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to feel uncomfortable putting make up on my 4 yo?

(78 Posts)
Flojobunny Sat 27-Apr-13 13:13:09

I know I am BU and I can't explain why.
I've always been one of these parents that said she can't wear nail vanish then I let her get her face painted and a local fete.
She is in a dance show on stage and I have to put foundation, eye shadow and lipstick on her. I've told myself its just stage make up and it isn't the same but as my DD puckers up and says I'm like a grown up now I feel rather uncomfortable with it all. Yet don't have a probably with her dressing up as a nurse or a policeman.
I'm BU aren't I.

yes get her a set as 'stage make up' only. I agree if I had a dd I would be uncomfortable with the grown up bit of make up but do understand that some little girls do like all the 'girly stuff' and want to experiment and copy mum. I know when I was little we loved wearing mums heels and dressing up and used those liquorice torpedo sweets as lipsticks grin as a plaything I don't really see the harm as long as its seen as play and not 'being grown up' or linked to body image eg: oh how pretty you look <in all that slap> etc etc

SirBoobAlot Sun 28-Apr-13 11:16:53

If it's for performance, then it's understandable. The lights make you look terrible otherwise. Still have some interesting photos of us back stage with our make up on.

I think when she says ''I look like a grown up'', I'd be tempted to say something along the lines of "You look like a star!" or whatever, rather than confirming to her that all adults wear make up.

soverylucky Sun 28-Apr-13 11:35:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 28-Apr-13 12:01:24

No they won't stop her going in stage - but shell look awful. Believe me. I've been there.

SomethingOnce Sun 28-Apr-13 12:34:26

A little girl will never look awful.

mrsjay upbraided me for what I wrote earlier, but IMO saying a little girl will look awful is far worse. You might've said something about her features not standing out or something...

mrsjay Sun 28-Apr-13 12:36:02

mrsjay upbraided me for what I wrote earlier,

Im not sure what I said ?

mrsjay Sun 28-Apr-13 12:37:22

oh jailbait the musical i still stand by that I think it was awful

Mumsyblouse Sun 28-Apr-13 12:40:52

Mine have both worn full-stage make-up for ballet shows and it is disconcerting but they loved it, just as they loved the hideous sparkling tutus the dance teacher chose. One of mine has allergies though and didn't wear any make-up one year and yes, she looked very pale and odd next to the made-up children but so what? If you really don't want to do it, just don't.

SomethingOnce Sun 28-Apr-13 12:42:18

It was meant to be darkly humorous but I respect your view.

I still think it's worse to say a little girl will look awful.

Mumsyblouse Sun 28-Apr-13 12:44:10

And, I have a stage make-up kit for mine which is all my old tat/garish colours/cheap pink blusher, and it ONLY comes out two days every two years for the show. I don't find it hard to say no to a 7 and 9 year old wearing make-up normally, it's clear it is for shows only (just as face painting like butterflies can 'enhance' features but is only for parties or events).

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 28-Apr-13 12:44:32

Well dd did look awful. She looked ill. The next night I made sure I did the make up correctly.

Apart from the time she was supposed to look like a dying child (her character died at the interval) sndcthectime she was supposed to look like a vampire.

squeakytoy Sun 28-Apr-13 12:45:21

I really dont get the big deal about it.. it is just make up.. for theatrical purposes. Completely and utterly different to a child going to school wearing fake lashes and lip gloss... there is just no comparison at all.

Why would you force your child to NOT wear it, when all the rest of the show are.. making your child look and feel different to their peers. Oh yes, your kid will stand out on the photos, but not for the right reasons, and they wont thank you for it either.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 28-Apr-13 12:45:28

Incidentally dd has allergies. She can't wear face paint.

We find Grimas, Kryolan & Boots No 7 are good.

themaltesecat Sun 28-Apr-13 12:47:36

For a dance show, it's necessary.

The organisers are right, the pearl clutchers are wrong.

If you want her facial features to be discernible on the video, she needs makeup.

SomethingOnce Sun 28-Apr-13 12:55:06

As I interpreted it, the question was not whether or not the OP would BBU not to apply the makeup, but rather whether her feelings of discomfort about the issue were unreasonable.

I maintain that her feelings are not unreasonable, especially since there seems to be an idea in her DD's mind that a facefull of slap is a signifier of female adulthood.

SomethingOnce Sun 28-Apr-13 12:57:53

Lol at the idea that any deviation from agreement with the stage mothers is pearl clutching.

DowntonTrout Sun 28-Apr-13 13:03:29

My goodness, some of the replays are MN at its over zealous, pc, worst.

It's stage make up. Theatre is also completely different to tv or cinematography. You are seeing the performers at a distance, not close up as in film. The make up required is different.

Yes orange foundation, red lips and blue eyeshadow is horrid. But under stage lighting features disappear so it is normal to exaggerate features with make up. They don't need to look like that Jon Benet child.

Good idea to get a little set from Claire's or somewhere. She knows it's her stage makeup, not everyday, real life.

By the way, has anyone seen Dance Moms? That is when you need to worry.

Flojobunny Sun 28-Apr-13 13:05:02

firelight shock she had to play a dying child? Think that would be a step too far for me.
somethingonce yes I will apply it but it doesn't feel comfortable to me seeing her like that but she loves it, so you're right it was AIBU to be such a hypocrit about make up when I approve face paint.

DowntonTrout Sun 28-Apr-13 13:06:56

Replays? Replies!

By the way you are not BU to feel uncomfortable seeing her like that close up and not wanting to glamorise her. Her face won't look like that on stage though.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 28-Apr-13 13:07:24

It was in a semi professional performance of a musical called Her Benny. It tells the story of two children growing up on the streets of Victorian Liverpool. The little girl is weak and in ill health and dies despite being taken in by a kindly night watchman

My username is the song dd had to sing. Her death was a big emotional chorus number.

I was so proud.

mrspolkadotty Sun 28-Apr-13 13:08:00

DD has been dancing since she was 2, wore nothing on her face for the first 2 years as her skin was very sensitive but from age 4 she has worn stage makeup for all performances and i have no problem with that. She is now 11 and the only actual 'makeup' she wears day to day is a tinted chapstick (and thinks she is so grown up lol). Stage makeup is just that, for the stage.

DowntonTrout Sun 28-Apr-13 13:08:16

That's lovely pictures.

soverylucky Sun 28-Apr-13 13:09:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 28-Apr-13 13:10:37

Oh and I love my weekly dose if car crash Dance Moms TV. Those mothers are do awful.

Think its why we don't do comps!

DowntonTrout Sun 28-Apr-13 13:12:18

It's not so much the mothers who are awful, well they are but that dance teacher is a monster!!!

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