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to ground my 14yo DS, even if he is telling the truth

(52 Posts)
Justforlaughs Fri 26-Apr-13 08:45:37

I'm a fairly relaxed parent (I hope) without going overboard on the "not caring", my DS2 spends quite a lot of time "hanging around" with his friends. We live in a small town, where there are loads of teenagers harmlessly "hanging around" in the parks and sports grounds, there is very little trouble (in 12 years I've never heard of any violence), no gangs etc, although there is certainly an element that is into drinking, drugs etc. My logic has always been that a) we are well known to everyone and I would hear about it if he was doing anything he shouldn't and b) that I would trust him unless he proved that I was wrong to do so. I know that 1 of his friends but until yesterday I would have sworn that DS wouldn't do so. Last night I was told by a friend that he was seen getting into a car and smoking. I wasn't aware that any of his friends was old enough to drive. He still swears that he doesn't smoke, that his friends do and he sits in the car while they do so. (Obviously there are dangers about passive smoking). AIBU to ground him for a while, at the same time as having a long chat about the company he keeps and passive smoking?

Grammaticus Fri 26-Apr-13 14:50:07

I have sons this age and I wouldnt ground them in these circumstances. But I would be trying to reduce the time spent "hanging around" I think, now that these two issues have arisen.

bankofmum Fri 26-Apr-13 14:56:54

I wouldn't ground him but follow him, yes really one day can't you 'accidentally' bump into him? I did this with my (now 17 yr old) son when he was 14. He had been anti smoking, was a singer said it would ruin his voice, then said his friends smoked so he stank of it. He was of course smoking himself. Don't want to worry you but he also hang around older teenagers with cars and was soon into waccy baccy. Still smokes now but not the waccy as far as I know

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