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Toddlers and ear piercing

(141 Posts)
nellyjelly Sun 28-Apr-13 07:24:16

AIBU to think this is just wrong?

In a shop today and a mother was literally holding her 2 year old down while the piercer put the earrings in. One ear already done and child screaming, so she knew what was coming on the second ear.

Bloody barbaric. I don't mind pierced ears and when my DD is old enough to make the choice she can have it done. But a baby? How come it is even legal?

treesntrees Sun 28-Apr-13 21:07:19

Hollyberrybush the facial scars were originally cut during slaving days so that if a child was taken as a slave they would be able to find their way home once the period of enslavement was over. I'm not talking about the imperial slavers but the slave wars between tribes which still happened in the twentieth century in Nigeria. My husbands uncle who was 98 when he died had been taken in a slave war and was able to find his way home because of his tribal scars.

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Sun 28-Apr-13 21:06:15

It should be illegal, there is no excuse for inflicting pain on a small child for no good reason. It's not comparable to vaccinations which save lives, whereas ear piercing is done for purely aesthetic/social reasons. Nobody ever died of horror from being mistaken for a boy, just ask my unpierced, short haired, superman top wearing DD(2)!

I once saw a baby, around 9 months old having her ears pierced, she howled after the first one and two people (presumably the mother and grandmother) were quite aggressively restraining her to allow the shop assistant to pierce the other one. I honestly felt sick and couldn't get out of there quick enough!

Unacceptable Sun 28-Apr-13 20:55:18

My DD is 6 and has been asking for 'real' earrings with holes for 2 years.
I am torn about letting her have it done but every now and then an AIBU thread pops up like this and makes me think I should keep saying not yet to her.
Last time this was discussed someone posted a link to some youtube videos and that was pretty upsetting to watch.

SquirrelNuts Sun 28-Apr-13 20:50:14

YANBU it should be illegal until theyre 9/10 i dont really know what an appropriate age is. I wouldnt make a decision about something permanent for my DD that she may not like or want when shes older its not fair! Plus I hate ear piercings on babies/toddlers in my opinion its stupid, and looks ridiculous

BlackMaryJanes Sun 28-Apr-13 20:37:10

Interesting reading: Is it child abuse to pierce a baby's ears?

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 28-Apr-13 20:30:17

remote some branches would tell parents that they had no one trained to do ear piercing to get out of doing babes and toddlers but we weren't that lucky

hwjm1945 Sun 28-Apr-13 20:28:11

I think it is considered quite chavvy in the UK to have child's ears pierced.Isn't it? We were all about 14 when we were finally allowed to have it done and even then my quite patrician grandmother was a little sniffy

Remotecontrolduck Sun 28-Apr-13 20:22:46

I hope people don't flame you for it, you can't pick and choose which part of a job you do!

I'm glad you don't do it if the child is wriggling a lot, but it must be horrendous to have to pierce a crying child. There should be some kind of regulation to stop this happening.

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 28-Apr-13 20:18:59

Thanks remote have to admit I was relieved if I got a wriggler

Remotecontrolduck Sun 28-Apr-13 20:15:43


Remotecontrolduck Sun 28-Apr-13 20:15:17

Wannabestepfordwife I understand you're predicament, jobs are hard to come by these days and you can't just say no.

There should definitely be a ban for babies and toddlers, there's no way they can express an opinion on the procedure, or appreciate the look of earrings. It's just painful and uneccessary for them.

MyTushTingles Sun 28-Apr-13 20:07:06

Umlauf, you're not a million miles from us. Funny how there they do the pink thing there, here it's the total opposite. DD has never worn pink and talking about it to local friends they were quite surprised at the funny English obsession with pink for girls and blue for boys.

I only know of one friend here that said an old lady asked her if her DD was a boy because she didn't have her ears done. Her DD is 4 and was wearing pink at the time and long hair in bunches. She said that is the only comment she has ever had about it and her DD goes to nursery/school.

Wannabestepfordwife Sun 28-Apr-13 20:06:45

I'm going to get flamed for this but I'm an awful person who did the piercing. I have to admit when I started doing it the thought made me sick but it was part of the job so had to do it.

Babies and toddlers found it far less traumatic then 5+ and we would always do a dual piercing so it was over as quick as possible. If a child was moving a lot and I was unable to mark the ear then the child would not get pierced.

NoWayPedro Sun 28-Apr-13 19:59:54

YANBU - wrong in my book

Umlauf Sun 28-Apr-13 19:56:13

Hi tush, a fellow expat! We're in the Basque Country (san sebastian) and there are plenty of un pierced tourist babies so I'm not too worried about judgement, only school really. I had no idea there were places of Spain where its not the norm! Its not such a multicultural city but being different themselves the basques seem to be quite accepting so I'd hope they'd be kind at school. My child will already be an outsider being english, and even as a baby I'm not going to do the tree pink frilly thing they love here, so ill be well used to people thinking she's a boy!

I was told the sign of wealth thing too, but agree with you, I think its a very dated opinion. I don't think its disgusting as the little girls I know wear tiny delicate little studs and it suits them as little Spanish babies, but its just not something I'd feel comfortable doing with my daughter, for exactly the same reasons the Spanish do it, my culture! It just doesn't feel right to do so.

MyTushTingles Sun 28-Apr-13 19:33:24

Umlauf, what part of Spain are you in? We live in one of the major cities and the locals pierce their daughters ears. I think it's disgusting but have been told it's supposed to be a sign of wealth hmm Although the chavs do like to hang gold blinging earrings off their babies, so for that reason I think the sign of wealth thing is dying out. Thankfully because the city is so multicultural it isn't the norm now and we see lots of little girls without ear piercings.

You child will not get bullied over not having their ears pierced, please don't feel pressure and do it because you think you have to.

mikkii Sun 28-Apr-13 19:32:43

My husband is half Spanish half Italian whilst I am English. I was very against our DD having her ears pierced, then, when in Spain with DD aged 5 months I saw how much it was expected for her ears to be pierced. I conceded, but insisted he make all the arrangements. He doesn't normally do things like this so I thought that would be the end of it. He took her to the pharmacy ( and they do use a gun in Spain too, even in quite rural areas), sat with her. The earlier poster who says the Spanish are used to doing this for young children is correct, they took loads of time, putting dots of pen on her ears until 3 of them agreed it as the right place for her. She is now 6 and has never had an infection. She isn't allowed earrings for school so taking in/out or tape isn't an issue for us.

DD2 was taken to Spain at 9 months and we planned to pierce hers, but the pharmacist said he couldn't get the best quality earrings and recommended we wait. We did this, but she was certainly more bothered by it, having hers at 22 months. Again, no infections although she reminds people about her ears when removing her tops.

I would not allow DS to have any as I don't like it for boys, although he ask when DD1 got hers done.....

MrBloomsBloomers Sun 28-Apr-13 19:26:23

The haircutting argument would only work if cutting a child's hair caused them physical pain and scarred their body the same way ear piercing does. If you are going to make comparisons, at least choose something similar.

catgirl1976 Sun 28-Apr-13 19:05:28 know cutting hair doesn't actually hurt right? confused

ToysRLuv Sun 28-Apr-13 19:05:20

But then again I'm of the feminist school of "there are ways to look pretty (should one want to, after all most of this is arbitrary/cultural) without pain/discomfort/being impractical".

ToysRLuv Sun 28-Apr-13 19:02:29

Actually, by cutting very long hair shorter you could be saving a girl (or boy) from a lot of recurring pain. I always feel a a bit sad when my DN has her long hair detangled in the morning and pulled into braids or a bun. She winces and whimpers on most days. Much better to cut it short and save the pain for when she can do all of that for herself (that is, if she wants to).

LittleFeileFooFoo Sun 28-Apr-13 18:59:36

I see, you must not like long hair on boys.

I was responding to folks saying it's assault and that's why it should be stopped. It isn't assault, just as cutting your child's hair isn't assault.

It's causing pain when there's no need to cause pain, and I would never do it.

nellyjelly Sun 28-Apr-13 18:55:34

The haircutting argument is bloody stupid and you know it. Totally misses the point.

furbaby Sun 28-Apr-13 18:55:17

I saw a toddler in pushchair yesterday HE looked between 12 and 18 months and was sporting a gold stud in 1 ear !!!
Why oh why sad

LittleFeileFooFoo Sun 28-Apr-13 18:37:16

Cutting someone's hair without their consent is assault too. It doesn't matter that is grows back, it's still a crime to do to someone with out consent.

Do you cut your kid's hair? did they agree at 3? Did they tell you different and you cut it anyway? Do you think boys look bad with long hair, and would you cut your Ds's even if he told you he wanted it long and pretty?

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