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To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

(260 Posts)
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Apr-13 17:56:06

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. sad I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

GreenEggsAndNichts Mon 29-Apr-13 18:46:24

poozle yes I was just thinking, here's hoping half of them become pregnant with twins in the meantime. smile

Doinmummy Mon 29-Apr-13 18:47:34

You poor thing . I bet you're stunning and she's jealous.

Even if it is her Mum being a bridezilla there's no need for her to actually say anything so hurtful. She needn't have given a reason at all.


ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 29-Apr-13 18:48:05

Or maybe a broken leg? That would definately look unsymmetrical

or would the bride insist another bridesmaid break the other leg to balance out the photos on the other side

WildeRumpus Mon 29-Apr-13 18:48:14

Your best friend has told you you are too fat for her wedding! Your big fat self will ruin her day so she wants you out of it. That is unbelievably shocking! Symmetrical photos?! Wtaf?!

Am so angry and upset for you op. Please don't take that shit.

ConfusedPixie Mon 29-Apr-13 18:52:24

Yanbu, she, on the other hand, is a badger's shitwadded wankstain.

Don't have anything more to do with her, she's really not worth it if this is how she really feels!

Doinmummy Mon 29-Apr-13 18:53:01

And now she's trying to be all nicey nicey because she knows she's been a bitch.

travailtotravel Mon 29-Apr-13 18:53:11

Best off out. Of the wedding and the friendship.

Fairydogmother Mon 29-Apr-13 18:53:17


What a complete bitch

She doesn't deserve a friend like you

Gemini1974 Mon 29-Apr-13 18:56:17

Shallow shallow shallow

That's awful! Bridesmaids should be picked based on your relationship with them, not what they look like! I had 4, 2 were smaller and 2 were bigger than me. I chose a dress that suited them all, they all had their hair as it suited them and shoes they were comfortable in. And when one of them got married, she and her other bridesmaids were all size 10ish, I on the other hand was a 16 and 6 months pregnant!
And by the by, mine and her wedding photos were stunning, and not an ounce of symmetry between them! grin

I would not bother going at all now and write the reason on the RSVP if I were you

QuintessentialOHara Mon 29-Apr-13 19:04:37

Wow. What a shallow cow.

But ouch, that hurt!

This woman has not behaved like a friend at all. And she did not even have the grace to lie.... sad

Maxium12 Mon 29-Apr-13 19:05:21

This is such an outrageous thing for one friend to say to the other that I'm having trouble believing someone could be that much of a vain self centred bitch.

If it is really genuine then dump her after sending her a link to this thread.

olgaga Mon 29-Apr-13 19:10:02

Shocking! She is not "one of your best friends" - no way!

I'd be far too busy to go to her wedding.

CatelynStark Mon 29-Apr-13 19:10:48

I would never speak to her again. Ever.

BasketzatDawn Mon 29-Apr-13 19:11:43

Goodness, and she's a friend? At least you've got till next year to decide whether you want to attend her wedding. You can save on the present and buy yourself some chocolate! I'm not making light of it, BTW - you've had excellent responses from others. I'd be very hurt indeed in the same circs. And I don't think my feelings for such a 'friend' would ever wholly recover. You can always sleep on it, see how you feel later, but no harm in telling her what she said was vv nasty.

AaDB Mon 29-Apr-13 19:14:15

OP, you have unanimous support. thanks

I don't feel the same way about my sil. She had 7ish bridesmaids, her DH had the same number of groomsmen, including my DH and ds. I have known her for almost 25 years, she included her new sil of two years acquaintance. My oh was invited to the stag weekend, I was not invited to the hen. If someone is shallow enough to choose people based on how the wedding photographs look, they deserve what they get.

TidyDancer Mon 29-Apr-13 19:17:55

Your friend is a shitbag and I wouldn't go to the wedding if I was in your shoes tbh.

I was a bridesmaid for the same friend twice, once at a size 22, then years later at her second wedding, I was a size 10. Then when her sister got married, I was an 8-month-pregnant bridesmaid. grin

MrsOakenshield Mon 29-Apr-13 19:22:32

god, that's awful OP. Let's hope she approaches her marriage with rather more maturity than she's approaching her wedding!

Jipster Mon 29-Apr-13 19:24:34

OP YANBU - she is shallow and superficial. Have these flowers please

mrsjay Mon 29-Apr-13 19:28:07

I would tell her to shove her wedding up her skinny arse sorry that is horrible she isn't your friend she is superficiial and shallow, that is terrible she hurt you like that ,

Gemini1974 Mon 29-Apr-13 19:28:51

The bride, not you OP!

SanitaryOwl Mon 29-Apr-13 19:31:44

What an utter fucking bitch this bride is. Never heard anything so ridiculous. Dump her.

Finola1step Mon 29-Apr-13 19:34:33

Agree with MrsOak. Your friend needs to wake up pretty damn quick. I just don't get this "my perfect day at all cost" mentality.

She's no friend. Take a deep breath and see her for what she is. I believe that things like weddings can show people to be what they truly are. Your friend is shallow and judgemental. Her true colours are coming out now because she thinks she can say and do whatever she likes as its her "big day". Luckily for you, you have found out now before investing more time and energy into this "friendship". Be polite but slowly step back. Sadly she's so wrapped up in herself, she probably won't notice.

MissLurkalot Mon 29-Apr-13 19:38:40

With friends like that, who needs enemies!

Ignore all contact from her... Nasty nasty piece of work she is.
How bloody dare she say that..
Can't compute it... Please don't reply to her.
Literally, cut her off. She is pure toxic.
So sorry you've been treated this way. :-(

IHateSafeStyle Mon 29-Apr-13 19:40:39

What a bitch shock

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