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to love farting

(64 Posts)
maddening Sat 27-Apr-13 23:04:33

Post op on codeine - totally constipated and unable to "push" due to surgery - god it feels so good to fart.

Kasterborous Mon 29-Apr-13 21:54:28

Yes I remember post c section on the maternity ward, but my problem was constipation the codeine hadn't helped it took me days to manage to go. When I finally did it was such a relief. I went back to my bed and said to DH 'the eagle has finally landed'!

Kasterborous Mon 29-Apr-13 21:51:06

The best ones are when you are sitting on a hard chair. They really rumble then! I did one a while ago and one year old DD looked at me like hmm!

maddening Mon 29-Apr-13 20:44:29

my friend at my last place had a reputation as a malicious farter - but she did it next to people's desks and ran off afterwards - it did her no favours smile

have been pondering on the subject - farting when you really have to is pretty euphoric as sensations go but the humour aspect as well does really put the icing on the cake - so have decided ianbu farting is fab smile

ComposHat Mon 29-Apr-13 17:48:59

My favourite work based fart trick requires three people in a lift.

Wait until the first person of the three gets out and then release a 'silent but violent' fart.

As the aroma wafts around the lift look in the direction of the person who has just left the lift and roll your eyes, sigh and shake your head.

Before too long that person will have a reputation as a malicious lift farter.

ouryve Mon 29-Apr-13 15:55:05

I had egg and spinach for lunch.

Tasty, with loud and pungent after-effects grin

MansView Mon 29-Apr-13 15:39:19

I love farting at work... I normally go for a wander around some colleagues desk etc

I love picking my nose in the's addictive smile

ChairmanWow Mon 29-Apr-13 07:26:40

maddening I love you for starting this thread. There is no finer pleasure than letting rip. The louder the better. DH and I do 'fart duets' sometimes. It's beautiful. However my favourite fart of all time was after an endoscopy (during which they inflate your stomach with air). The ensuing trump must have lasted a full minute. Much hilarity.

BigKidsMadeMeDoIt Mon 29-Apr-13 00:15:18

my friend is the most glamorous yummy mummy imaginable. perfect blonde hair, flat tummy (after 3 kids), rich husband, totally together and poised at all times.

if anyone farts in her presence, or if she farts herself, she immediately turns into an 8 year old. she finds it the most brilliant hilarious thing ever. I've seen her lie on the floor (totally sober) lift her legs in the air and let rip and then not be able to get up because she's laughing so much grin

ddubsgirl Sun 28-Apr-13 23:58:20

Ohh farts in the bath grin if laying back it tickles ya fanny grin grin grin

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench Sun 28-Apr-13 23:44:36

And can there be any greater pleasure than farting in the bath? grin

DP can hear me two floors away, apparently

Madlizzy Sun 28-Apr-13 23:37:49

Duck farts (or quack farts) tend to be more prevalent in the morning. I love a good old arse rumble. Best when you're sitting on the floor and it vibrates through the floorboards. grin

OneFingerSjupesUpTheYoni Sun 28-Apr-13 23:24:10

Dp says i fart all the time - i wish i did! I only seem to fart when dp is around tho hmmi can be silent all day, he'll walk in and pffffft my bum goes grin it's a wee warning to him to stop trying to bum me heh heh

NotAnotherPackedLunch Sun 28-Apr-13 23:10:54

Now we're grown up and responsible parents we have to defer the ultimate farting hilarity until the children are safely in bed.
It really wouldn't do for them to tell their teachers the Mummy and Daddy sometimes light their farts. grin

memphis83 Sun 28-Apr-13 23:03:16

Dp calls them air biscuits of love.
He spent 4 years trying to get me to fart in front of him and now I do he wants me to stop as I put his to shame <proud>

maddening Sun 28-Apr-13 22:50:03

well as a vegetarian with ibs I am skilled in this area

saycheeeeeese Sun 28-Apr-13 19:20:12

Lentils produce the most pungently satisfying farts, like something crawled up your arse and died.

Love a fart thread thanks OP, I also love a good bath fart that is so powerful that the bubbles actually splash you!

YNK Sun 28-Apr-13 19:19:36

Hahaha, My DGC (age 2) - "do it AGAIN granny!!!!" Lol!

marzipananimal Sun 28-Apr-13 19:13:39

grin I also like the smell (of my own - not other people's)

marjproops Sun 28-Apr-13 19:11:07

This thread is hilarious tho, and NOT helping me keep anything in as i guffaw!!

and what about the sheet waving when it happens in bed? and Ive also woken up by mine. good thing i sleep alone!

marjproops Sun 28-Apr-13 19:09:09

I DONT pop in front of people tho, i try not to in front of DC either, and the biggest turn-off in a guy would be that in my prescence. just bad manners.

and yes, i know its a natural body function but theres still manners. (mary whitehouse comes back as an mnetter in me!)

DC loves it tho.

I dont mind so much if its on a kids programme or something, poo/burp/fart jokes but not in rl!!!

oops, excuse me, off out of the room again!

peeriebear Sun 28-Apr-13 19:07:56

Since I had 7mo DS my farts sound exactly like a quacking duck. DD2 finds it HILARIOUS. So do I actually grin
The thing that makes me laugh most is when I fart and somebody says "What?" Like, my voice sounds so similar to farts! Or maybe I sound like a duck when I talk.

zeno Sun 28-Apr-13 19:05:38

For added pleasure, stink and volume, consume a hearty bowl of Jerusalem artichoke soup at lunchtime. The rewards should begin around 8pm.

You can thank me in a few days when you've tried it. The things are a bugger to peel, but worth every bit of it.

ouryve Sun 28-Apr-13 19:03:17

A fart, a fart,
It warms your arse,
It gives your bowels ease.
It warms your bed on a winter's night
And suffocates the fleas

According to my ex-FIL

I'm a rather windy person and do enjoy a good fart when I need one, I must admit. First thing in the morning and last one before I go to sleep are my favourites.

marjproops Sun 28-Apr-13 19:02:30

kaster grin my gran was the same! we learnt NVER to go up stairs behind her!

I think its bad manners to fart in front of someone. however...when Im on computer (usually on mn!) i wear headphones listening to radio online too and because I cant hear mine (usually after din dins), because ive headphones on, i think DC cant hear them! (im on a roll atm and shes giggling away, even though i keep going out of the room and saying excuse me!)

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sun 28-Apr-13 18:58:35

grin let's just say any dignity or social convention was erm put to one side in our bay on the maternity ward. I felt a sense of pride and togetherness with my fellow patients grin

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