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To not want someone I went to school with starting work in same office as me?

(27 Posts)
ODearMe Sat 27-Apr-13 21:17:52

I know this is really petty, but a girl who went to the same primary school and secondary school as me will be starting work in my office in a more senior position.

I have nothing against this person, she is perfectly pleasant but I can't shake the feeling that i dont want her in my work environment for the following reasons:

1. This girl knows all the people I know, my family, friendship circles etc and I would prefer to be anonymous at work, go in and do my work and go home without people knowing my whole history.

2. My boss is on a power trip and if something is not done to his liking, he will email and copy everyone in the department in. If I ever make a mistake, I would rather not someone I grew up with or thinking I am shit at my job. By the way, I have pulled my boss before but it goes in one ear and out of The other.

3. I don't want someone I went to school with bossing me around!

I can't do anything about it, so I am asking the best way to handle it.


Sparklingbrook Sat 27-Apr-13 21:20:00

I don't know what to suggest. But I would feel exactly the same in your position. sad

VivaLeBeaver Sat 27-Apr-13 21:23:22

I work with two people I went to school with, also someone I went to brownies with, the sister of a good school friend, and the mother of another school friend.

Never considered it a problem.

Tryharder Sat 27-Apr-13 21:23:48

God, yeah I would hate that as well but nothing you can do about it short of leaving! Is there much scope for moving departments or jobs.

She will probably be lovely to work with though and you will have been worrying for nothing.

Sparklingbrook Sat 27-Apr-13 21:24:19

Will she remember you?

scurryfunge Sat 27-Apr-13 21:25:22

I think you are being a tad unreasonable. People grow up and develop professionally. I've taught 12 year olds in my previous teaching career who are now my work peers in their 30s in a completely different job. You just need to respect people for what they are achieving now and not let it affect your self esteem.

WafflyVersatile Sat 27-Apr-13 21:25:51

Urgh. I would hate this. YANBU.

I would especially hate it because I've moved away a long time ago and I don't want to get in touch with them anyway, let alone have them at my work.

Sparklingbrook Sat 27-Apr-13 21:27:13

That's me too Waffly.

MrBloomsBloomers Sat 27-Apr-13 21:31:33

I wouldn't like it either. I ended up working with a girl I'd been to secondary school with who I'd been best friends with until she tried to kiss my boyfriend right in front of me and I'd ended the friendship. She decided to tell everyone I'd bullied her at school instead. Took a few awkward conversations with the manager before she realised she was being a dick. Frustrating while everyone believe her for about a week though!

ODearMe Sat 27-Apr-13 21:33:17

Oh yes she remembers me! I went for another job recently and as it happened, did my company research where she worked by coincidence! She threw her arms around me and invited me to sit down. Like i said, i have no problem with her, she is lovely.

However, by pure coincidence again, my boss had been into her office on the poach for new staff which is why she is going to be jumping ship. She told him i had been in, and wondered if i was also fishing for new staff, which sent the cogs turning in his mind, and he has made life hard for me ever since as he knows what I was up to!

This isn't about jealousy of her senior position, more I don't want someone I know thinking I am shit at my job if my boss decides to humiliate me in front of her.

Sparklingbrook Sat 27-Apr-13 21:34:50

I bumped into someone at a playgroup years ago who I went to school with. I immediately recognised her voice without even seeing her. She went on to tell me about what everyone in our year was doing now. hmm

Still18atheart Sat 27-Apr-13 21:40:58


It would annoy me too. I have very much a personally life and a professional life. And never shall the two meet.

thermalsinapril Sat 27-Apr-13 21:44:02

If you can make friends with her and get her on your side, I'm sure she won't give two hoots what the boss says.

harrietlichman Sat 27-Apr-13 21:50:30

You have two options here - you can look for another job and leave, or you can make it work for you by getting to know her as the adult she is now, rather than the girl you went to school with. She sounds nice, and though it may be a bt strange for the first week or so, within a very short time it will become normal and you will wonder what you worried about. She is unlikely to waltz in and start telling everyone about your family and personal life, and probably has similar misgivings, so make her welcome and see what happens.

ODearMe Sat 27-Apr-13 21:57:04

Thanks guys, I appreciate your advice!

kiwimumof2boys Sat 27-Apr-13 22:05:55

Oh god every job I've had since uni there has been someone from my school there (the joys of living in a small country and near where I grew up!)
I can see where you're coming from, but, from what you've said, it sounds like she's a decent (?) person . . . and even if she was a bit of a b!tch at school, people do change.
Also, you said you were worried about her knowing about your history, friendship circles etc . . . she is probably worried that you know the same stuff about her !
I wouldn't worry about it, but I can understand how you're feeling, having experienced it myself.

Naebother Sat 27-Apr-13 22:11:31

She could be an ally. Unite with her against your boss. They sound like an arse !

Horsemad Sat 27-Apr-13 22:16:38

I'd hate this, I keep my personal life and work life very separate.
Someone I work with is quite friendly with my BIL's best mate so she thinks she's part of our social circle now (despite us never socialising with her!!) & she's always angling for me to get her a date with my eligible BIL! Errr, NO CHANCE grin

Cravingdairy Sat 27-Apr-13 22:28:16

Your boss is the problem, he sounds awful. Do you have an HR team, can you have a chat with them about the situation?

ODearMe Sat 27-Apr-13 22:55:11

Yes Cravendairy, I think you utter nail on the head, I am more worried about the boss!

ODearMe Sat 27-Apr-13 22:55:27

Hit the!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes Sat 27-Apr-13 23:08:16

I'd only be worried about it because of the humiliation by the boss issue TBH. However my colleagues know my DH professionally (his company does business with mine) and it is a bit weird sometimes to walk in on them talking about him, even though they are a lovely bunch and they like and respect him, so I can imagine that this would upset the office dynamics for you.

I ink the best thing would be to try and get her onside re the boss issue

WafflyVersatile Sat 27-Apr-13 23:26:57

She'll soon suss what the boss is like.

ODearMe Sun 28-Apr-13 07:52:43

So long as she doesn't become like the boss, I don't mind!

Sparklingbrook Sun 28-Apr-13 09:21:22

Was she in your school year?

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