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To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

(260 Posts)
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Apr-13 17:56:06

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. sad I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

ConfusedPixie Thu 02-May-13 08:46:07

I wish I was as collected as you op, I would never be able to face her again, let alone have a discussion about it!

fromparistoberlin Thu 02-May-13 08:22:54

sometimes I love MN!

this thread I hope gave you the courage to stick up for yourself and tell a complete bitch to fuck off

I know its not easy, but you stuck up for yourself

brava OP

digerd Thu 02-May-13 07:35:10

My SIS had children - nieces- as her bridesmaids. Don't remember who her maid of Honour was - she certainly did not ask me to be it, but never gave it a thought < until now>.

olgaga Wed 01-May-13 21:41:41

OP you're obviously someone who is full of real character - well done to you.

Hope you enjoy your shoes, your freedom from this absurd hassle, and the nice holiday you'll have with your DH. Credit to him too.


MissLurkalot Wed 01-May-13 21:27:52

I think you're brilliant OP... Seriously. Xxx

ShipwreckedAndComatose Wed 01-May-13 19:54:19

See, I can kind of get her choosing her sister over you and how difficult it is to learn to say no to such a complete controlling bitch. I can see that this might take years of unlearning for her.

But she could have come up with a better way of breaking it to you. Some way of trying to let you down gently. confused

pigletmania Wed 01-May-13 19:39:05

Than what a sad life your ex friend will have trying to please someone who cannot be pleased, I hope for her sake she learns sooner rather than later

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Wed 01-May-13 18:41:49

Thanks all for your kind words again.

I did feel a little sorry for her, but could not let it have an impact on my life.

Her sister has a lot of issues (hardly a surprise) they have been a few other instances of weirdness on her part, she just has not a kind word to say about anyone and its come back and bit her on the bum more times than that. She feels the world is against her.

I had a lovely day out with another friend, funnily was not able to find a dress (never can when I looking) but had a nice lunch and bought myself 2 pairs of shoes (my weakness)

shewhowines Wed 01-May-13 17:54:59

You are hurting but she does realise just what an arse she has been about it. I can understand her choosing her sister and niece over you, but why didn't she just tell you the truth?

Maybe over time, if she is genuinely sorry, you will both get over this and resume your friendship. It's such a shame to both lose something you value because of a admittedly severe and stupid mistake on her part.

Continue to be civil and see how you feel a few months down the line.

StephaniePowers Wed 01-May-13 17:40:55

Wow, you handled that so well!
I feel a bit sorry for your ex-friend, she handled a difficult situation extremely poorly and she will have learned a lesson about hurting friends.
I have had a few things pointed out to me by my inlaws about my appearance and it hurts very much but sadly I can't detach with the grace which you have shown.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Wed 01-May-13 17:27:59

Well done Grrrrrrrrrr! You have handled this amazingly well and deserve much, much better

fuzzpig Wed 01-May-13 15:03:39

Gosh, she sounds like a twelve year old, as does her sister (actually that's an insult to twelve year olds) her sister fancied your DH but you 'won' him, good grief, get over it silly woman! (The sister I mean)

I've had situations where a couple of DH's colleagues have continually blanked me/bitched about me due to them having a thing for him. It got to me (I hate the idea of anyone thinking badly of me) but in the end I just found I pitied them grin

You have done absolutely brilliantly handling it so maturely and being assertive. You are an inspiration. Make sure you send us a virtual postcard from your holiday grin

QuintessentialOHara Wed 01-May-13 14:57:41

Well done.

What a spineless and pathetic woman.

CatelynStark Wed 01-May-13 14:06:33

Another well done! A horrible situation that your ex friend will regret for many years to come - sad, but entirely her own fault.

Her sister is completely bonkers!

JParkson Wed 01-May-13 13:38:08

Absolute madness from her sister!

Well done OP, you handled it very well thanks wink

Squitten Wed 01-May-13 13:34:52

Well done OP! You handled that brilliantly!

She obviously is not a good friend so you've lost nothing. It's a shame she is allowing her wedding to be dictated by her family. She will regret it all in the end and she will have to live with that for the rest of her life.

Fairydogmother Wed 01-May-13 13:30:35

very well done OP

maturely handled and you've def done the right thing. i'd say she has a lot of think about now so perhaps she wont make a similar mistake in the future??!!!

givemeaclue Wed 01-May-13 13:17:00

Mexican wave for op...

Well done.

SusanneLinder Wed 01-May-13 13:11:44

A 16, bloody hell, is that supposed to be overweight....hmm The way she is talking, I thought you were morbidly obese.

What an utter cow!

VoiceofUnreason Wed 01-May-13 13:06:38

Joins in applause. Fabulous!

LemonPeculiarJones Wed 01-May-13 13:03:51

flowers Stands and applauds OP flowers

Casserole Wed 01-May-13 13:02:21

OP you are bloody awesome. I am already married but I would quite like to have another wedding so I could have you in it grin

well done op... yes, its cost you a friendship, but honestly, who needs friends like that?

her sister im sure will cause more issues for her leading up to the big day and she'll probably end up regreting how she treated you.

only people that need to grow up and like lots of drama stay bitter about having a crush on someone and not "getting" them 10+ years ago. madness confused

Dubjackeen Wed 01-May-13 12:45:11

Well done OP, you have been nothing but dignified throughout. I am incredulous that a 'friend' would say such a thing in the first place and then try to justify it. You have handled it so well. Let it be her loss. Good friends are not that easily found. I think she will regret this, and has set herself up for many a hard knock ahead if she is allowing herself to be pushed around to this extent. I have heard of bridezillas but she takes it to a whole new level.
You probably will not now be invited to the wedding, so I suggest toasting the symmetrical gathering from afar-on a nice holiday, preferably.
Hold your head high OP, and enjoy the company of true friends. flowers

pigletmania Wed 01-May-13 12:34:06

She had better start getting a backbone soon or what else is her sister going to ruin, she has already cost a good friend.

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