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To think families don't need a matriarch figure

(19 Posts)
CambridgeBlue Tue 23-Apr-13 22:05:07

My DM is insistent that she's the 'matriarch' of our family since her DM passed away and the idea fills me with dread because I know what occupying that position means.

My DGM was lovely and lived to almost 100 so obviously that was something to be celebrated, especially when she was the only one of her generation left. DM on the other hand is already going on about us organising a big party for her 70th in 18 months time confused and I can see her mentally stepping into the role of elderly tyrant family figure who everything revolves around. As we aren't in the cast of Eastenders I can't see the need or place for this sort of role in our family and would like to nip it in the bud before she gets any more ideas. AIBU?

MsVestibule Tue 23-Apr-13 22:10:03

I think anybody who genuinely calls themselves the 'matriarch' of a family is slightly barking! Apart from the birthday party for her 70th, what other sort of ideas do you think she'll have?

apostropheuse Tue 23-Apr-13 22:12:57

I'm the matriarch of my family. grin

I rule by tyranny with a wee bit of bribery thrown in.

Tis true.

StuffezLaYoni Tue 23-Apr-13 22:16:21

Where I previously worked, some of our most notoriously criminal/"difficult" families had Matriarch figures. One of them was, to be frank, a complete c*nt of a woman who it emerged had allowed some appalling sexual abuse to take place under her roof. She had a real "do you know who you're talking to?" Air about her.

For me, the term conjures up horrible connotations.

exoticfruits Tue 23-Apr-13 22:17:12

Smile, nod, ignore.

hairtearing Tue 23-Apr-13 22:18:42

Someone who actually refers to themselves as a matriarch sounds like they have delusions of grandeur,

About as stable as that bloke who though he was the son of god.

Springforward Tue 23-Apr-13 22:19:57

Erm, I don't think we've got one and we do ok smile

apostropheuse Tue 23-Apr-13 22:20:47

To the best of my knowledge it's normally just used to mean the oldest female in the family. It doesn't always have negative connotations.

exoticfruits Tue 23-Apr-13 22:21:29

If she has had to announce it then she has already failed! I bet her mother never announced it.

apostropheuse Tue 23-Apr-13 22:26:20

"If she has had to announce it then she has already failed! I bet her mother never announced it"

You're right exotic.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 23-Apr-13 22:28:51

Ooh, I've just thought, since my mum died last year that must mean I'm the matriarch.
What do I get?

apostropheuse Tue 23-Apr-13 22:40:19

You get job satisfaction and the right to be completely barking. I'm loving it ladybeagle.

TroublesomeEx Wed 24-Apr-13 06:54:21

My MIL is a bit like that. She hasn't announced it as such, but she certainly adopts the role.

Her son and I are separated, but she and I still get on well, and she still tries to pull rank with me sometimes. grin

Bless her!

PoppyWearer Wed 24-Apr-13 06:57:22

My MIL hasn't specifically said so, but since her mother and DH's other grandmother both had turns for the worse health-wise, she has definitely tried to adopt this role.

That throne is mine.

(Is there a throne? Sceptre? Crown? Tiara, surely?)

PoppyWearer Wed 24-Apr-13 06:57:55

<ponders if Camilla and Kate have this issue>

Sugarice Wed 24-Apr-13 07:30:12

What fills you with dread, I'm intrigued by this.

Does she insist on hand kissing and all family business going through her before a decision is made? wink

Toasttoppers Wed 24-Apr-13 08:36:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CambridgeBlue Wed 24-Apr-13 10:31:42

I think delusions of grandeur is about right. She's not even the oldest in her family (2 older sisters) but in our bit of it I suppose she is. I think I am filled with dread because it signals to me years ahead of her wanting to be the centre of attention and feeling that because she's the oldest it's her right. I am happy to care for her, celebrate her special days, do all the right things but I hate feeling forced into it and I've a feeling I will be <sigh>.

CambridgeBlue Wed 24-Apr-13 10:32:07

LOL at Camilla and Kate though, and there's me thinking I've got problems!

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