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To be cross that DH always says that we never work as a team...

(8 Posts)
TwoForTuesday Mon 29-Apr-13 11:36:54

when I haven't done something for him or tidied up after him.

He works full time. I work part time. We have three children. I do all the housework, food shopping, cooking, laundry, and do the bulk of the childcare, eg even when he is home at the weekend I will make the children's lunch, and bath them.

However I draw the line at being his skivvy. Unfortunately he is leaving more and more things to me such as leaving cups and wrappers everywhere, dirty clothes everywhere, and piles of his clean clothes next to his side of the bed where he won't put them away.

He keeps saying his latest line though, and I feel that he's trying to guilt trip me into doing everything for him and cleaning up after him. He said that we don't work as a team fairly recently when I hadn't tidied up some things he'd left out, and he said it wasn't a big deal for me to tidy them as it would only take seconds. And then he said it at the weekend when I told him I'd put a pile of clean, dried, ironed and folded (all done by me) laundry on the bed and he just needed to put his bits away.

I feel in a way like I need to try to please him all the time but sometimes I think there is no pleasing him at all.

Pilgit Mon 29-Apr-13 11:51:50

I think you know he's being a twat. If it's not such a hassle why doesn't he just do it? He is being disrespectful. You both have full time jobs - yours is just split between a job and childcare. suggest to him that if he wants a servant he should pay for one. till he's prepared to do that he needs to stop being a lazy twat. You might find better advice in relationships.

ChaoticTranquility Mon 29-Apr-13 12:07:46

Next time he says you're not working as a team say "You're right we're not working as a team because you are not pulling your weight."

Point out to him that you're not his skivvy and if something will only take you seconds then it would only take him seconds as well and him expecting you to clear his mess is disrespectful.

YANBU

StuntGirl Mon 29-Apr-13 12:19:27

What Chaotic said!

KellyElly Mon 29-Apr-13 12:55:38

If he works full time and you work part time and do all the housework and take care of the children, then he is the one not working as a team as he puts it. You are doing above and beyond what he is.

littleflowerlady Mon 29-Apr-13 12:58:07

YANBU!

He'd get a punch on the nose if he was doing/saying that to me!!!

Jinty64 Mon 29-Apr-13 13:21:26

Time to draw up a "team plan" where everything that needs to get done is divided equally! He can get credit for the few extra hours he works and then you can be ensured of team work.

My dh certainly doesn't pull his weight or do his fair share but he would never criticise what I do.

Tortington Mon 29-Apr-13 13:30:18

you are going about this the wrong way

let me tell you a story.

I have never ironed DHs clothes - hes a grown up he can do his own.

Last week for god knows what reason - I was up and spring like at 6am.

I ironed DH's shirt for work.

It's the first time ive done that in YEARS

he was super chuffed and grateful.

Dear op - in your shoes I would tell him ' keep your managerial soundbites at work you sound like a twat - ive got three kids AND a job to worry about, stop being such a spineless wet arsehat'

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