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To ask for a contribution

(17 Posts)
Chewmebush Tue 30-Apr-13 12:58:35

Exh pays me £300 a month for our 3 dc. It's £150 less than what CSA recommend. Would I be unreasonable to ask him to help out with the music and dance lessons bill?

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Tue 30-Apr-13 13:03:58

The CSA amount is the minimum that he has to pay. If he's not paying the right amount then you should think about contacting the CSA. They can deduct it out of his wages.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Tue 30-Apr-13 13:07:24

Is he a reasonable person? If so, then he would be happy to contribute a bit closer to his fair share for the children he helped to create!

If not, then what if you did go through the CSA?

KellyElly Tue 30-Apr-13 13:13:26

Why is he not paying what the CSA recommend???

raspberryroop Tue 30-Apr-13 13:15:19

Your unreasonable not to ask him to pay the full amount unless you can manage well and he's putting it away for the kids - which is obviously NOT happening as you want him to help with these bills. Get it sorted smile

Chewmebush Tue 30-Apr-13 13:18:02

I think I have been a soft touch. When we split I went to CSA after him not giving me anything for a while. He had letters from CSA and told me he would be struggling to pay the £450 a month plus arrears. He had heart problems and went through valve replacement so I accepted the £300. He's back on his feet and I try to be amicable but I don't get to go to Vegas or on nights out and take time off from the children when I need a break.

KellyElly Tue 30-Apr-13 13:20:47

Go back through the CSA and no more excuses from him! Sorry to sound heartless but the CSA calculate the minimum and you have three kids to take care of. £300 a month is pathetic.

MaxPepsi Tue 30-Apr-13 13:24:25

He should be paying the right amount for his children.

However - are you sure the recommended CSA amount is actually correct?

Dh's ex was convinced he wasn't paying enough. He disagreed and said he was paying above 15% of his earnings and paying for any extras that came up. She went to the csa.
She got a lot, lot less. then stopped contact

Chewmebush Tue 30-Apr-13 13:26:00

Kellyelly, I do feel quite pathetic considering £120 off the £300 goes straight into 18+ accounts for the children.

MaxPepsi Tue 30-Apr-13 13:26:52

X - post.

Have you had the figures revised recently?

If he's ogoing off to Vegas instead of supporting his kids then he needs a kick up the backside.

Chewmebush Tue 30-Apr-13 13:38:30

Maxpepsi - his bottom line is £1800 a month. I though the calcs were correct.

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Tue 30-Apr-13 13:43:38

You're being too reasonable. Mine earns about 36,000 euro's and has 2 other children now. He stopped paying in May last year, I'm waiting for the courts to get their act together. He used to pay £200 a month for 1 child before this. I should have done something sooner as this isn't fair on ds. Contact the CSA and ask them to enforce the order.

MaxPepsi Tue 30-Apr-13 13:56:00

They will be. I was just genuinely wondering.

Was he working when he had the valve replacement or did he get sick pay? And does he have the kids overnight at all?

If you still want things to remain amicable I'd broach the subject with him first before going back to the CSA. See what he says. If you think he's still taking the piss then report him.

Chewmebush Tue 30-Apr-13 14:04:58

Hi maxpepsi he was on full pay all the way through being sick. They made him redundant gave him £15000 and he's walked straight into another job. He does have the children overnight but it doesn't even work out at 1 night a week. Last weekend was last match of the season so obviously he couldn't see themhmm

KellyElly Tue 30-Apr-13 14:19:26

I do feel quite pathetic There's only one person being pathetic and it isn't you! grin

MaxPepsi Tue 30-Apr-13 14:21:44

I thought as much - just trying to pre-empt any excuses he might throw in your face when you and if you speak to him for why he can't pay.

I'd tell him you want £500 per month. Then see what his counter offer is before deciding if you'll use the CSA.

I realise it sounds like I think you should let him off, but I really do think the CSA are a bunch of twats and you won't necessarily be better off with them.

Chewmebush Tue 30-Apr-13 14:36:47

Maxi- I have just asked him for a contribution to music lessons for this term. He offered me half.

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