WIBU to discuss DH's vasectomy with the kids?!(33 Posts)
DH is getting the snip on Friday. Kids are 13, 11, 7. They will want to know why Dad is going to the hospital -(he has to be there at 7am so I will take the youngest with me to drop him off.)
Is it more reasonable to run the risk of freaking them out totally (ie, the thought of us aged parents having sex ), or would it be better to invent some sort of vague check up to cover up?!
If it was just the little one I would tell her Daddy was having an operation so that he wouldn't make any more babies, but given the age of the older ones, I really have no idea whether honesty is the best policy right now!
If left to DH, he would probably say he was going to the dentist!
If left to DH, he would probably say he was going to the dentist
It's his op and his body so I wouldn't tell your children. I'd ask him to tell them in the way he chooses to. You can let him know that you think its best to tell them the truth but to be honest I think "dads going in for a check up" is fine.
When you want to talk contraception with them you can tell them what your choices are / have been in the past.
I'd tell them. Tell the eldest 2 in more complex language than the little one.
And also stock up on bags of cheap frozen peas for the swelling!
What does DH want to do?
There's no reason not to give a basic truthful description if that's what he wants to do. But if he wants it to be private, then his wishes should be respected. Though in that case, ask him to be the one who comes up with an unalarming cover story - which will need to be flexible, as although most men have straightforward procedures and don't need much time off games, there's always the chance he'd be in the unlucky few who do have complications.
I think while it would be a man's 'right' to tell whatever story he wants, there are drawbacks.
It'd be unusual to take even quite a short time off work after a dental appointment - althought that doesn't matter if the guy is going back to work the next day You would be advised not do any sport afterwards - so if someone routinely goes to the gym etc, that might be noted. There's the business of providing samples afterwards - necessitating more trips to a hospital or clinic. And very occasionally there are complications. So the chances of being caught out one way or the other strike me as reasonably high. And then the message given out to young people is that anything sexual is a matter for deceit, lies and concealment.
I told mine when DH had his, my youngest was 4 at the time. No, that's not true, we had a baby as well but obviously I didn't tell a 4 month old
I saw no reason not to tell them and my 4 year old liked jumping on him so I told her that she needed to be careful as daddy has had a minor operation to stop us having any more babies.
I went into a bit more detail with the older ones obviously.
I'd tell them, my two DDs have always known Mummy takes pills to stop either of them having to share their bedrooms.
It is a long standing joke here that a baby would have to sleep in the bath.
Actually, I've always been very honest that DH and I don't want any more DCs because DD2 is really good with little children and it's always seemed kindest that she never thought of a baby sibling.
The 11 year old and 7 year old know now as they heard me exclaiming in shock when DH told me he was planning on playing footie on Sunday (op on Friday
They asked why he couldn't play so I said because on Friday he was having a little operation at the hospital to stop him being able to make babies. They both grumbled that they'd like a little sister then went back to their game! No concern for dad's state of health though!
My eldest was out so missed the conversation so I'd better remember to mention it to him tomorrow. He's at that horrible self-obsessed age anyway so is unlikely to care in the least!
i,m not sure what i would tell a 7 yr old my ds age 6 knows he he and his brother came out of my tummy and that both he and his brother grew into babies from a seed daddy planted in my tummy but i dont think he thinks too much about how daddy planted the seed what most ammuses him is that i have told him just little bits that he was born with a cord around his neck and had to be rushed off but when he asks about his little brothers birth [ventouse] he thinks its hilarious that his brother had to be pulled out with a plunger on his head!
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