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To think if you practice you should get a chance

(69 Posts)
lisad123everybodydancenow Tue 30-Apr-13 23:29:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Tue 30-Apr-13 23:33:49

How old is she?

At primary level I would go with the "let everyone have a chance" way of thinking biking at secondary school I would expect them to pick the best avaibale team

lisad123everybodydancenow Tue 30-Apr-13 23:38:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood Tue 30-Apr-13 23:50:28

I totally agree with you. It's only by playing and learning from that, that they will improve. It's shocking that someone involved in education thinks it's OK to give the message to 9, 10, and 11 yr olds that they are 'not good enough'.
I have to say, at my dcs school, everyone who turns up reliably to practices gets to represent the school in matches. It's a very, very, very successful school (in terms of winning sporting competitions) by following this policy, rather than only playing "the elite".
IMO because they encourage eveyone to play and build their experience and therefore skill, they have a huge amount of strength in depth in many, many sports they play against other schools.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 01-May-13 00:01:10


Even if it meant playing in the B team against another B team, schools should make that happen if they are going to do it at all.

It's as if they forget that they are there to benefit children sometimes the way sports clubs are run. hmm

Cherriesarelovely Wed 01-May-13 00:07:05

Agree with you OP. How soul destroying for your Dd. Recently a child at our school was rewarded with a trophy for having attended every single football practice for FOUR YEARS despite never being given the opportunity to play a match. I felt like crying when that was read our in assembly. This was a little village football team, not the national bloody squad. So horrible!

BlackeyedSusan Wed 01-May-13 00:14:25


ThisIsMummyPig Wed 01-May-13 00:14:43

Well, I was never picked for the team, and I wouldn't have been good enough, but I did get to go a couple of times, and I was brought on as a substitute. I knew I wasn't as good as the others, and not being picked didn't bother me.

Not all schools are big enough for a B team. At my DDs school there are only about 16 girls in total in Y5 and Y6, and obviously not all of them would want to be on a sports team.

MidniteScribbler Wed 01-May-13 00:20:26

YANBU, regardless of age, it's incredibly rude to expect someone to constantly train, but never get a chance to perform in any capacity. Schools should be taking the whole team, and then switching players in and out during a match to give everyone a chance. I'm not necessarily one of those "everyone should get everything they want" type people, but if you're going to only have a select team, then you need to pick that team at the start of the year after tryouts. Don't lead kids on letting them think they have a chance if they don't.

OkayHazel Wed 01-May-13 00:20:50

I think sport provides the particularly sporty kids an area to excel in. Life isn't about taking part generally.

Just being okay with not being good enough is sometimes a good lesson to learn. How would you feel if your DD had a real talent, but wasn't allowed to play competitively because the rota had to be fair to everyone? The talented girls would lower their levels of play to accommodate the less able ones.

That's certainly less fair.

I realize this opinion will be unpopular.

BegoniaBampot Wed 01-May-13 00:30:05

I agree with you. Crap way to encourage all kids to play sport and excerise if they keep getting pushed aside. No reason they can't have several teams to accomodate more kids of all levels. Played netball and other sports as an adult and they have lots of diffent divisions, teams etc to make it more accessible for all.

Kids sport is getting more and more competitive in this country from an earlier age. If you don't start young it is difficult to catch up at an older age.

jaywall Wed 01-May-13 02:50:44

Kids sport is getting more and more competitive in this country from an earlier age<<<<<<< what !!!

I disagree, it is becoming less competitive and hugely so. There used to be leagues in football, rounders, netball, hockey, cricket etc in our area and the best players were picked. When you got picked you and everyone else knew it was on merit and this built a real team spirit. But no more it seems, not according to DS school. I think that is a sad change.

Not everyone can be the best at a certain thing at a certain time, but if they get picked anyway what will that teach them? Entitlement.

Everyone is different and will excel in different areas, accept this and teach it your kids. When they find something they like and they are good at, it will be all the sweeter knowing the failures they endured already.

Learn a little life and let your kids learn too.

deleted203 Wed 01-May-13 03:05:40

If it's primary I think they should all get a chance to play in the team. It's just fun at this age - hardly serious competition. And it is soul destroying to keep going to practise and never getting picked. If there are enough kids then they could run a B team.

Once at secondary level they should pick the best ones. Agree with those saying that it gives sporty ones a chance to shine - and often these are kids who are not necessarily academic. No one is going to give you the Maths prize if you're crap at it, so why should you give up your team place to someone who isn't much good, just so that they can all have a turn?

By secondary age most pupils start to realise that you can't be great at everything - and would be highly annoyed it their fab Art project was given low marks whilst someone else's piss poor effort came first. Similarly kids who are very sporty don't take well to being dropped from the team for someone who is keen but unco-ordinated.

You can't play in the school orchestra on your squeaky recorder whilst they drop the kid with Grade 5 violin - so by this age they should not be dropping the best netball players to let the weaker ones 'have a go'.

Gentleness Wed 01-May-13 03:22:51

25 girls in our year at primary. I was always put in the C team! And yes, it has scarred me, silly though that sounds. I would rather have my toenails pulled off than engage in any competitive sport now, and define myself as being no good at any kind of physical activity. And yes, I'm overweight, unfit and unhealthy. There must be a way of involving all without creating such depressing attitudes.

I'd love to know more about your school Backforgood.

Gentleness Wed 01-May-13 03:25:08

Should say, it's not that I expected recognition for abilities I didn't have, just that it was always sooooo clear that being on the third team made you a joke.

ItsallisnowaFeegle Wed 01-May-13 03:46:29

YANBU They should all get their chance, but although I see the logic of an A & B team, it doesn't sit comfortably with me for some reason.

I remember being in primary school and being desperate to get a chance to play on the netball team, even just once and I was never picked. I actually remember one specific instance in which I was particularly upset.

I, by nature, am a drama queen and that could explain why after 20 something years it's still something I remember having as having a negative impact on me but my opinion stands. Give everyone the chance to feel pride in themselves for being part of the school team.

Thumbwitch Wed 01-May-13 05:03:10

I'm a bit torn about this but since it's primary level, I think I'm leaning more towards "everyone should get a go".

However, I'm more concerned that it's ALWAYS the same girls who are chosen - do they only have 7 players who can play well? How many are in the "squad"? (I use the term loosely as they only have one team, it seems).

Our senior school was highly competitive at sports, particularly netball, but even so they didn't field exactly the same team every time!

kickassangel Wed 01-May-13 05:18:06

But there's loads of evidence that those who Get picked for teams and extra experience improve far more than those who don't, so they are making it harder for the non team players to compete. It's in the school's best interests to have a range of players to choose from, not just a few.

Mind you, when I was at school the best players got to choose their own team, so no favoritism there, then.

Madamecastafiore Wed 01-May-13 05:37:01

I'm with Okayhazel, but also find it bizarre that people think that if you don't get picked its bad or you'll give up.

I run, wasn't great at it at school but enjoyed the physical activity and knew it was good for me.

Instil into your kids the positive health and social benefits of sport and concentrate on that rather than the all inclusive bollocks which I find a bit demeaning. I'd rather not be picked than be on the pity team. Doesn't mean has to give up totally.

frazmum Wed 01-May-13 06:23:25

At our cricket club selection rules for primary & younger secondary kids are that all must be given a regular chance to play. The way this works in reality is that there is a core group of good players always picked and others are rotated so all get games over the season. I'd be challenging the school. YANBU.

gorionine Wed 01-May-13 06:27:49

What Backforgood said.

EmmaBemma Wed 01-May-13 06:29:02

I agree with you too. Where's the incentive to keep practising if you never get a game?

mrssprout Wed 01-May-13 06:35:51

My DD tried out for the t-ball & soccer teams last year at school & got in to represent the school in both. This year she tried out & didn't get in to either. There were lots of girls trying out both years so I think they just chose different girls this year to give everyone a go (these are teams that represent the school & she is yr 5 this year). At this age I really think they should be giving them all a go, I can understand as they get into secondary school basing the teams more on ability but when they are younger just let them all have a try.

BalloonSlayer Wed 01-May-13 06:45:14

This has happened to my DD. I think she is getting disheartened and I don't know what to say to her sad

I haven't seen my DD play but clearly she's not much good. I so wish they would have one place in the team that they kept for people like her so that all the not-so-goods got a chance to play in a match once or twice a year.

I felt so sad the other day when I had to pop into the school office for something and there was the netball team - all basically DD's good friends - all excited off to a match . . . then driving home, I passed DD walking home all on her own*.

* she doesn't want a lift BTW.

HollyMadison Wed 01-May-13 06:53:18

I think they could do with a B team. Even if they don't have enough players to play as a B team in the league they could have a few games. Or could you organize some "friendies" against other schools outside the league competition and then the playing team could consist of a wider group of players?

I'm not sure I agree that it is a valuable lesson to miss out on playing even though you've turned up to training for many months/years. I don't think that really happens in adult life, unless you're in the upper echelons of your sport. Which applies to very few people. I think the lessons you learn by actually playing the team game - teamwork, fairplay, respect for the referee, always try your best etc - outweigh these.

And in adult life you are often working in groups of people with a wide range of abilities and it makes sense to develop everybody, not just the people who might be the strongest today.

A couple of years ago the All Blacks' fourth choice fly half was called into the playing team from a fishing holiday, ran on in the World Cup final wearing someone else's jumper that didn't fit, and kicked what turned out to be the winning points to win the World Cup. I hope that happens to your DD, in the primary school netball context....

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