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to want friend to stop comparing our kids?

(7 Posts)
familyfun Fri 26-Apr-13 14:03:15

met this friend at school gates 2 years ago. our dd1s in same class, our dd2 same age and will be in same class.
when our dd2 were born she compared weight each week and said they were in a race and then said my dd2 overtook hers and told everyone how much heavier my dd2 was despite being a few weeks younger, she compares their talking/eating/weight gain/clothes sizes always favouring mine and putting down her dd2 saying shes not as advanced.
At parents evening she overheard that my dd1 is working in a higher year group, i have never told anyone this as i didnt want dd1 to feel awkward and didnt want to look like i was bragging. she now always comments on how her dd1 isnt as advanced as my dd1 and how my dd1 is top of the class. she isnt. there isnt a top of the class.she says this infront of the other moms and its embarassing.
she also says her dd1 cant swim aswell as mine, cant ride a bike like mine and i feel sorry for her dd1 as she is stood there hearing how inferior she is, which isnt true at all.
aibu to say they all develop at different rates and its best to let them get on with it.

Justforlaughs Fri 26-Apr-13 14:09:18

Maybe she needs reassurance that her dd is "normal" and not behind in any way. Are there things that you can point out that her dd is better at than yours? Maybe she walked earlier, or is better at playing the guitar? or maybe is just a really nice girl. Ask your friend (away from little ears) whether she has any concerns about her dd. If she doesn't then try to point out good things about her dd when her daughter is in earshot. It sounds like the little girl, if not the mother, needs some reassurance.

LemonPeculiarJones Fri 26-Apr-13 14:11:11

Jesus, what is wrong with the woman?

YANBU. Maybe you could suggest she stops comparing them, that every child is unique etc, and that for her DD to hear her comparing her unfavourably with yours will shred her confidence.

Not easy to slip into a conversation though admittedly.

DoJo Fri 26-Apr-13 17:51:23

Could she be hoping that you will say 'oh but your daughter is so much better at x, y and z'?

Uppermid Fri 26-Apr-13 17:52:50

What lemon says!

Wishiwasanheiress Fri 26-Apr-13 17:57:07

It used to be hair cuts hand bags shoes and tops, now it's kids progress. Flattery and envy I spose. Flipping irritating tho....

familyfun Sat 27-Apr-13 14:09:43

she compares both her dds unfavourably.
both are doing fine.
i have caught myself saying oh but your dd2 walked early, oh but your dd1 is outgoing but then i feel like im joining her comparisons and maybe putting down my own dds.
i think she worries they are not advanced enough, they are 5 and 2??

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