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To be upset that good friend did not ask me to be maid of honor?

(260 Posts)
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mon 29-Apr-13 17:56:06

One of my best friends is getting married next year, on a girls night out she mentioned that she will picking bridesmaids and maid of honor in the next few weeks, we have been good friends for 7 years and I thought I would be included, but at the end of the day its her wedding and she can do what she wants.

On facebook I saw a few of her friends were delighted to be chosen for either a bridesmaid or maid of honor, did not really give it much thought other than oh well.

Saw friend today who wanted to explain why I wasn't included, she said although I was her best friend and wanted me to be maid of honor she asked another friend as they are slim and would look better on the photo's. sad I was ok with not being included, but wish she had not explained her reasons why. Feeling really hurt.

StephaniePowers Wed 01-May-13 17:40:55

Wow, you handled that so well!
I feel a bit sorry for your ex-friend, she handled a difficult situation extremely poorly and she will have learned a lesson about hurting friends.
I have had a few things pointed out to me by my inlaws about my appearance and it hurts very much but sadly I can't detach with the grace which you have shown.

shewhowines Wed 01-May-13 17:54:59

You are hurting but she does realise just what an arse she has been about it. I can understand her choosing her sister and niece over you, but why didn't she just tell you the truth?

Maybe over time, if she is genuinely sorry, you will both get over this and resume your friendship. It's such a shame to both lose something you value because of a admittedly severe and stupid mistake on her part.

Continue to be civil and see how you feel a few months down the line.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Wed 01-May-13 18:41:49

Thanks all for your kind words again.

I did feel a little sorry for her, but could not let it have an impact on my life.

Her sister has a lot of issues (hardly a surprise) they have been a few other instances of weirdness on her part, she just has not a kind word to say about anyone and its come back and bit her on the bum more times than that. She feels the world is against her.

I had a lovely day out with another friend, funnily was not able to find a dress (never can when I looking) but had a nice lunch and bought myself 2 pairs of shoes (my weakness)

pigletmania Wed 01-May-13 19:39:05

Than what a sad life your ex friend will have trying to please someone who cannot be pleased, I hope for her sake she learns sooner rather than later

ShipwreckedAndComatose Wed 01-May-13 19:54:19

See, I can kind of get her choosing her sister over you and how difficult it is to learn to say no to such a complete controlling bitch. I can see that this might take years of unlearning for her.

But she could have come up with a better way of breaking it to you. Some way of trying to let you down gently. confused

MissLurkalot Wed 01-May-13 21:27:52

I think you're brilliant OP... Seriously. Xxx

olgaga Wed 01-May-13 21:41:41

OP you're obviously someone who is full of real character - well done to you.

Hope you enjoy your shoes, your freedom from this absurd hassle, and the nice holiday you'll have with your DH. Credit to him too.


digerd Thu 02-May-13 07:35:10

My SIS had children - nieces- as her bridesmaids. Don't remember who her maid of Honour was - she certainly did not ask me to be it, but never gave it a thought < until now>.

fromparistoberlin Thu 02-May-13 08:22:54

sometimes I love MN!

this thread I hope gave you the courage to stick up for yourself and tell a complete bitch to fuck off

I know its not easy, but you stuck up for yourself

brava OP

ConfusedPixie Thu 02-May-13 08:46:07

I wish I was as collected as you op, I would never be able to face her again, let alone have a discussion about it!

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