To regret booking this holiday? (intense dread)

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Basically, we've booked up to go to Florida with some friends for 10 days in September. We booked it last September.

My friends have three DCs, 12, 7 and 3... and since we booked up, the three year old has become really horrible. I know it's bad form to slate kids off on MN but I find him really unbearable. He comes to my house quite often and trashes the place. Crisps stamped into carpets, drinks thrown around, pulling cat's tail, hitting me, hitting his mum, helping himself to food... I know that this could be typical toddler behaviour but my friends just let him do these things. No parenting, no discipline given. They'll happily sit and watch as I am on hands and knees picking up soggy cakes from under sofa or trying to get him to stop tormenting the cat.

I don't think that we are in for a relaxing ten days. I am starting to wish we'd never booked up. Is there a way we can get out of it? AIBU?

[5Foot5]

Do you have kids youself? If not what on earth possessed you to go on holiday, any holiday, with people who do?

Seriously it might not be that bad. When you are away you won't be in your own house so any mess or destruction he will be creating is someone else's problem. Leave your friends to deal with him.

If it starts to get to you then possibly you and your DP could arrange to have some time for just the two of you away from the family so you get a break.

[ajandjjmum]

Will you have independent accommodation, or are you sharing?

[redskyatnight]

1. You'll be in Florida. He'll have lots to keep him busy and be shattered the rest of the time.
   
2. His behaviour may well have improved before September.

[MoaneyMcmoanmoan]

Put sedatives in his sippy cup.
Only joking. I do hope you have separate rooms in a hotel, and aren't sharing a mahoosive house together?
Maybe all the children will go off and play together and the older ones will keep him in line

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Yes, I have DC 5foot I'm not that mad

We are sharing accomodation :(

[lottieandmia]

I think it'll be ok as it won't be in your home. And yes, children of this age do go through awful phases and suddenly turn into a little angel for a few months.

[SavoyCabbage]

Just say "we are doing xyz tomorrow, what are you going to do?"

[MissSusan]

September is a way off yet, he might come out the other end by then. You could always go off and do your own thing and just use accommodation as a base.
Gosh the worst bit will probably be the flight - sit well away from them.

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Oh and he has also taken to doing this screaming/squealing noise when he wants something/can't get his own way. It is a delightful noise.

[Hullygully]

1. Go to the Everglades
   

1. Feed him accidentally to an alligator
   

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

I am considering dipping his beloved "gwapes" into a medised syrup before he starts eating them then spitting them out everywhere...

[Hullygully]

why doesn't his dear mumsy say anything?

[ChairmanWow]

Eeek. Maybe you need to set some ground rules. If his parents won't set boundaries I'd just step in - eg if he hits one of your DC ask him to stop and apologise, ask him to pick up his mess etc.

I have a friend whose toddler (2 yo) is the same. She absolutely trashed my house yesterday including chucking around freshly sterilised bottles and walking all over my 4 week old's baby gym with muddy boots on, getting all of my DS's toys out and throwing some of them across the room, chucking crisps everywhere. I was when they left just before I picked DS up from nursery without offering to help tidy up.

I've vowed not to put up with it again. I'll be intervening to stop her messing about and they'll be asked to help tidy before they leave. I don't have any truck with people who think its acceptable to let their kids run riot so I'd suggest the same.

Or dump your kids on them and spend the whole 10 days drunk.

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

CBA, too much effort... who can say?

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

ChairmanWow It makes your piss boil, don't it?

I do ask him to pick up the shit he drops everywhere and he just goes "NO" before screaming... God, my heart rate is going up just thinking about him...

[bigTillyMint]

Do you think he may have some special needs or do you think he is just going through a phase or do you think he is poorly parented?

[AnonYonimousBird]

OP - 5 months is a long time, he could be out of this terrible phase.

Also, you have 5 months to work on getting his CBA lazy parents to get a bloody grip!!!!

[hellsbellsmelons]

Without meaning to scare you too much - I went away with kids to Florida - one being 3 you and a total nightmare.
Parents didn't discipline well at all.
It was awful some days and probably one of the worst holidays I've ever had.
But... you live and learn!

[TheRealFellatio]

Oh dear. I assume it's too late to cancel without losing a ton of money? and if you pull it out may mean they can't go either, as the cost of the house will no longer be split.

I think you need to have a rule that you do not spend all day every day together, and that you spend the day apart, you meet up for dinner, or if you spend the morning together you are out of one another's hair after lunch. If you are doing all the theme parks etc, then that is exhausting at the best of times - it will be unbearable if you are having to bite your tongue and pander to a stroppy child who you cannot tell off, every minute of the day.

[TheRealFellatio]

I think I'd be seriously looking at a way to pull out though. sounds like an utter nightmare waiting to happen.

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

bigTilly, hard to say at this age but I suspect it's poor parenting. As much as I do love my friends, they are very passive parents. He is allowed to kick, punch, bite them and they just smile benignly at him.

hells, that is my fear! :(

If it all gets too much, I think we will be doing what you said, Fell', and sloping off to look at something else without them...

[Gerrof]

Marmalade you will be near that kid on a plane for 10 hours or so.

[CocacolaMum]

He's 3. There are enough months between now and Sept to be able to retrain him.

My nephews and nieces can be a nightmare for their parents but I have looked after them often enough through these phases for them to know better than to try their shit on with me. One refuses point blank to eat certain foods at home - he has learnt if he tries that here then he gets no treats. So he doesn't bother arguing.

I am in NO way a perfect parent or anything like that but I do think you need to be firm on this, or just suck it up and turn to the drink :p

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Gerrof, you are being very helpful. bastard woman

I know, I know September is a way off, time to reset his batteries but no-one is doing any resetting! Harumph.

Yes Cocacola, I am planning on being in a gin-induced coma for much of the time