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AIBU to feel a bit down about my birthday tomorrow?

(31 Posts)
Apparentlychilled Mon 29-Apr-13 20:29:50

OK, this is totally a first world problem and I know there are FAR worse things I could have on my plate, but here goes.

Tomorrow is my b'day. Not a big birthday though. DH is working away (left last night, we'll see him on Friday night). Has been away for weeks, and putting in big hours for months. No present. Card "in the post". No present or card from DC (4 and 1, so clearly needed to be sorted by DH yesterday). I asked my siblings for a particular (cheap) gift between them but instead one DSis has bought me something I HATE (long saga re the White Co which I told her about at length. V generous but now White Co gives me the rage).

We're going out for dinner on Friday night w DF, DStepM, other Dsis (whose birthday is tomorrow and it's a big bday for her) and her DH. When I asked Dad if dinner might not be ALL about DSis (she has form), he laughed and said maybe only 98% about her. I suggested 55% (as it's a big one for her, not me).

I feel really neglected! And I realise that I need to get a grip. I have a nice day planned w friends and DC tomorrow, but I just feel like crying. I guess I just feel neglected by DH, my siblings and DP. I need to grow up, right?

phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Apr-13 20:33:46

YANBU, it's nice to feel appreciated and thought about,especially when things are tough re him working away - he should have made the effort

to be fair it's not tomorrow yet, he MIGHT have sent more than a card, he MIGHT phone and order something to be delivered? he might bring you something nice back?

Have a nice day with the DC anyway

HollyBerryBush Mon 29-Apr-13 20:35:56

I cant help you. I dont understand adult birthdays at all. I understand some people feel the need, big birthday or not. Sorry.

Grunzlewheek Mon 29-Apr-13 20:36:21

I hate birthdays and always feel miserable and stressed.

Have a wine and a cry flowers

Hassled Mon 29-Apr-13 20:38:13

I can understand why you feel as you do - I don't think it matters how old you get, you still want a bit of a fuss - it's just the sort of acknowledgement/reassurement that you're loved and cared for, isn't it?

Hope the day goes better than you're expecting. You might be surprised.

IHateSafeStyle Mon 29-Apr-13 20:38:33

You have a dh and a dp blowy grin

McNewPants2013 Mon 29-Apr-13 20:39:16

Is the meal being organised by your dad for your sister, then i would be very pissed off.

Happy birthday for tomorrow flowers

Apparentlychilled Mon 29-Apr-13 20:40:24

I LOVE my birthday and (child that I am) like to be made a fuss of. OK, these days that usually involves a cup of tea being made for me, but kisses and cuddles from DC and DH are in order, as well as cards, at the very least. Present(s), I can live without, though a thoughtful present is greatly appreciated.

I think I need wine. Thanks for sympathy.

Apparentlychilled Mon 29-Apr-13 20:42:30

Yeah, my love life is THAT crazy!- I meant my DH and my folks (DP).

I guess it doesn't help that DSis always "stole" our birthday growing up (she's older than me). One year she even invited me to HER party on OUR birthday. Friday was meant to be dinner for me, DH and my Dad and his wife. I mentioned that she's turning 40, so it's become about her, again.

Misty9 Mon 29-Apr-13 20:45:05

You poor thing, YADNBU but have a happy birthday from me smile
I wouldn't be impressed with dh in this scenario...but mine struggles with birthdays and hates the fuss himself so assumes I will too... hmm. I therefore swing wildly in the run up to mine between feeling excited, and trying to ignore the whole thing for fear of disappointment!

Can you bake a cake for yourself with dc tomorrow? It's good your seeing friends, hopefully they'll spoil you a bit. As an adult my parents and siblings don't really celebrate my birthday (and live miles away, one abroad) but I would expect more from dh.

newfavouritething Mon 29-Apr-13 20:45:06

Happy Birthday for tomorrow - can you bake a cake with your children? Let them decorate it with sweets and blow the candles out, then buy yourself something fab.

Bowlersarm Mon 29-Apr-13 20:45:08

YANBU. I would be miserable waking up on my birthday with no one acknowledging it as well. You have to get over it though as there is no alternative. Have a lovely time with your friends and DC-at least you are doing something nice, and be determined to enjoy yourself on Friday.

LaGuardia Mon 29-Apr-13 20:50:16

How old are you tomorrow, OP? 8?

Apparentlychilled Mon 29-Apr-13 20:52:37

Misty- DH is exactly the same as yours- entirely nonplussed by his b'day so especially as he's flat out at work, it won't occur to him that I might be disappointed. And it was only at 7pm tonight when I asked if there was a card anywhere from DC that it even occurred to him that he was meant to sort one.

No, no chance of anything being delivered. Christmas only happened because I sent him a link of what I wanted. He's generally lovely, just rubbish at presents.

A friend is coming over for takeaway and wine tomorrow night and cake being baked (or, in reality, probably rice krispie cakes) tomorrow.

Thank you all - it helps to know I'm not alone in liking my bday being marked!

Apparentlychilled Mon 29-Apr-13 20:53:24

Cheers LaGuardia. Nice to know birthdays don't apply once you're over 8.

MadBusLady Mon 29-Apr-13 20:55:11

YANBU. Ignore the twatty joyless remarks. It's nice to be made a bit of a fuss of on one bloody day of the year.

Happy birthday for tomorrow flowers

spanky2 Mon 29-Apr-13 20:57:17

Go out and buy yourself a present .At least that way you will get something you like ! Happy Birthday ! I would be pissed off too,but not so pissed off I wouldn't get something !

Misty9 Mon 29-Apr-13 21:04:51

I've given up the subtle approach too - I asks if there'll be a card from ds in plenty of time! Bless him though, dh knows I really like to have a birthday cake (my mum wasn't especially maternal still isn't but always did a good cake) and has tried to bake one a couple of times - but just doesn't GET cake, like that it needs icing in the case of wheat free ones...

I don't know how you've coped with having to share your birthday with your sister shock

Have a lovely day - and rice crispie cakes are yummy (and wheat free smile )

MrsEricBana Mon 29-Apr-13 21:08:57

I do sympathise OP. DH is similar and I feel that as it is me that is responsible for all the cards, pressies, cakes etc for every single member of our immediate and extended families (and at Xmas too) it would be nice to have even a little bit of fuss on my own birthday. I would flippin` love someone to trot out with a little cake with candles on one of these birthdays! So YADNBU. Hope you have a happy day the dcs tomorrow.

4yoniD Mon 29-Apr-13 21:13:27

YANBU. My last birthday was a wash out. The stomach bug was certainly part of that, but no friends/family even sent me a text saying happy birthday, except my husband; thankfully he came through! I would often throw a bbq for everyone, but this year - fuck 'em. I am thinking quiet hotel for just me & dh.

(PS/disclaimer - these people expect cards/ presents/ recognition when it is their birthday)

Apparentlychilled Mon 29-Apr-13 21:36:31

Thank you all- wine has helped, along with sympathy for me and my first world problem!

And Misty- me and my 'D'Sis is a whole other story....! So much so that the other day I asked DH (in all seriousness) if we had another DC and it was born on DD's or DS's birthday if we could lie and not make them share birthdays. I suppose it's probably a criminal offence or something to do that. Not that I bear a grudge that I share my b'day.....!

Misty9 Tue 30-Apr-13 08:36:08

Happy birthday!!

spanky2 Tue 30-Apr-13 09:12:55

Happy Birthday !

CuppaSarah Tue 30-Apr-13 09:15:16

Happy Birthday!! Hope you have a nice chilled day today. flowers

kohl Tue 30-Apr-13 09:35:20

Happy BD OP!

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