To think my DP should be able to come over late at night

[AnneNonimous]

Without me being accused of being a prostitute!!!!

I have lived in my current flat since January. It's a house converted into 2 flats and I'm upstairs. Downstairs live a couple (I assume they are a couple) who have seemed fine up until now. Not particularly friendly but their choice.

My DP works unsociable hours so often he will visit and turn up at 10. He does not make a lot of noise when he comes in, if he goes out to smoke he takes a walk so he's not hanging around outside their window downstairs. I accept there will be some noise of him going up and down the stairs but he makes no unnecessary noise.

Last night we were up late and he went for a cigarette at 1am. He told me when he'd come back in the woman downstairs and opened her door to look at him and shut it again.

He left this morning and at lunch time I found a note by my door saying could I keep the noise down before they report me to my landlord for 'immoral activities'. Now I'm assuming this is because I have a man coming in and out because I can't for the life of me think what else it could be.

Aibu in thinking it is not their business who I have in my house or at what time if they are not making any unnecessary noise?!?! I

[shewhowines]

YANBU

[diddl]

What a ridiculous note!

Although, if he does disturb them, I can see how that would be annoying.

[Plathism]

They sound a bit crazy. Ignore!

[WilsonFrickett]

Sorry, but that's actually made me . Maybe he could take his shoes off before he goes upstairs? him and all your gentlemen callers

[whois]

Ah that's v funny!

You should take to prancing about in a red leather corset or something :-)

[Plathism]

Ask them what they mean by immoral activities. They might just be really anti-smoking...

[AnneNonimous]

Oh and to make it worse I live with my 13 month old! It's humiliating

[AnneNonimous]

And if I didn't have him visiting and it was me going in and out the house is that something they could even complain about? Isn't that just part of living in a flat?

[WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo]

ooh i would have to knock her door and aske her to clarify what immoral activites she meant. i would need to see how red her face went!

[Crinkle77]

It depends how often he goes out for a ciggy

[AnneNonimous]

crinkle last night was just once otherwise no more than twice in an evening

[ChaoticTranquility]

Sorry but I'm at immoral activities.

[aldiwhore]

Arf at 'immoral activities'.

YANBU to be mightily pissed off. Your neighbours have the right to question, to ask if you might keep the noise down, but they are completely out of order to assume you're engaging in something distasteful.

I would, if you feel the need to, just explain that your DP works unsociable hours, he isn't your pimp.

[ThingummyBob]

I dated someone last year who's downstairs neighbours were like this He literally creeps up and down stairs to his own flat in bare feet.

I didn't. I refuse to take my shoes off when entering a communal area to keep some fussy old twats happy. They probably shouldn't live in a flat though is my first thought.

Am about the immoral activities... I'd be inclined to play up to their weird concerns about your nocturnal habits

[mrsjay]

My neighbour could have written that note it maybe was she is a loon, she accused a young lad of have orgies once because he had a party and girls traipsed in and out of the building to smoke and they were in heels,

anyway I think this person is a loon and needs to be ignored jeez some people

[SanitaryOwl]

They might not know it's the same person coming and going - you might want to explain to them that you PARTNER works odd hours, and smokes outside.

[Jux]

As he's your guest, and you've invited him to stay, then he can go in and out as many times as he likes. Unless there's a clause in your tenancy that says you can't have people round.

They are being idiotic.

[BarredfromhavingStella]

I too would absolutely have to knock on thier door & ask precisely what they meant... YANBU.

[msrisotto]

How very dare they!
Outrageous. Definitely knock on their door and ask what the hell they are alluding to.

[mumofweeboys]

I do understand how they could be annoyed by opening and closing door at night. I live in a terrace and both neighbours are shift workers and opening closing front door and walking up stairs in early hours often wakes me or the kids up. However would never complain as just one of those things living in a terrace. What a cheek your neighbours have. I would pass note onto landlord and say you would call it harrassment

[overmydeadbody]

Go and talk to them and ask them to clarify what you are doing that is so immoral.

That'll make them squirm.

Silly people

[AnneNonimous]

Well I'm so glad it's not just me that thinks they're ridiculous. I get very paranoid about not annoying people as I know people see a young single mum at home with a baby and make assumptions. But this has really pissed me off!

[quoteunquote]

Dear neighbour,

Of course we will try to keep the noise to a minimal,

But what in fact first alerted to you, to our cannibalistic tendencies?

as we thought we were being discreet.

thanks AnneNonimous

[KirjavaTheCat]

I agree with confronting them, just ask nicely what they think you're doing that is immoral. If you ignore it they'll sit there all smug thinking, well that told her. Ugh. How bitchy.

Or get your partner to stomp extra loud... Then sigh when he's outside and loudly proclaim "SO worth the money!"

[PuddingsAndPies]

When my DP lived in a flat, he sometimes took his rubbish out to the bins after dark (especially in the winter, because he was at work all day!) & one of the neighbours wrote him a note saying it was sinister and suspicious