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to be annoyed by the SAHM image the woman on This Morning just painted

(21 Posts)
PrincessScrumpy Wed 24-Apr-13 11:34:17

Just to clarify, I am "working" and children are being cared for downstairs in my house, so I'm not on mn while kids are being ignored.

I've had This Morning on in the background and found myself doing a catbum face at the telly when the woman arguing about nurseries being better than being at home for children said SAHM just put their kids in front of the tv all day or make them scrabble around under a table in Costa Coffee because they had to get out the house.

Firstly, I go to Starbucks.... seriously though, I rarely go to coffee shops and when I do my children sit on seats and have something yummy. We don't often have the TV on. I'm don't think I'm any more amazing as a mother than most but I do resent the image and suggestion that my dc would get better care in nursery. It's true I don't teach them French (something the woman was very keen to point out her dc learned while at nursery) but as they are barely speaking English I think that's less of a priority to me.

I'm not anti nursery just anti that woman!

theodorakisses Wed 24-Apr-13 11:35:50

Costa Coffee and television, sounds like an ideal day to me

Scholes34 Wed 24-Apr-13 11:49:38

Who was "that woman"?

SofaCanary Wed 24-Apr-13 11:54:08

That woman always makes my teeth itch.

Timetoask Wed 24-Apr-13 11:54:23

I am a SAHM.
I think it's not right to leave a child in nursery every day full-time, but I think it is fantastic if they go two or three mornings a week.
That is what I did and it worked well. Having said that, we were not living in the UK at the time and it was affordable. Unfortunately childcare is too expensive here in the UK making it an "either home or nursery/work" time situation.

WilsonFrickett Wed 24-Apr-13 11:55:38

Most nurseries are great.
Most SAHMs are great.

I don't think there's any mileage in pitting one against the other tbh. Although I suspect nurseries and nursery users will be on a charm offensive after Truss' comments yesterday. Just ignore it.

PrincessScrumpy Wed 24-Apr-13 11:58:10

No idea who "that woman" was - I wasn't really listening but that part caught my attention.

Anyway, off to get dtds lunch and I might even let them watch tv

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 24-Apr-13 12:01:46

As usual it just brings it down to motherhood being a competition.

I prefer Costa.

WaitingForMe Wed 24-Apr-13 12:02:17

What a bizarre attitude. There are five mums in my NCT group and we're all SAHMs (ish - I'm self-employed) right now as the babies are 5mths. We vary massively in our parenting styles. I'm not big on groups so DS and I do classes and walk for miles in the buggy looking at things, another does a group every day unless she's seeing us for lunch, the art teacher has already had her son getting creative.

I'd say we vary as much as our careers do!

DigestivesWithCheese Wed 24-Apr-13 12:12:52

I didn't see it but "that woman" sounds like a complete cock. grin

VodkaJelly Wed 24-Apr-13 12:18:51

She didnt actually say that though did she. The other woman who thinks nurseries are akin to putting your children into a bear pit and all working mothers are evil was saying that nurserys dont give good care and mums give the best care.

The other woman responded that NOT ALL parents give the best care to their children and can just plonk them infront of the tv all day. She did not say that all SAHM do this and are crap parents.

redskyatnight Wed 24-Apr-13 12:31:30

I think the average nursery does do a better job of caring for a child than a SAHM who plonks her child in front of the telly all day or who leaves them to fend for themselves while she follows her own social life.

But not all SAHMs are like that.

lakeofshiningwaters Wed 24-Apr-13 14:00:56

A bad nursery is worse than a good SAHP.
A good nursery is better than a bad SAHP.
Somedays a good nursery is better than a SAHP, and somedays the other way wrong.
It's personal choice, no hard and fast rules.

Could I sit any more on the fence? grin

I started to watch the bit on This Morning as I thought it might be a quite interesting debate on the fact that Government are promoting (via their recent budget) nurseries as WOHP as the best way to bring up children.

Sadly no, just 2 self-promoting women giving extreme examples to get everyone's blood rising. Sigh.

lakeofshiningwaters Wed 24-Apr-13 14:01:32

other way round, not other way wrong.

Fairylea Wed 24-Apr-13 14:03:02

Ahhh that woman was Shona Sibary or something like that.

Enough said.

She is ALWAYS an idiot.

ubik Wed 24-Apr-13 14:09:15

Oh it's all bollocks in the end.

Who cares, eh? People just get on with their lives doing the best they can for their families - sometimes it's watching Cbeebies before a trip to Cista, sometimes it's nursery, most if the time it's a bit of both.

Men are never asked to account for how they raise their children to the same level as women and that is what kisses me off more than anything.

ubik Wed 24-Apr-13 14:10:26

Kisses? Pisses - but kisses are one if the nicest things about being a mum, at home or working grin

Wannabestepfordwife Wed 24-Apr-13 14:14:39

I don't think even Shona Sibary agrees with what she writes or talks about.

It really frustrates me that this morning has had some really interesting pieces on like Katie Taylor sharing her experience of being groomed by an Asian gang or the man "Steve" who thought about murdering and raping women so underwent chemical castration yet it's Shona Sibray who gets publicity

fromparistoberlin Wed 24-Apr-13 14:46:16

whats up with all the upset SAHMs these days


Tailtwister Wed 24-Apr-13 16:01:50

I don't get why this whole thing has blown up following the tax breaks for childcare. Surely the time to get antsy was when the government implemented the unfair child benefit changes?

The fact is that most people who WOTH don't have a choice. They do it because they have to pay the mortgage/bills. There's no point in bashing people about it. People use nurseries out of necessity.

rainbowslollipops Wed 24-Apr-13 18:15:38

I think the worst thing you can do is go by studies and surveys. The woman who was against nurseries used a recent study that was done in America. We are in the UK so there's a bit of a difference. If you want to use a nursery or childminder to go to work then go ahead and well done for juggling being a parent and working. If you have other options or choose not to then go ahead and well done for using the time you have to make the most of being with your child.

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