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to not bother wrapping dps birthday presents

(33 Posts)
Lora1982 Tue 23-Apr-13 20:42:18

Hes annoyed the hell out of so tired up with the baby til 12 everynight then up again from 6 i dont get any naps in the day. Its his birthday tomorrow and he will be going bed early... About 6pm!!... Because hes working thursday. Ive tried telling him id like help, tried just leaving him to it but no its just me who has to do all the baby things 24/7. Im exhausted and i cant be arsed to wrap his presents, considering just putting them in carrier bags. Aibu?

SacreBlue Tue 23-Apr-13 20:45:44

I probably shouldn't be answering I never wrap any presents for adults, and only at Christmas for children, and not my child, or children over 5.

Frankly if he isn't helping you with the baby you both made then I wouldn't have even got him a present...

edwardsmum11 Tue 23-Apr-13 20:52:44

I didn't do hubbys this year.

CocacolaMum Tue 23-Apr-13 20:56:58

YANBU as long as you aren't surprised when he does the same to you on your birthday.

He is going to bed early tomorrow because he is working the next day you said so what's the problem? I don't understand. If I was working then damn right my OH would be looking after our DCs. I get you are tired but tbh 6 hours sleep is pretty good going for me

Lora1982 Tue 23-Apr-13 21:01:36

He only works thursday-saturday so bed at half seven tonight is non excusable in my eyes.

Ive wrapped them in carrier bags and put them in an old cereal box with so much cellotape on ive made myself feel better by being a cow.

SpanishFly Tue 23-Apr-13 22:55:18

I think that's a bit mean - you could have it out with him before his bday rather than setting up a situation that will likely blow things up on his bday.
He is being an arse, but spoiling his bday isnt going to achieve much

DamnBamboo Tue 23-Apr-13 23:01:39

Yes, because not wrapping his presents and being a cow on his birthday gives you the moral high-ground doesn't it.

Probably took you as long to put all that sellotape on as it would have to wrap them

DamnBamboo Tue 23-Apr-13 23:04:12

p.s. 6 hours is plenty

GlitterySkulls Tue 23-Apr-13 23:05:40

i don't think you're being a cow.

however, i wouldn't have bothered buying him a present if he never helped look after HIS OWN CHILD.

SomethingOnce Wed 24-Apr-13 00:06:20

What?! Wrapping is the best bit!

Lora1982 Wed 24-Apr-13 07:17:06

How is it ruining his birthday?!? Its not like ive just ignored the day is it? And six hours clearly isnt enough for me if im falling sleep by the afternoon.

Lovelygoldboots Wed 24-Apr-13 07:25:45

I can't believe

Lovelygoldboots Wed 24-Apr-13 07:28:59

Too soon! That not wrapping present is spoiling his bday. Sounds like you need a break. How old is baby. Does baby ever nap so you could get some rest?

JumpingJackSprat Wed 24-Apr-13 07:32:52

Sounds like youve tried talking to him and he isnt listening. not sure what to suggest.. maybe post in relationships?

FattyMcChubster Wed 24-Apr-13 07:49:10

Just because op's partner works that means he doesn't have to help with the dc at all? Seriously?
So op gets no free time whereas partner can enjoy his days off getting as much sleep as he needs and not having anything to do with the kids?
Doesn't seem fair to me.
Op, 6 hours sleep is not sufficient for a lot of people. YANBU.
Talk to him, tell him how you feel and you need some help.

Don't fall out for his birthday though, you'll end up feeling bad later on.

namechangea Wed 24-Apr-13 07:49:30

What hours does he work to warrant going to bed at 6pm?

IsabelleRinging Wed 24-Apr-13 07:57:03

Why is the baby up until 12?

Lora1982 Wed 24-Apr-13 08:04:45

Thank you fatty thats my veiw too! Yesterday (ie NOT his birthday) i asked him to give the baby a bottle so i could lay on the sofa and he said "what? On my birthday?" pffft. My baby is 15 wks he seems to be teething or something at the min so wont nap and wants comforting so nope i dont get a break at the min bless him.

Im not falling out with dp, im not THAT mardy, but this would perhaps show i have no time or energy left to make the effort aswell as being a bit fun watching him get through the tape.

He works 6-2 and sometimes goes bed even earlier than 6pm if hes working the next day. He is good when he is up though makes me tea on demand and such.

Ive compromised and left it all in the impenetrable box and wrapped a bit of xmas wrapping paper on it grin

innermuddle Wed 24-Apr-13 08:43:25

It sounds like you both are people that need more sleep then others. If he starts work at 6 what time is he up? I assume 5ish, so he is having around 11hours sleep. That is a lot of sleep in my view. I have 5 children, including a 4 month old and average around 4-5 hours sleep. 6hrs would be amazing! However, some people do need more sleep than others. So it is not the number of hours you have that matters, but if you are having enough sleep for you.
The bigger issue seems that you feel unsupported by him, and worn down by caring for the baby.
Have you actually told your partner how you are feeling? I mean not asking him to do x or y task, byte actually saying " I'm ffeeling really tired and starting to feel all the responsibility for caring for baby falls on me". It might help to spell it out maybe?

Lora1982 Wed 24-Apr-13 09:01:28

Yes. Hes apologised for going bed early last night, like a good boy.
I have told him im tired and worn out i think he just needs to realise a baby is 24/7 which is harder than a three day week.

He thoroughly enjoyed the celloptape. I gave him a no scissors rule which made it last longer. So apparently i wasnt bu sad

SpanishFly Wed 24-Apr-13 10:45:53

Hang on, in defence of my earlier comment saying it'll "spoil" his birthday... When faced with posts such as "Ive wrapped them in carrier bags and put them in an old cereal box with so much cellotape on ive made myself feel better by being a cow."
I'd be fuming if my DH did this with my bday presents. My point was there's a WAY to address these things and deliberately "being a cow" (OP's words) isnt it, imo.
At no point do I think she should put up with his behaviour, but deliberately trying to be mean isnt fair on his bday.

DIYapprentice Wed 24-Apr-13 10:53:51

Ah damn, he was being a reasonable bugger and ruined your mini tantrum!!! wink

You're tired, he's being thoughtless. He's apologised, hope the apology sticks and it results in him helping you more. I hope you manage to work it out.

SacreBlue Wed 24-Apr-13 21:17:33

The thought that any adult's birthday would be ruined by wrapping or not wrapping a present is frankly fucking silly and so bloody childish it's an insult to children

2rebecca Wed 24-Apr-13 21:25:18

Unwrapping presents is the best bit

SpanishFly Wed 24-Apr-13 22:10:05

Sacre, the fact you'd assume your views are correct rather than just an opinion is fucking silly.
It's not just about the present wrapping. She was deliberately trying to wind him up. You do the math.

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