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AIBU?

Too many questions and too much advice???

19 replies

bubsnumber1 · 27/04/2013 22:20

Hi,

I am pregnant with my first child and due in August. I am just wondering if anyone else gets fed up with the repetition of being asked the same questions and being given the same advice by so many different people or is it just me?
Sometimes I don't mind but other times, I don't want the questions and advice.
Anyone else feels/felt this way (is this normal?) or am i being unreasonable?

Thanks

OP posts:

Report

Notnowcato · 27/04/2013 22:27

YANBU and it is completely normal. On the other hand, it would be as well to get used to it. The questions and advice you get when pregnant is as NOTHING to the advice you'll get when the baby is born. Develop the 'aimless smile, distant gaze' response. Never listen to any of the advice. Never allow yourself to think about it. Good luck!!

bubsnumber1 · 27/04/2013 22:32

Notnowcato, What does YANBU mean? Am new to all this ;)

Thanks for advice. I'm not really listening to the bits i don't want to. Just bugs me with people who think they know everything because they've had children and people who are majorly opinionated about what you should and shouldn't do!!! I do appreciate some advice tho :)

OP posts:

PoppyWearer · 27/04/2013 22:36

You Are Not Being Unreasonable (YANBU).

But....get a hard hat and some very thick skin. You're going to have advice coming out of your ears from now on.

PoppyWearer · 27/04/2013 22:36

(And congrats)

bubsnumber1 · 27/04/2013 22:41

Oh I have thick skin.

Sometimes harder to shrug things off than other times tho. Maybe it's just the wonderful hormones!!!

Thanks too.

OP posts:

elQuintoConyo · 27/04/2013 22:48

Yadefinitelynbu

You'll soon perfect the 'smile and nod' technique.

As a past Mumsnetter said: it'll continue until they're 18'. At least.

The best advice I had was from my cousin: listen to all advice politely, take note of what you agree with and discard the rest.

And when someone starts to tell a birth horror story about their sister's boss's best friend, ask them 'is this a hortible story? Only, I don't care for them, thanks'.

Advie over!

Congratulation ͺ

Oh.... and there's a link somewhere wherr you can find out all the acronym meanings: aibu, yabu, ttc, elcs, ltb etc, you'll soon get used to it.

bubsnumber1 · 27/04/2013 22:54

Thanks. Just found the link, it's going to take me a while to get used to all the abbreviations i think. Didn't realise there could be so many!!!

OP posts:

maddening · 27/04/2013 23:02

There are a finite number of things to say/ask about a pregnancy - people feel obliged to ask and say these things so as to take an interest.

Then there are the people that feel compelled to offer advice - and there are a finite number of advice topics relating to pregnancy.

The same applie once you have had the baby - it is just cliched small talk :)

CitrusyOne · 27/04/2013 23:03

What pissed me off was all the contradictory shite that people used to tell me, and all the bollocksy old wives' tales. I think I actually told the midwife once 'I'm sick of all the bullshit now'.

Hiccups means a healthy baby.

You're carrying all up front you're having a boy.

If you crave this, that and the other it means your going to give birth to a puppy.

BULLSHIT.

Springforward · 27/04/2013 23:06

YANBU at all. Sadly I don't have any good advice for dealing with it though as I don't think I do deal with it well....

bubsnumber1 · 27/04/2013 23:10

Maddening, I think you are right when you say people feel obliged to ask so as to take an interest. It does take some really effort not to bite peoples heads off sometimes tho, lol!

On the other hand, I know i would hate it if nobody asked and took an interest in my pregnancy and bubs. Nobody can win with a pregnant woman, haha!!!

Although like others have said, once bubs is born and the advice pours in, wondering if i'll feel the same as I do at the moment

OP posts:

Dorris83 · 27/04/2013 23:28

Congratulations! I had my pfb two weeks ago. During my pregnancy I had the following conversations ALL THE TIME...
Them: 'How are you feeling?'
Me: 'great thanks!'
Them: 'you look tired...'
Me: 'oh...'
This was often then followed with 'ah well, you'll soon know what it is to be REALLY tired ...'

I mean seriously? How do you respond to that?!

Friends who haven't been pregnant before we're also funny (exasperating...). I did everything by the book in this pregnancy as I had a miscarriage a year before and was inclined to be SUPER careful about everything. So I didn't touch a drop of alcohol, stuck to the guidelines on what you should avoid eating, etc.
a few friends commented 'oh when I'm pregnant I don't think I'll worry about that... '
Hmmm I just nodded and thought 'we'll see!!'
So you're definitely not being unreasonable!
I

woowoo22 · 28/04/2013 02:07

How are you feeling? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? Sharrruuuup! Especially bad at work, couldn't speak to anyone without being asked the same boring questions. But as a pp said, if they'd not commented I'd have been pissed off too :-)

IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat · 28/04/2013 09:22

I'm due with my first in August too, and so far it hasn't really bothered me. I know it's par for the course and I have asked the 'when are you due?', 'do you know what you're having?' type questions to lots of people before, it's just the done thing isn't it?

As others have said I just ignore the things I'm not interested in - I cut off anybody telling me labour horror stories, because really why would I want to listen to that? and skip over when people say things like my lack of sleep now is preparing me for when the baby is here. Really, I can expect I terry pets sleep come August can I?!!

I've found it quite nice on the whole, and I am not somebody who likes being the centre of attention.

SueDoku · 28/04/2013 10:37

Nod and smile, nod and smile -- mine are 35 and 39 and I'm STILL nodding and smiling... so you've got plenty of time to practice. Listen, sift, ignore - and do what YOU feel is right for you and your PFB

Enjoy your baby

tethersend · 28/04/2013 10:43

You know what the worst thing is?

I now do this to others. I can't help myself.

I'm so disproportionately proud that I've managed to keep two babies alive, that I feel compelled to dispense my infinite wisdom at the drop of a hat.

I know I'm doing it.

I know I'm doing it WHILE I'm doing it.

But I just can't stop. It's a compulsion.

God, I'm such a wanker

whitewineforme · 28/04/2013 10:47

YANBU. I had my first 10 months ago, and got quite fed up of people giving pointless advice and also commenting on my size e.g. 'ooh you look massive today'! I used to smile and nod while gritting my teeth.

Birth stories are the worst. I was heavily pregnant when a lady at work started telling me a story about her friend losing a baby at birth. It was upsetting and completely insensitive, and I had to cut her off. So don't feel bad about doing that with any piece of advice or story that you would rather not hear.

SomethingOnce · 28/04/2013 13:04

You have three+ months to practice nodding and smiling while ignoring

SomethingOnce · 28/04/2013 13:05

Ah well, tethers, at least you're a self-aware wanker

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