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to want df to sleep elsewhere

(5 Posts)
maddening Wed 24-Apr-13 23:29:04

gah - after over 2 years of ds not sttn - resulting in ds and I cosleeping (on a mattress on ds' bedroom floor) since November 2011 (ds bf so all night wakings done by me) we have just got ds in his own bed - 1st night tonight.

it was forced by my hernia op and dfiance has coslept since friday (so breaking the night feeding cycle) which has been good for me post op.

pre cosleeping dfiance's snoring was getting to me - and following a post on here we established dfiance has sleep apnea - which I relayed to him and suggested the doctors - df hates doctors and is putting it off. I also bought him a anti snoring mouth wash which he hasn't tried. He has given up smoking recently and says he wants to see if that helps before he goes to the doctor.

so tonight is out first night back in a bed together - I can't sleep in my usual tummy position due to my hernia surgery - I struggle to sleep on my back (just hate it) and am propped up in a best effort. Dfiance is snoring like he always did and the apnea is fucking driving me up the wall - the massive heaves as he tries to breath and subsequent giant snores - I wouldn't mind but he hasn't even tried to address it in all that time- plus the fact that it is really bad for dfiance's health.

we don't have a spare room so if he went elsewhere it would be the sofa or blow up mattress.

I fear I may be demented after a few nights if this - seriously 1 and half years of broken cosleeping is looking like fun comparatively!

Raum Wed 24-Apr-13 23:43:10

Wake him up and kick him to the sofa. Apnoea is no excuse, tell him to see a GP for a referral but in the mean time until you are healers he needs to put you first.

TheCraicDealer Wed 24-Apr-13 23:59:44

He needs to go to a doctor. My dad is currently in hospital recovering from a double heart bypass, partly necessitated by sleep apnoea putting a strain on his heart for many, many years. He now has to use a machine at night that forces air down his throat to keep his airways open.

DP seemed to be following the same pattern and I got very friendly with the cashiers in Boots due to the amount of ear plugs I was buying. But he's lost a bit of weight- not loads, but a bit- and it seems to have made a big difference in not only how often he snores but the volume when he does!

Aniseeda Thu 25-Apr-13 01:08:30

I agree, long term, he needs to sort out his snoring but, for now, a week or two on the airbed/sofa will do him no harm while you recover from surgery (he's had the bed to himself long enough!)

I am probably going to be having an op in the near future and will be asking DH to sleep on an airbed downstairs for a month few nights when I come home as we have completely incompatible body clocks (he likes to go to bed at 9.30 with the light off straight away, I am more of an owl, hence being downstairs on my own at silly o'clock!) and I would like to be able to get up and move around/read/sit on the loo etc etc whatever a post-op person needs to feel comfortable in the wee small hours and not be annoyed by his very presence worrying about disturbing him.

maddening Thu 25-Apr-13 01:27:18

Well I didn't kick him out but he went in a mood after I nudged him a couple of times as he was struggling to breath and after lying there in a sulk he has now banished himself to the sofa in a strop.

Thecraic - so sorry about your dad - I have pestered df about seeing the dr - I have shown him info about how bad it can be and he is still stalling sad he gets annoyed if I pester too much. It makes it more annoying for me that he hasn't done something.

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