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to let him fit her kitchen?

(21 Posts)
Jelly15 Mon 29-Apr-13 21:22:01

My friend (not close) divorced around five years ago. Six months ago she started having an affair with her boss but it has now ended (his wife found out). She has asked my husband, a carpenter, to fit her new kitchen. I trust my DH completely and despite her recently gained reputation, amoungst our mutual "friends", as a husband stealer, don't believe she would make a pass at him.

She is looking foward to her new kitchen and has been telling people about it and two friends have been shocked that I am happy for DH to fit it. They think I am being naieve and that even it nothing happens between them rumours will start. I told them that only if people make up lies will rumours start but they just laughed at me. So AIBU to not mind DH filling her kitchen?

SomethingOnce Mon 29-Apr-13 21:26:15

Filling her kitchen

Is that a euphemism? grin

Jelly15 Mon 29-Apr-13 21:27:48

blush typo - meant fitting

SanitaryOwl Mon 29-Apr-13 21:29:14


And, FFS it takes TWO people to have an affair. Men are culpable too. Tell your friends to fuck off and grow up.

TobyLerone Mon 29-Apr-13 21:29:19

How ridiculous those friends are hmm


TobyLerone Mon 29-Apr-13 21:30:43

This really gives me the rage. There is no such thing as a 'husband/wife stealer'. There are only husbands/wives who choose to have affairs.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 29-Apr-13 22:16:19

Me too, Toby. This idea that a man is sooooooo helpless and has no control over his actions and a woman can come along and force him to have an affair with her really pisses me off.

TigerSwallowTail Mon 29-Apr-13 22:29:18

Your friends are being ridiculous. Just because she had an affair with her boss doesn't mean she's waiting to jump on the next married man she's left alone with.

QuintessentialOHara Mon 29-Apr-13 22:31:10

Surely she will pay him his going rate?

Liara Mon 29-Apr-13 22:32:21

Of course yabu.

Your friends are just being silly.

I just don't get the whole 'blame the OW' mentality on here. Do these men have no free will? confused

TheCraicDealer Mon 29-Apr-13 22:32:24

Your friends are idiots. It's like they think their husbands will never have an affair because they can somehow prevent it happening, like they have an element of control over the situation. Nope. If someone wants to carry on behind their SO's back they'll find a way to do it, doesn't matter how many kitchens they're not allowed to fit.

Liara Mon 29-Apr-13 22:33:05

Sorry, YA*N*BU

LEMisdisappointed Mon 29-Apr-13 22:35:13

So long as a fair price is being paid!

LRDtheFeministDragon Mon 29-Apr-13 22:37:57

What toby said.

TobyLerone Tue 30-Apr-13 07:54:06

She's no more likely to come on to your DH, just because she's had an affair with a married man before, than a gay man is, just because he likes to have sex with men.

The grammar in that comment is awful, but I hope you get what I mean grin

deepfriedsage Tue 30-Apr-13 08:04:09

U a n b u

This woman has no respect for a marriage. In her boss she met a man who had no respect for marriage.

As long as you are sure your DH is trust worthy then carry on.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Tue 30-Apr-13 08:05:50

agree with Toby.

Jelly15 Tue 30-Apr-13 08:27:46

Thanks for the replies, I was sure I was not being unreasonable but when two, normally sensible, women act that way, I did, almost, start to wonder if I was the unreasonable one.

AnyFucker Tue 30-Apr-13 08:32:23

Some perfectly sensible seeming women appear to have undergone a lobotomy when it comes to the behaviour of men

OP, your h should fit this woman's kitchen and if your friends have any more to say about it or you think they are revelling in any kind of speculation, tell them to STFU

montage Tue 30-Apr-13 08:37:33

I think your friends' attitude says more about their insecurities concerning their own relationships tbh.

Saski Tue 30-Apr-13 08:41:02

I think that's really nice of your husband, and I wouldn't worry at all.

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