My friend and I have a pretty good relationship butI find her hard work sometimes. She gets easily upset about things and I have a pretty blunt manner that I try to keep reined in around her, but sometimes stuff slips out.
Anyway, we were discussing an upcoming day outwith some mutual friends that I got stuck with hosting and, teasing, I told them I would demand fealty by way of baked goods. She responded, we got talking about cake, she mmentioned you couldmake cream puffs as long as you knew how to make puff pastry. Then I said its choux pastry needed in cream puffs, adding an expression to lether know I was just teasing.
She has since sent me a privprivate message telling me she is tired of me patronising her in regards to her baking.Thinking on it, I can recall a grand total of two occasions where I have said anything to her about her baking and I thought it was pretty innocuous. She has had very few problems making personal digs at me, regarding my inability to handle a drink, my uptightedness about sex and how I am 'weird' around children (I'm a nanny, I happen to like and get on well with children). I'm able to laugh it off, I can't see why she can't do the same.
AIBU?
or is she being oversensitive?
PrincessTeacake · 27/04/2013 01:20
@ 'patronising her in regards to her baking'
Bake her a cake to say sorry?
There does seem to be a mismatch between your banter and her knowing you're bantering.
Going on how I was brought up to know that even though they've got a deadpan expression, the twinkle in the persons eye etc means they're just pulling your leg, and how DH took a little while to catch on that I didn't mean things literally all the time, if she doesn't know how to read it then it's going to cause problems.
It didn't with us, and I don't do it in a 'I'm crazy me, and my whole family are so zany, you'll get used to us' way but I know that you have to be sure the person will get you pulling their leg before you do it - i.e. that's only going to be some people you know.
Like I can be really offensive about and to my oldest friend because she's such an old slapper she knows I'm never going to mean it like that, but I'd never say anything like that to someone I didn't like.
Could she be a bit unsure about the friendship she has with you/insecure about herself?
If you exchanged reserved and shy with awkward and prickly, then you could say I was similar to her
I look at effective shameless, enthusiastic social butterflies with longing, wishing I could be arsed muster up the energy to interact with others of an evening in a meaningful way.
But I would never hold that against them, I'm happy they get so much out of life and don't feel having company is a burden, when we're such social animals who crave social interaction.
Is it possible for you to take her as she is and try and ignore that bit? Obviously if she's an all round PITA then give her the boot, but you have to ignore some bits when you're friends, if this grates like fuck and she does it all the time then it's not working for you.
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