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to be a bit concerned (and possibly worrying too much) - childcare related

(11 Posts)
TulipsFromWaitrose Tue 30-Apr-13 15:33:50

I have a nanny two and a half days a week for DS - 15 months. She's been with us for seven months and DS still cries every time I leave. Screams out for me till he's red in the face. He does stop crying within 2 minutes after I leave the room though and seems instantly cheerful - so possibly it's all for my guilt benefit. When I get back, he seems happy but gets upset if I don't go to him immediately (eg if I hang back while the nanny finishes reading him his story or whatever).

I really thought by now the crying would have stopped. He's perfectly happy when my MIL comes round and I pop out to shops or even leave him with her a few hours.

The nanny seems lovely, kind and caring - fantastic references too - and I hear lots of laughter coming from the playroom before I leave for work. I suppose I'm just wondering if there could be any reason why DS is still so unhappy? Is it normal? AIBU to feel a bit concerned about it?

rubyslippers Tue 30-Apr-13 15:35:53

separation anxiety?

do you have any other worries about the care she provides?

PanpiperAtTheGatesOfYawn Tue 30-Apr-13 15:39:48

My DD screamed every time we left when she was little. It was heartbreaking. I used to come back and check but she was always very happy and having a good time. I also got freaked out that it meant she was being maltreated but have come to the conclusion that she is just really bad at adjusting to a new state.

Now she is 3.5 she screams when we take her to nursery and when she sees the nanny. Then when I relieve the nanny or pick her up, she screams because she doesn't want to leave. I can't win!

She hates waking up as well. She's totally normal and a sweetheart most of the time, just really bad at transitions.

PanpiperAtTheGatesOfYawn Tue 30-Apr-13 15:44:40

Also, your DS knows that MIL means a few hours, whereas nanny means all day.

Tanith Tue 30-Apr-13 15:46:29

I think it's most likely to be separation anxiety. DH and I both work from home and our kids, at this age, have cried when one of us left the house smile

WilsonFrickett Tue 30-Apr-13 15:50:38

If you hear him laughing by the time you're leaving then I don't think there's any reason to worry about your nanny, it's probably just separation anxiety. My DS started nursery without a whimper, but when he changed rooms (about the same age as yours) it was a nightmare for a few months.

MummytoMog Tue 30-Apr-13 15:52:14

My three year old screamed the entire time I was getting ready to go to work, shouting "but Mog LOVES Mummy" at the top of her lungs and weeping fit to burst. I was leaving her with her father who she really quite likes, and she (as usual) was happily tucked up with him watching Meg and Mog on the iPad two seconds after I closed the front door. She does this every morning she catches me leaving for work. I think it's hard for them to see you go, and both of mine get quite cross if I don't immediately go to them when I get home (which means I have to sneak up the stairs to get changed from work. sigh)

jacks365 Tue 30-Apr-13 15:58:49

Every day my 18mo cries when big sis is leaving for school and demands her attention the second she gets home but she is cared for by me during the day so i know she's getting cared for properly. It's just one of those things.

TulipsFromWaitrose Tue 30-Apr-13 16:14:16

ok that's making me feel a lot better, thank you!

NickNacks Tue 30-Apr-13 16:17:30

Some children just don't do transition very well. They can be happy in both settings but the cross over is too much for them. He's also probably developed a bit of a habit doing it.

PanpiperAtTheGatesOfYawn Tue 30-Apr-13 16:42:15

MummytoMog god forbid our girls ever get together to compare notes! grin

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