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to not want this child around my house all the time?

(12 Posts)
ditavonteesed Sun 28-Apr-13 19:26:14

I dont know her parents, they dont know me, they dont know she is at my house (they cant noone has ever checked on her) she is 6 and crosses the road on her own to get here. She is rude and often mean to my children at which point I tell her its time to go home, but I feel mean telling her she cant come. She once came round when we were doing something and I said we arent playing today, she stood in my garden in the rain for 5 mins, I felt sorry for her so let her in. She is often playing out the front on her own, I think her parents chuck her out. She used my very expensive new make up. But is it horrible to tell her I dont want her here, she is banned from both the neighbours houses who have kids becasue her behaviour is so bad. My kids have never been to her house, we have a few houses on the street that the kids are in and out of but it is resiprical and I know all the parents. My kids said she had asked them back to hers the other day and I said no becasue I dont know (or trust) her parents and they do not cross the road without an adult. Oh my kids have now said they dont want her here as she is not kind to them.

BonaDrag Sun 28-Apr-13 19:28:32

I think rather than banning her, it would be kinder to find out if she is being neglected and inform SS.

Cakecrumbsinmybra Sun 28-Apr-13 19:33:24

YANBU to not want a random child in your house all the time, but I agree that you should maybe investigate a bit more. Have you tried walking her back home and speaking to her parents? Also, I think it perfectly reasonable to tell a 6yo that there are rules in your house that she must abide to if she's going to come in - or she's not allowed. She's not a toddler.

At the end of the day though, if she's making your DC unhappy when she comes over then it's not a situation that can last too long is it?

ditavonteesed Sun 28-Apr-13 19:46:50

I dont think that she is being neglected although obvously it is something I have thought long and hard about (i have done safeguarding courses)

mrspaddy Sun 28-Apr-13 19:50:11

I think walking her back to her house as cakecrumb said is your best option and then you can make a judgement on SS. God help the little girl.

fuzzypicklehead Sun 28-Apr-13 20:28:55

I'm sorry, what kind of parents let their 6 year old child cross a busy road and enter the house of people they've never met?

ditavonteesed Sun 28-Apr-13 20:46:27

she is often here or at one of the other neighbours houses for 4 hours, noone has ever checked on her. her mum came over once to collect her about a year ago. I dont let mine cross the road as it is a typical terraced street with cars parked on both sides of the road and no visability.

thenightsky Sun 28-Apr-13 20:50:03

'her mum came over once to collect her about a year ago'

shock so she was crossing the road alone back when she was only 5? Jeez.

ditavonteesed Sun 28-Apr-13 20:52:15

she has been crossing the road for at least 2 years, but only started coming here a year ago.

BonaDrag Sun 28-Apr-13 22:07:28

It's not right. Accepting that everyone has their own parenting styles, allowing a child of that age to wander out alone and go to people's houses on a regular basis is not in any sense good parenting. Neglect comes in many forms and this is one of them.

CaptainSweatPants Sun 28-Apr-13 22:09:46

Poor kid

Beckamaw Sun 28-Apr-13 22:16:12

We had the same with a 5 yr old.
The first time she asked to come in, I walked her back to her house to check it was OK with her Mum. I told her I wouldn't want my girls playing in a house if I didn't know where they were.
Knocked the door and explained. The mother just shrugged. confused

If my 10 yr old buggered off into some stranger's house, I would be worried and furious. She knows this though, and she's not allowed to just wander off anyway.

Some parents make me angry.
YANBU.

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