a few groups because it was easier to let my youngest sleep at home in the afternoons
Thanks for the perspective and sleep-deprivation sympathy, I appreciate it. I figured I was being a little unreasonable, but I guess I was going off what I would have done/ do in these situations - which is to stay out of the baby room unless I absolutely need something.
It's really not a well travelled room - the occasional pushchair/carseat, but that's it. To clarify, the playgroup takes place in a daycare centre, so there are 3 rooms - the main class area, and then the Cloakroom/toilet and the babies room, both of which are separate rooms with doors. I honestly don't expect silence around the babies room (the door gets closed for that reason) or for it never to be accessed, but I guess I would expect a bit of consideration that this is a sleep area. Most people do which is why I was a bit surprised at the apparent lack of it in this case. But ... That's life eh? Here's to better luck next time!
How about suggesting a notice on the back of the door saying "please do not disturb as trying to settle baby down" which can be hung on the handle or something in future. If it happened to you then it probably happens to other people as well. YABU slightly unreasonable but, as others have said, when you are deprived of sleep things seem a lot worse. Good luck with getting a sleeping pattern soon.
Yanbu to be miffed but ywbu to bitch slap her or say anything
Sounds like a fab organised playgroup though - v lucky (where is it?)
YANBU - I wouldn't go into a room with a sleeping or settling down to sleep baby for any reason that wasn't important. She should have been more considerate.
I think you know yabu - but I feel your pain.
My son is nearly four months and I am cross with everyone at the moment.
Cross with people who ring my doorbell or call the landline in the middle of the day. Cross with the workmen digging up our street and who have parked massive plant hire equipment right in "my" space. Cross with uneven pavements and motorcyclists who wake him up in his pram. Cross with the squeaky kitchen door. Cross with DP. Cross with the wind that wakes him between car and front door!
Aww I remember that horrible feeling when someone wakes up the baby. I seriously considered offing the cat for waking my little one up one time. (Of course i would not actually do it. I just thought about it. In scary detail )
Technically yes YABU but I would be having the Rage too so I would also be U. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason...
You have my sympathies. Maybe once people have older kids they forget what work it can be to get babies settled and how precious those minutes of peace are! That should give us hope I guess.
I posted something very similar when my cleaner woke my ds a few months back. Looking back I can see I was almost crazed with tiredness. It is really hard.
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