My DM is insistent that she's the 'matriarch' of our family since her DM passed away and the idea fills me with dread because I know what occupying that position means.
My DGM was lovely and lived to almost 100 so obviously that was something to be celebrated, especially when she was the only one of her generation left. DM on the other hand is already going on about us organising a big party for her 70th in 18 months time and I can see her mentally stepping into the role of elderly tyrant family figure who everything revolves around. As we aren't in the cast of Eastenders I can't see the need or place for this sort of role in our family and would like to nip it in the bud before she gets any more ideas. AIBU?
Where I previously worked, some of our most notoriously criminal/"difficult" families had Matriarch figures. One of them was, to be frank, a complete c*nt of a woman who it emerged had allowed some appalling sexual abuse to take place under her roof. She had a real "do you know who you're talking to?" Air about her.
For me, the term conjures up horrible connotations.
I think delusions of grandeur is about right. She's not even the oldest in her family (2 older sisters) but in our bit of it I suppose she is. I think I am filled with dread because it signals to me years ahead of her wanting to be the centre of attention and feeling that because she's the oldest it's her right. I am happy to care for her, celebrate her special days, do all the right things but I hate feeling forced into it and I've a feeling I will be <sigh>.