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AIBU?

To not want DD to grow up too fast??

32 replies

MaisyFloss · 25/04/2013 18:28

DD is 7 and loves drawing, playing in the park, cbeebies (some stuff on CITV) reading & just playing like a child. She went to a friends house the other day and came back raving about one direction, she said her friend is 'obsessed' with them and their biggest fan and that they just sat in her room all day listening to them and playing on the computer.

I feel a little sad that DD now thinks these are the things it's cool to be into, she's so young, aibu and an idiot?

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givemeaclue · 25/04/2013 18:29

Yanbu at all.

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wonderingsoul · 25/04/2013 18:34

your not wrong, i have a ds 7 and 4, and im thankfull they are still quite "young" 7 and 4 and so are my friends children. so yanbu

that sad i swing from wanting my children to grow up magically in a night ( on a very bad days i guiltly do feel like this, just to catch a breath ) to never wanting them to grow a second older.

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Cakecrumbsinmybra · 25/04/2013 18:36

Of course YANBU.

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zoobaby · 25/04/2013 18:37

DP and I were trying to buy a gift for his turning-6yo niece the other day. There was a selection of really great girly crafty/activity type books, the kind I would have killed for as a child. We started to get right into selecting which ones to buy when suddenly we realised that it was all a bit too "innocent" (i.e died't involve technology or some kind of experience) and therefore would not be appreciated let alone actually used. We both felt a little sad upon realising this.

Your DD is the exception to the rule alas. Hope you can encourage her innocence a little longer!

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intheshed · 25/04/2013 18:39

It's the way they are these days, especually if they have older siblings.... at my 5yo's birthday party recently I put on a CD of nursery rhymes for pass the parcel and they were all and asked for gangnam style instead!

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CuppaTea83 · 25/04/2013 18:42

YANBU but I feel we're fighting a losing battle.

My 7yo DDs best friend has every piece of modern tech going. All in her bedroom to use whenever she pleases. My DD doesn't understand/ think it fair that I won't let her have a mobile phone or Ipad etc.

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ThreeBeeOneGee · 25/04/2013 18:45

I think it depends on the child. DD will be nine in July, and her favourite pastimes are climbing trees, camping in the garden, reading, colouring, writing stories, drawing, making cards, and pretending to be a puppy.

One of her brothers is eleven, and also 'young for his age', but if it doesn't involve a screen, he really isn't interested.

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ChablisLover · 25/04/2013 18:46

Yanbu

My ds is 6 and I want him to be a child as long as possible like I was.

I still played with dolls when I was a young teenager

I think there are too many pressures and parents should shield their kids from those for as long as possible

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MaisyFloss · 25/04/2013 18:46

She's going to her first sleep over in a few weeks, at this little girls house. I know I am overreacting but I am just dreading it as I know she will come back begging for one direction CD's and a computer console.

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fuzzpig · 25/04/2013 18:47

YANBU at all!

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Bonsoir · 25/04/2013 18:50

Honestly, children at 7/8/9 can be singing along to the latest music on their iPods one minute and playing with their dolls' house the next. As long as you model the full range of life experiences and pleasures, they won't categorise them.

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ThreeBeeOneGee · 25/04/2013 18:51

I would say that within my sample of four, the amount of technology they are exposed to doesn't really influence how 'grown up' their interests are. It seems to be related more to how influenced they are by their peers at school.

DS2, who is often glued to a screen, really doesn't care what is 'cool' or not. His interests are truly his own, without much peer influence.

DS3, on the other hand, is a complete social sheep. He often refers to the 'wisdom' of his peers on what's in and what's out. He is probably the most 'grown-up' in his interests out of the four, because he really seeks peer approval.

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PoppyWearer · 25/04/2013 18:52

YANBU! I was actually quite upset when 4yo DD (my PFB!) cam home singing chart songs that had been played in assembly at school.

She called CBeebies "boring" earlier this week.

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toffeelolly · 25/04/2013 18:55

Masiy, know how you feel, just today my dd 7 came home and told me how her friend in her class had drew a big heart on top of her leg with harry wrote in it , I said to my dd what a silly thing to do, to which she replyed it's because she fancy's him like mad. Just could not get over what i was hearing. They grow up so quick now, it's so sad.

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Ledkr · 25/04/2013 18:56

My dd is 11 and says herself that she doesn't want to grow up yet. She plays dolls and still loves the Disney channel.
The other day she went to a church fun day with some friends and came back saying how much she'd enjoyed it and with a bag of Easter craft shed done. She said her friends were taking the mick and said it was babyish and had sat there sulking until they left.
She lives her dancing and girl guides and gets so much out of life it's lovely.

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toffeelolly · 25/04/2013 18:58

By the way it's harry if one direction.

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MadBusLady · 25/04/2013 19:01

YABU. It's fashionable to bash peer pressure, but there are huge social benefits to developing new interests with your peers that are outside the range of what you've been used to at home, where the interests are set by an older generation. And these social benefits knock on to the teen years in a really important way. I was quite a "young" child, looking back, and I would have had a much nicer time of it if I hadn't been TBH. I think I'd happily risk a little tweenie fandom in a DD.

I also wouldn't worry about peer pressure unless they're either doing really stupid things or continuing to be sheeplike and not developing their own personalities and preferences beyond, say, 13.

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MaisyFloss · 25/04/2013 19:03

I feel like the weirdo over protective Mum because I don't try to get her into pop music, fashion & having a DS/tablet... She ha sthe rest of her life for things like that, she's a little girl FFS.

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MadBusLady · 25/04/2013 19:04

Also, I fancied boys when I was 7, didn't everyone or am I a colossal pervert?

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MadBusLady · 25/04/2013 19:06

Oh I wouldn't try and get her into things! Just try not to worry too much when she brings them home herself (easy for me to say, I know), it doesn't change who she is. "That's nice, dear" is probably the best approach when confronted with whatever turgid shite is passing for pop music these days anyway.

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MortifiedAdams · 25/04/2013 19:10

I was the girl who was less into this sort of stuff when I was younger. Other kids were telling me which bands (Backstreet Boys, Boyzone era). I wasnt allowed a tv in my room, and never had a games console. The 'best' bit of kit was a Sony Discman (replacing my Walkman).

It did me no harm at all and I still enjoyed the more innocent games/activities at home (Lego & Playmobil hot favourites). Sure, I used to ask DM for the tech but knew no.meant no.

I will do the same with dd. I was never bullied for not having X Y Z, and other kids used to love coming to my house as I always got to have the sleepovers!

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nokidshere · 25/04/2013 19:12

Yanbu but nothing has changed. Me and my 5 sisters used ti kiss our "poster boys" goodnight and declare our undying love for them way back in the 60's and early 70's.... The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, and later Donny Osmond and David Cassidy....ahh the memories . We knew all the songs by heart but still watched children's telly and played with our dolls

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MaisyFloss · 25/04/2013 19:13

I grew up very quickly, was allowed all the magazines, computer games, pop music etc and it carried on into teen years, it was always cool to be one step ahead and I went really off the rails. I'm not saying it will be the same for DD or anyone else for that matter, but my personal experience has made me more 'wary' of growing up to fast.

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MaisyFloss · 25/04/2013 19:14

nokidshere - How old were you?

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LadyLech · 25/04/2013 19:14

YANBU

I think it's sad that your DD cannot see all the benefits of different. Types of activities. Does she not have access to computer, music etc at home?

My DD is 9, has a phone, iPod etc... But her favourite activity at home is still dressing up (with her younger sister,6). She puts her iPod on, has music in the background, and she plays happily in her dressing up clothes, putting on little shows and the like.

My dd doesn't get a lot of free time (she competes in a very time consuming sport), so when she is free, she likes to use it playing. We don't restrict TV, computers etc and if the iPad is free, she can use that, or play on her tablet - but I honestly find that these new technologies keep her entertained for a little while and then she's back to making dens, putting on shows, creating and acting out stories ... When her friends come round, they do both types of activities too, even her older gym friends who are 10 and 11.

Although, I have to admit that whilst she likes CBBC, she will still happily watch Cbeebies at times (depending on the show). So she too is quite young. She's 10 this year, and I don't see her growing out of these things any time soon.