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To want to change my daughters first name?

(15 Posts)
Amykins35 Mon 29-Apr-13 14:39:17

When I was pregnant I discussed names I liked with DPs sister. My favourite was also hers, she said she had fertility issues and would be lucky to get pregnant/that it'd take years and may require assistance and asked that I please didn't use the name as she had her heart set on it since childhood. I agreed.
When DD was born we had two other names we liked, though none came close to my favourite. A few hours after DD was born DP kept asking which name I preferred out of the two and I eventually picked to keep him quiet.

Now SIL is pregnant, first month after getting married. The 5 month scan has shown baby is a girl and she's picked a completely different name. My DD is now 11 months and her name still doesn't feel right to me. I appreciate its late to change it, but it'll be her name forever.

AIBU to want to change it?

MrsLettuce Mon 29-Apr-13 14:40:37


Smartieaddict Mon 29-Apr-13 14:42:23

YANBU, what does your DP think?

Graciescotland Mon 29-Apr-13 14:44:02

Don't know whether it's unreasonable or not but I do know that for £40 the registrar will cancel original birth certificate and issue on with a new name within one year of birth so your DD would never have to know...Maybe just insert it as a middle name and use it?

Justforlaughs Mon 29-Apr-13 14:44:03

I'd change it if I felt that strongly about it. At 11 months old she is young enough to get away with it, if you don't do it know then it will be too late. How does your DP feel about it?

Amykins35 Mon 29-Apr-13 14:48:48

Haven't mentioned it to him yet - wasn't sure if I was being weird and unreasonable.

I don't have any family or friends, DP has family who have only seen her a few times so I don't feel it's that big a deal, though am torn and worried it'll be strange for elder DD and strange for DD herself as she responds to her name

Crinkle77 Mon 29-Apr-13 14:51:32

Your SIL sounds like a bit of a cow to ask you not to choose a name cos she had her heart set on it then not even pick it for her own. Maybe was jealous? Not sure about the legalities but maybe you could go with Gracie's idea

Amykins35 Mon 29-Apr-13 14:52:43

Yes I'd looked into it and was thinking sooner rather than later for that reason

NoMoreMarbles Mon 29-Apr-13 14:57:17

TBH i don't think YABU to feel like changing it but i think as she responds to the name she has now it would be confusing to her to all of a sudden be called by a totally different name.

if she was a couple of months old then maybe but she is almost 1 and your older DD has known her for almost a year by the name she has now. it would be a little unreasonable for those reasons to change it now IMO

would you not maybe get an animal and call it the name you love? or are you planning on any more children? or add it to your DDs name ad a middle name like previously suggested?

quidget7882 Mon 29-Apr-13 15:02:03

This happened to me, my parents (30 odd years ago) gave me a ridiculously long name and decided 11 months on that they didn't like it and changed it officially just before I turned 1. I don't remember being called the other name, I've always just been me so in that respect it was never confusing for me. The only slight hiccup came when I was around 10 yrs old and found both my original name certificate and the new one - I was convinced I had a secret twin sister grin

As far as I'm aware the only times I need to declare the old name is if I emigrate or commit a crime - don't intend doing either!

HazleNutt Mon 29-Apr-13 15:03:37

YANBU, she's so young, she will get used to the new one. Will be worse if you end up always regretting the wrong name.

Deadhamsterssmell Mon 29-Apr-13 15:13:48

If you feel that strongly about the name then you will regret not changing when you had the chance.

JackieTheFart Mon 29-Apr-13 15:31:02

YANBU, but I don't really get why you wouldn't not call your child your favourite name to keep your SIL happy? They will be cousins, no siblings, so it really doesn't matter, does it?

MiniPenguinMaker Mon 29-Apr-13 15:37:57

How exciting! Do it, do it smile

You did the nice thing by not using the name in the first place. Now you get to use it after all, so everyone will be happy smile

MummytoKatie Mon 29-Apr-13 15:46:24

I think that things are much simpler if you do this before your dd's first birthday. So if you are going to do it you should do it NOW.

Phone the registrar today and find out the practicalities of how. If there is a 2 week wait, you need to be on the list before it is too late!

Personally I wouldn't have changed dd's name when she was 11 months as she talked early and was referring to herself with it by then. But dd has the most beautiful name in the world (IMO) so I would say that!

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