I'm 18 weeks pregnant with our first child. I've always fought hard to have a very equal relationship with my DP and, before I was pregnant, we shared housework and decision making etc fairly. Being equal has always been a major issue to me. We both work full time and I don't see why having certain bits between your legs should determine who stacks the dishwasher.
My DP has done nothing at all about preparing for this baby. I am aware that I'm the one growing it and he can help very little with that, but he has left me to do all of the planning and preparing for it. At first I thought it was because he thought it was too soon, or because it seemed abstract to him, but I think he just doesn't see it as his job. I was thinking about it earlier, and realised that I might have well as been a single parent so far for all the help he's offered.
It is my sole responsibility to grow it and birth it, but in my eyes the rest of it should be a joint responsibility. I will be taking maternity leave so I know that I will be the primary carer, but I'm worried that he'll see his fathering role as the occasional pat on the head and then off to do something else.
It seems like a very antiquated approach, and I really didn't think I was procreating with a 1950s-esque man.
So am I being unreasonable? I am aware that hormones are making me a touch sensitive right now. He said earlier that he didn't care if the baby had fingernails, and that made me cry...
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
to expect my DP to be more involved?
30 replies
juniper9 · 27/04/2013 14:40
OP posts:
LindyHemming ·
27/04/2013 15:07
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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