Advanced search

to be so cross with my husband?

(21 Posts)
Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 15:53:07

Firstly he really wanted a job, but didn't put the application form in on time. He is severely dyslexic and lacking in confidence so left the form until the last minute, expecting me to jump in and help without being asked. I feel like if you want something that badly, you do it and he should have pressed me to do it with him.

And now he is painting our gate as it was a bit rusty. In a completely different colour. Without even mentioning it.

Please do tell me if I am being an unreasonable witch. I can't tell anymore!

MrsMacFarlane Fri 26-Apr-13 16:11:22

None of it sounds that bad to be honest, but I'm not living with him. I daresay this is a "last straw" type situation for you.

Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 16:13:41

I wouldn't say it's the last straw, he's a very good husband and father generally, he can just be thoughtless. I think it's me being a hormonal bitch perhaps.

UnChartered Fri 26-Apr-13 16:17:01

i think someone with dyslexia needs you to hand hold them through filling in forms etc, it's not just writing most need help with, but general organisation. I have a very good lovely friend who has dyslexia, she cannot prioritise, especially when under pressure

YAB a little U

Justforlaughs Fri 26-Apr-13 16:17:26

I might get frustrated that he didn't get an application form in on time, but I have to admit that I think you are over-reacting on the gate thing. I painted our living room while my DH was away and didn't ask him what colour I should do it. Maybe he thinks it doesn't matter. as my DH did when he painted my downstairs loo in pink when the floor was blue!

frutilla Fri 26-Apr-13 16:23:11

My husband procrastinates with forms too. He's also a bit dyslexic and hates filling them in. He would probs use the diff colour paint too if, say, there was some left over and he wouIdn't tell me. So I can see where you're coming from. Men aren't great communicators. But I don't think it's worth getting cross about, so think YAB a little bit U and so am I, haha.

Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 16:25:31

Haha! Thank you, I shall wind my neck in and say nothing. You've made me feel a little better.

ipswitch Fri 26-Apr-13 16:27:35

I would love my DH to paint anything! I don't even care about what colour pain he uses. YABU.

Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 16:36:40

Haha point taken, he is handy!

MrsMacFarlane Fri 26-Apr-13 16:39:50

Ha ha, those fecking hormones have a lot to answer for!

verytellytubby Fri 26-Apr-13 16:41:03

Wish my DH would do DIY.

He probably wants support with his application if he's dyslexic.

Justforlaughs Fri 26-Apr-13 16:43:52

verytellytubby if you were married to my DH you would NOT want him to do DIY. My bath still leaks after being refitted at least 3 times! grin

AThingInYourLife Fri 26-Apr-13 16:47:53


I don't have any idea what you're cross about.

KurriKurri Fri 26-Apr-13 17:00:34

Form filling in is very stressful for people with dyslexia - my son has it and his wife helps him with job applications etc, because it is a nightmare for him.

Sounds as if you know he struggles knew he would need help but invented a reason not to help him - he 'had to ask first' - if you really wanted him to apply for the job and succeed in his application, then it seems to me you would have been there ready and offering to help.

As for painting the fence without consulting you? Unless it's now covered in racist and sexist graffiti, I'd let that one go.

Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 17:06:25

I'm more than willing to help him - I just thought that he ought to be the one to approach me first, if you see what I mean. I wasn't doing it to be cruel, I have always happily helped him with things like this. Perhaps I should have pressed it and sat down to do it with him.

Like I said, I'm happy to concede that I am in fact U. I believe pregnancy hormones are clouding my judgement at present!

He has now decided against the gate colour and is grinding it off. Maybe he reads MN, because I haven't said a thing to him about it!

UnChartered Fri 26-Apr-13 17:08:39

try not to think of it as 'pressing' him to do stuff he struggles with, it's more support he'll need, i would think

and maybe he's struggling with the decision he's made about the paint-job now?

Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 17:11:22

He's just come in and told me that he made a big mistake and he wants it back to its original colour (thank god).

I didn't mean pressure him, I meant more press it as in actually sit down and say let's do this now together. Sorry I'm not coming across quite as I'd like!

UnChartered Fri 26-Apr-13 17:15:59

i think (hope) i understand you

my adult DS has always struggled with forms, he was assessed for dyslexia whilst at primary school, but it wasn't quite severe enough hmm to warrant help.

he would do the same thing as you're describing, because he fears messing things up. it's easier to avoid than fail

i know you're not his DP though, as he's at work right now wink

Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 17:22:28

That's terrible that his wasn't deemed as severe enough. Thanks for putting it into perspective for me. I do love him believe it or not and sometimes I need a good boot up the bum!

UnChartered Fri 26-Apr-13 17:24:53

it was a long time ago, and he's being referred now for full assessments - you're allowed a moan on MN, and i really believe you don't think too badly of your DH

when is your baby due?

Fancydrawers Fri 26-Apr-13 18:04:35

June, and I have awful SPD which is resulting in no sleep = a very grumpy me! I hope all is well with your son, I'm sure he will be just fine.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: