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To allow my ds to do all the activities he does?

(27 Posts)
ShawnSpencersPineapple Sun 28-Apr-13 15:03:46

My dh says that our son does to many activities, however having casually chatted to other school mums in RL it appears he is only doing what the others are doing (and this is why he does the activities he does as his friends invite him to join them).

He currently does:
Mon - ASC to 6pm
Tue - ASC to 6pm
Thu - ASC to 5pm
Sat - music conservatoire
Sun - rugby

However rugby has now come to an end and he'd like to start this:

Mon - Cricket after ASC
Tue - ASC
Wed - Football
Thu - ASC to 5pm
Fri - Cricket
Sat - Music
Sun - day of rest!!! grin

AIBU to allow him to do this, or is DH right and it's too much?

olibeansmummy Sun 28-Apr-13 15:05:39

Sounds ok to me, if that's what he wants to do. What are the ASCs?

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sun 28-Apr-13 15:07:07

You don't say how old he is?

To me it seems a lot, but if he is happy and you can afford it, what is the substance of your dh's concern?

ShawnSpencersPineapple Sun 28-Apr-13 15:07:21

ASC - after school club.

He needs to stay at school until then due to working hours, but he gets to choose which clubs he stays for (therefore dh says this is more activities I say it's ds making the best of a bad situation).

Sirzy Sun 28-Apr-13 15:07:36

ASC is after school club?

Does sound a lot, when does he get a chance to just play?

that said if he is happy and parents are happy to do any running around then no problem.

My dd does zumba on a monday, art club on a tuesday, choir on a wednesday, boxing on a thursday, dancing on a friday and saturday and has a day off on a sunday and she is fine. Its worth a try for a few weeks to see how it goes and if its too tiring then you can drop one or two activities.

ShawnSpencersPineapple Sun 28-Apr-13 15:08:25

DH says he (ds) needs time to just chill out at home, ds gets bored and isn't good at entertaining himself (admittedly prob cause he's always had a full schedule).

Euphemia Sun 28-Apr-13 15:10:18

I think it's too much. He's never going to learn to amuse himself, to explore, to use his imagination, if his life it so structured.

Sirzy Sun 28-Apr-13 15:11:23

I think if he can't entertain himself then you husband may have a point. It is good for children to be bored and then find something to do rather than having everything planned.

ShawnSpencersPineapple Sun 28-Apr-13 15:11:51

Euphemia - are you my husband?!

For pp who asked what dh's argument was Euphmeia has just written it! smile

Floralnomad Sun 28-Apr-13 15:16:34

But apart from ASC he doesn't do that much and as you say the ASC is for your convenience .it would seem a bit mean to say he can't go to cricket ,for example, because he has to do ASC ,IYSWIM. Personally I'd rather he was doing what he is doing than sitting at home on a computer / games console ,there's enough time for that when he's a teenager .

Euphemia Sun 28-Apr-13 15:16:56

smile

I've seen it in reverse with DD (10). Before we moved to a street full of children in Jan 2012, she had to amuse herself a lot. She drew, painted, made Lego models, created whole Sylvanian worlds - she was great at amusing herself!

Not so much now - she'll just mope about waiting for her friends to call on her. Whilst it's great that she's out playing, I think we've lost the wonder of her playing by herself. I don't quite know how to get that back. sad

SwishSwoshSwoosh Sun 28-Apr-13 15:24:20

Your DH has a point, euphemia has made it well for him!

BlackeyedSusan Sun 28-Apr-13 15:25:37

I think it is quite a lot. however, I imagine some people like more sport and routine and organised activities. <shudder>

Fleecyslippers Sun 28-Apr-13 15:27:23

I'm knackered just reading that list wink

It depends what after schools involves -is it just playing/arty crafty/gardening type stuff where he can take himself off with a book if he wants, or is t all fairly rigid and structured as well ?

ShawnSpencersPineapple Sun 28-Apr-13 15:50:00

Monday is board games and stamp collecting
Tuesday is football
Thursday is free play (where ds is concerned this means finding a football and seeing who wants a game!)

Flora that's how I feel about ASC, that's for his dad and my convenience not for ds. He's choosing cricket, football and music.

I did ask Dh if he'd rearrange his hours so we could remove ASC from the equation I was met with a hmm which I knew full well I would be!

kinkyfuckery Sun 28-Apr-13 15:53:02

If your DS is happy to do all those activities, and you're happy ferrying him around and making arrangements, I don't see the harm.
(I don't see after school club as an activity, though, to be honest, if it's needed for 'childcare' purposes).
Has he still got time for homework/reading etc?

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 28-Apr-13 15:58:22

Is day that's pretty reasonable. Dd is us year 6 and does

Monday contemporary dance 6.45-7.15
Tuesday Ballet tap & modern dance 4.15 - 7.15
Wednesday Street Dance 4.00-4.30
Thursday hdlf hour piano lesson
Friday Stagecoach 4.39-7.30
Saturday either ballet 12-1 or Dance rehearsal 1-2pm
Sunday Show rehearsals usually 10-1 but today was 10-4

TheSnowFairy Sun 28-Apr-13 16:12:02

DS 2 (age 8, year 4) does:

Mon: free
Tues: Piano 5-5.30 Sea Scouts 6.30 - 8
Weds: Drama 5.30 - 6.30
Thurs: free
Fri: Choir (school) 3.15 - 4.15 Kayaking 4.30 - 5.45
Sat: Choir (outside school) 10 - 11

DS 1 age 11 (year 6) does slightly less but has lots of school trips coming up.

DD age 4 (reception year) doesn't do anything yet.

How old is your DS?

Floralnomad Sun 28-Apr-13 16:34:40

I think it sounds like a nice mix of activities and he is free most evenings to entertain himself .

musicposy Sun 28-Apr-13 17:04:29

My DD2 who admittedly is 13 when these things take more time, does
Ballet 4x a week
Singing lessons
Harp lessons
Piano lessons (OK, I teach her this but it still has to be practised)
Youth theatre
Ice skating - used to be 4x a week but we've dropped it down a bit

She does too much, I think. But she loves it all and won't drop any of it. We've already dropped tap and modern so you can imagine her schedule. On top of this she regularly auditions for pantomime, ballet shows, am dram productions etc. I've put my foot down a bit over that too. It got ridiculous doing 2 or 3 things a night.

I do worry sometimes where her childhood is - I used to spend hours just playing out - but she is adamant she enjoys it all. As long as you can afford it I'd be guided by your son and what he says he wants to do.

Portofino Sun 28-Apr-13 17:08:36

I agree with Euphimia too. Why does every minute need to be packed with organised activities? I would get him to choose between football and cricket.

bombyxmori Sun 28-Apr-13 17:14:19

But cricket is summer only?

Agree OP, "that's how I feel about ASC, that's for his dad and my convenience not for ds. He's choosing cricket, football and music. --
I did ask Dh if he'd rearrange his hours so we could remove ASC from the equation I was met with a which I knew full well I would be!"

Cricket, football and music out of choice sounds fine - and a good compromise otherwise you might have him hating ASC.

Does DP have some idea what he wants him to give up? (= agenda?) Or is it just a throw-away oh-so-helpful idea?

BackforGood Sun 28-Apr-13 17:15:29

Sounds fine to me. He's actually only doing music on a Sat and Rugby on a Sunday which is not a lot for a child.
If he does what he wants to start, then it's 3 things in the evenings and 1 at the weekends. Again, I don't think that's too much at all.
Of course, it depends a bit if 'cricket' is a club for an hour, or some round trip of 60miles to some training that is on for 3 and 1/2 hours and therefore the whole night taken up.
If you can afford both the subs and the time to get him there, I don't see the problem

shockers Sun 28-Apr-13 18:19:38

I'd let him go to cricket, but that's because I know my son (yr 8) and he copes with lots of activities.... always has.

DS does football, rugby or cricket (depending on the season) after school on Mondays. Then swim training/ church youth club on alternate weeks in the evening.

Tues, athletics after school and then a match for his football club in the evening.

Wed, school cricket, then swimming with us in the evening.

Thurs, same as Wed.

Fri, soccer skills session at local YMCA 5-6.30pm, swimming club 8-9pm.

Sat, swimming club 8-9am (pool), land training 9.15-10.15am (circuits), then a free day, where he'll usually go to the tennis courts, then play out with friends.

Sun, church, football match for team, swimming club in the evening 6.15-8pm.

He also does his homework without being nagged and is always up for a bike ride or an extra swim at the health club with us. He reads and loves board games too. He's never been much of an imaginative player, but that's just him and it hasn't spoiled his enjoyment of life at all. If he stays still for too long, he gets restless and grouchy, so we let him keep moving! He's a lovely lad with loads of friends smile.

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