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AIBU?

If your DW goes to bed the last 2 nights in lots of pain, asking in the morning how she is instead of ...

5 replies

frazmum · 30/04/2013 09:20

DH spending the 10 mins he takes to get dressed ranting on about all sorts to do with him is rude. Am suffering from Sciatica and has been a month now so appreciate the family's tolerance is wearing thin. It was getting better but since Sunday morning the pain has got worse again - not as bad as before but by the time I went to bed on Sun and Mon nights was in tears with pain.

But no, yesterday it was how he was tired from spending 5 hours each day at DS's sports tournaments - yes it is tiring standing there all day and usually I go too but can't stand for more than 10 mins at the mo. Also on Sat was organising DD16's birthday party for that night. Apart from picking up DD's friends from restaurant to bring back here and then take them home later & a quick downstairs hoover that was all he did all weekend! I did everything else, hence I think the increase in pain.

This morning it was his 'shit day yesterday' - boss was annoying, stayed up to midnight arguing with DD18 about Uni (did tell him to keep his msg short, don't get into a long argument) and the 'grief' from me yesterday morning. First thing yesterday he was texting me about organising a garden quote. I texted back saying could we talk later as I was trying to get dressed (which is a challenge at present) and deal with difficult DS8 so could we discuss later - apparently not as he had a busy day and was using time on the train to organise things.

Rant over - so AIBU?

OP posts:

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MolotovCocktail · 30/04/2013 11:09

YAB a bit U.

It's not all about you.

However, he should show you some consideration, too. Maybe if you're responsive to his problems, he'll reciprocate. If not, say "Anyway, my day was ... And my sciatica isn't getting any better. I think I've been too busy; I need your help actually ..."

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noclue2000 · 30/04/2013 11:17

i think you both sound like the only thing you want to hear is about you.
you are in pain and that is horrible, but it is not the only thing your family is dealing with my the sound of it. if he is only being like this from this past weekend and you have been suffering for a month now its not like he dosent care, he is trying to get on with life, as you are.

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noclue2000 · 30/04/2013 11:18

i think you both sound like the only thing you want to hear is about you.

( from above)

i meant

i think you both sound like the only thing you want to hear about is yourselves.

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aldiwhore · 30/04/2013 11:21

My DH had sciatica and was in a huge amount of pain. He got irritated with me constantly asking how he was... you can't win.

It's hard on everyone.

I've had it too, and it's no fun, horrendous in fact, but I think you both need to walk on egg shells a little, be forgiving with each other.

Hope you improve soon. (YAB understandably U, as is he)

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frazmum · 30/04/2013 11:36

Well no it's not all about me. On Sunday after he came home from sports I made sure he just put his feet up as he has very early starts during the week. Normally he does Sunday dinner, but I did that too. Then when I picked him up from the station last night I asked him about his day and listened to all the hassles he'd had all the drive home.

When the sciatica was at its worst I got lots of help from DH and DCs. But now I have no help except for a cleaner once a week (and that's only so the family don't have to do it). I'm getting complaints about things not being washed fast enough, there is no juice in the fridge etc. While they watch me pop more tablets and go to bed crying with pain!